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Supreme Court weighing public school graduation in a church Emily Alpert: Recession dragged down birth rates for less-educated women Morgan Housel: The deep downside of home ownership Peter Teffer: Will Dutch police soon be stalking cybercriminals on your computer? Heidi McIndoo, M.S., R.D.: Meatless 'meat' can have its own set of problems The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Celebrate! This must-try appetizer is delicate yet has depth of flavor: Corn-Leek Cakes with Caviar, Smoked Salmon and Creme Fraiche May 10, 2013 Rabbi Berel Wein: Be all that you should be Caroline B. Glick: The dirty little secret about Israel's Arabs Mona Charen: Hawking's Moral Calculus: The man and the movement he embraces Morgan Housel: The biggest retirement myth ever told Sandi Doughton: Eyes may provide new insight into brain problems Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : The Great Gatsby's Jewish Ties; Jews in the "Time 100 list" List; People's Most Beautiful Women The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: A sweet-hot meal: Pear salsa spices up salmon May 8, 2013 Peter Ford: Why China is welcoming both Israel's Netanyahu and Palestinians' Abbas Warren Richey: Obama administration quietly backs out of appeal over new contraceptive mandate Fred Weir: At Kerry-Putin meeting, US-Russia relations thaw --- a tad Amanda Paulson: Study reveals sad truths about community colleges 'Garbage man' in cells could extend life Harvard Health Letters: Evidence weak that zinc, echinacea are beneficial The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross : Almost too pretty to eat, this colorful salad with Sicilian inspiration will tickle the taste buds and delight your visual sensibility May 6, 2013 Edmund Sanders and Patrick J. McDonnell: Think Israel's objective in Syria is to weaken Assad or embolden the rebels? Think again Brian Bennett: Israeli airstrikes may show weakness in Syrian defense Michael Ollove: Millions of ex-felons, parolees and those on probation are about to be entitled to tax-payer paid health coverage Karen Kaplan: Most men can skip PSA test for prostate cancer, urologists say Kimberly Lankford: How to track down a lost life insurance policy Dream of Mars exploration achievable, experts say The Kosher Gourmet by Susan M. Selasky: EGGPLANT WRAPS are an easy, sumptuous and scrumptious meal May 3, 2013 Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Human Courage and the Unavoidable, Disturbing Text Steven Emerson: Attorney General Fights CAIR in Court, Lauds it in Public Mediterranean diet helps beat dementia: study Harvard Health Letters: When to be screened for a hearing problem Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Iron Man's Jewish Connections; Marc Maron's New TV Show; Martin Landau Grows Up with Israel; Shalom, Allan Arbus The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: A sweet surprise for Mother's Day dessert May 1, 2013 Jonathan Rosenblum: An Improbable Journey to Orthodoxy Jonathan Tobin: Blame Obama, Not Israel for Syria Push Kids, kittens the Same? With employee perks at struggling Internet pioneer Yahoo! it's hard to tell Halena M. Gazelka, M.D.: Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: What you need to know about implanted pain relief devices Sandy Kleffman: Artificial kidney offers hope to patients tethered to a dialysis machine Jessica Shugart: When it comes to math, MRIs may be better than IQs The Kosher Gourmet by Mario Batali: The celebrated chef on how high-maintenance ASPARAGUS RISOTTO need not be April 29, 2013 Roy Gutman: Poland's new Jewish museum celebrates life, doesn't revisit Holocaust Mark Clayton: Terrorism in America: Is US missing a chance to learn from failed plots? Kim Murphy: Boston Bomber's 'Svengali' Revealed Morgan Housel: He's rich, smart and old: Listen to him Thomas Salinas, D.D.S.: Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: The safety of amalgam fillings Harvard Health Letters: Tomatoes and stroke protection Pete Spotts: Tiny satellites + cellphones = cheaper 'eyes in the sky' for NASA The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Swing into spring with lemon cream pie April 26, 2013 Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: The world is a mirror Caroline B. Glick: Time to confront Obama Clifford D. May: Defense in the Age of Jihadist Terrorism Kimberly Lankford: New strategies ease pain of paying for long-term care insurance Howard LeWine, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Too much ibuprofen? Sharon Palmer, R.D.: How to feel your best -- with plenty of energy, a healthy weight and optimal mental and physical function -- without driving yourself batty Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom: Jewish Major Leaguers, 2013; New Movies and Comedy Show; Shalom, 'Lumpy' (Leave it to Beaver) The Kosher Gourmet by Emily Ho : A bright and cheerful salad to herald the warmer months ahead April 24, 2013 Steven Emerson: Boston Bomber Exposes Islamist Secret Top Muslim cleric boycotts inter-faith dialogue conference attended by 'Jews' Morgan Housel Admit it: No one has any idea what's going on Harvard Health Letters: Can you get headaches from headache medication? 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Jewish World Review Feb. 2, 2009 / 8 Shevat 5769 A brief emergency By Dave Barry http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Today we have some urgent breaking news, defined as "news that happened at some point and we just now found out because we're way behind in our mail." Our first breaking item is an alarming report in the Erie (Pa.) Times-News, which devoted most of its front page, and an entire inside page, to this story. What happened, in brief, was that an 18-year-old male got sick and defecated in . . . well, in his briefs. He then changed at a friend's house, put his soiled clothes in a black garbage bag and threw it away. Now, in normal times, this would not be front-page news, even in Erie. But of course, we do not live in normal times. The day before the man soiled his undies in Erie, the U.S. Attorney General had issued one of those vague yet unhelpful terrorism warnings that boil down to: "Be afraid! Be very afraid!" So the nation was on High Random Fear Alert when the young man disposed of his briefs. Unfortunately, he tossed the garbage bag next to a municipal reservoir and was spotted by a water works employee, who reported the bag to the police, who called out the Bomb Squad and the Hazardous Materials Response Team. After several tense hours, police apprehended the young man, who told them what was in the garbage bag. This was confirmed by the Bomb Squad, and I think we can all agree that no matter how much those officers get paid, it is not enough. So life in Erie returned to normal for everybody except the young man, who is currently in a Guantanamo Bay cell surrounded by irate military dogs. No, seriously, he faced minor charges, and we're sure he's doing just as well as you'd be doing if you were the subject of a front-page newspaper story informing the world that you managed to paralyze your city after doodifying your drawers. But let this story serve as a reminder to all of us: If we ever have a similar accident, we should NOT dispose of our underwear in a careless manner. Instead, we should — to quote the U.S. Department of Homeland Security director — "mail it to whoever is responsible for the TV show 'Wife Swap.'" Our next piece of breaking news is a brief newspaper article from California headlined, "Officials Crack Down on 'Bathtub' Cheese." It begins: "San Diego County health officials warned against buying or eating cheeses made in bathtubs that were being sold door to door." It is not clear, from this wording, whether it is the cheese that is being sold door to door, or the bathtubs. To be on the safe side, we urge residents of San Diego County to avoid both bathing AND eating suspicious cheese, lest you wind up becoming ill and producing what gastroenterologists refer to as an "Erie Special." In international news, we have a disturbing item from the Daily Yomiuri, an English-language Japanese newspaper, which says "an 83-year-old professor emeritus was arrested after attacking a salesman with a sword after the man offered to 'fix his sewage pipes.'" The professor was arrested on suspicion of violating the "Firearms and Swords Control Law." This story should remind all Americans how lucky we are to live in a nation where we have a constitutional right to keep and bear swords to protect ourselves from those who would repair our sewage pipes. We also have the right to vote for our leaders, which leads us to our final breaking news item: Apparently there was some kind of presidential election recently. Somebody should look into this. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Comment by clicking here. Previously: It's time for me to come clean about my dirty ways A ruff and ready playmate Sticking it to bad drivers The gravity of skiing Warning: DO NOT READ WHILE SLEEPING! I had fun, fun, fun till someone took my Vega away Attack on language from Shaq to shark Defusing the turkey bomb Driving While Stupid I'm living in a perpetual state of confusion Traveling with little ones is just plane crazy It's time to unmask a more traditional Halloween U.S. needs to shoot for a better class of criminals Mountain man training involves some trash talk Ten rules for making the world a much better place A slide down memory lane reminds me I got burned This latest research is enough to drive you nuts Wrestling with night critters gives me butterflies Silly songs get this old teapot into some hot water Kids better wise up, or they're doomed to repeat Overweight? I'm in training for the next Ice Age The bleu plate special proves just ducky on this trip Just weighting for the day I can build a better body Better to light a single gift candle than to curse your wife These camping tips will make for some happy trails I'm shooting the rapids with eyes wide shut People's bad grammar is enough to make me sic Toilet water as a weapon? That idea really stinks The carefree days of summer begin with the ants in my pants Heartland's moovers & shakers are an udder disgrace I've found a guy who can do this better than I can If you really love Dad, give him a big box of nothing Graduates, the world is your oyster — and it's shut How to look good in a swimsuit — no ifs, ands or butts Trip proves I'm the king of my own castle The writer vs. the writher beats the Hil & Obama fight Complain about gridlock? That's just a dead end New phone tactics help me develop new hangups For faithful readers, a course in Journalism $1.01 How to speak English very much better When it comes to laundry, men are all washed up This houseguest is ready to throw in the towel Fixing your home can truly be a bonding experience The lies about this mammal just drive me batty In spin cycle of love, hard to be delicate It's just not the time to thumb our nose at bagels Latest fitness Rx for men is a yawn My daughter's party, I'll cry if I want to Sanguine ride on rabid transportation One experiment worth repeating Nothing like a good trip to help me see the light The lord of the dance doesn't have anything on me Invention clearly worth the brewhaha Safe on the slopes Why-oh-why-oh-why-oh… A gross national columnist Mr. Language Person: Weird word I (cough) was a teenage smoker! Frogs hop into the headlines Great American turkeys Mr. Fixit strikes again ‘Einstein Gap’: It's all relative Lost in space The Trojan Twinkie Caper MR. LANGUAGE PERSON: WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE! Feeding your worst fears Sock it to 'em, sartorially The rubber band man Does public art make sense? Needling the birthday boy On calamities (in the sky and on your head) Modern medical mysteries Bored games Dave's Field of Nightmares Lewis and Clark stepped here! The ultimate water gun Poetic license, with no rhyme or reason Great moments in science This won't hurt a bit One giant leap for frogkind My visit to Nether-Netherland Smile and say cheese Shooting carps in Wisconsin The perfect storm Stickup in aisle 3 Please don't feed the tourists Land of the Frozen Earwax The birth of wail Honk if you're married and can't cope with anger Rabbit ears get poor reception Percentage of frogs in food jumps Night of the living roach Mr. Language Person: Some words of wisdomality Mind your P's and Q's and teas Loose lips sink sequels NOW WE'RE COOKIN'! The right to Bear clubs Science: It's just not fair Road warrior specials Where's the beef? (Low fat) There is nothing like a male (guys) MOTIVATE! THEN FAIL! NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS Rooting for the midgets of the Midway Revolt of the rodents He can drive any truck named ‘Tonka’ All bets are off How do you spell S-A-T? Sour grapes and mud Pro golf: A game of non-stop boredom Guard-dog vigilance is nothing to sniff at Warm and fuzzy Cold War memories The funny side of ‘Beowulf’ HOLY HEAT WAVE, BATMAN! Abs-olute madness Beware of brainy bugs I'm in a sorry state The frog plague: The inside story If she had a hammer…. Keeping an eye on crime Camping and Lewis and Clark When in Iowa, don't forget to duck Junior takes the wheel Growing old with Dave Sites for sore eyes Beware of sheep droppings Ireland, land of bad Elvis Mr. Peabrain's misadventures When they're out to get you, keep cool Mothers of invention Kill 'em with kindness © 2006, The Miami Herald Distributed by Tribune Media Services, Inc.

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