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Dec. 2, 2008
Melanie Phillips: The Mumbai atrocity is a wake-up call for a frighteningly unprepared world
Stratfor Geopolitical Intelligence Report: Strategic Motivations for the Mumbai Attack
Dec. 1, 2008
Max Freidlander, as told to Jacklyn C. Wadler: India Inkings
Mark Steyn: Whodunit!?
Nov. 28, 2008
Rabbi Ahron Rapps: An evil seed that didn't have to be
Melanie Phillips: Carpe diem --- or can we all relax now?
Nov. 26, 2008
Michael Feldberg: Meet the Orthodox Jew who laid groundwork for scientific development of ordnance that undergirds America's current world leadership
Andrea Simantov:
Shades of life
Nov. 25, 2008
The Jewish Ethicist
by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : Getting Emotional For Influence
The Kosher Gourmet
by Ethel G. Hofman : Thanksiving feast!
Nov. 24, 2008
Rabbi S. Binyomin Ginsberg: 'I just Became a grandchild!'
Barry Rubin: Don't flatter your enemies, protect your friends
Nov. 21, 2008
Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: Money matters?
Caroline B. Glick:
Civilization walks the plank
Nov. 20, 2008
Rabbi Avi Shafran: Bronfman's blindness
The Kosher Gourmet
By Linda Gassenheimer: Portobellos add a hearty flavor to pasta with pesto
Nov, 19, 2008
The Jewish Ethicist
by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : Spread the wealth? Jewish tradition and income equality
Elliot B. Gertel:
'Mad Men': Tackling prejudices or reinforcing them?
Nov, 18, 2008
Dr. Debby Schwarz Hirschhorn: The End of the Age of Reason
Jonathan Tobin: Does Barack + Bibi = Disaster?
Nov, 17, 2008
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The End of the Age of Reason
Diana West: Gulling Americans into making terror legit?
Nov, 14, 2008
Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: The Power of Spiritual Inertia
Caroline B. Glick: The perils ahead
Nov, 13, 2008
Stratfor Intelligence Briefing: How Bush and Obama together could change the Middle East dynamic
The Kosher Gourmet
by JeanMarie Brownson: Sweet and savory, crispy and meltingly tender bestilla
Nov, 12, 2008
The Jewish Ethicist
by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : Tyrannical Co-Workers
Michael Doyle: High Court to consider today donated monuments that may have religious messages in public parks
Nov, 11, 2008
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Will Obama stop government officials considering institutionalizing financial jihad?
Jonathan Tobin: They Will Decide Their Own Fate
Nov, 10, 2008
Rabbi Avi Shafran: $8 billion, modern-day Tower of Babel being built?
Barry Rubin: A letter to the president-elect from a Middle East realist
Nov, 7, 2008
Rabbi Francis Nataf: Of Children and Immortality
Caroline B. Glick: Livni's Obama strategy
Nov, 6, 2008
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: How I tricked a classroom of apathetic students into grasping the fallacy of moral relativism
The Kosher Gourmet
By Gina Kim: Tips for making the perfect soup --- includes recipes
Nov, 5, 2008
The Jewish Ethicist
By Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Destitute Debtors
Bruce Weinstein: 'Religulos': Bad title,even worse movie
Nov, 4, 2008
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Treasury Dept. submits to Shariah law
Frida Ghitis: A surprise for Obama in the Middle East
Nov, 3, 2008
Jonathan Rosenblum: Who says Jews are Smart?
Jonathan Tobin:
Was He Wrong About Everything?
March 22, 2007
J-Rhythms with Avraham Rosenblum: JWR's cutting-edge music program showcasing performers -- singers, song writers, musicians, and bands -- who learn and live the Torah lifestyle (OUR NEWEST IGODCAST !)
Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)
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Jewish World Review
April 9, 2008
/ 4 Nissan 5768
Down The Stretch, Here Come The Candidates...And The Commercials
By
Steve Young
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Only three weeks to go and it already feels like an eternity. But you
ain't seen nutin' yet. We're the last big stop before the Democratic
Convention and besides bogus news soundbites you can expect Barack,
Hillary and the Networks to pull out all the stops...
Fox News captures Hillary in a George Washington wig throwing a dollar
across the Delaware. MSNBC does a feature on Obama wearing a Ben Franklin
bifocals and bald cap catching the dollar, and cholera, in Valley Forge.
Jon Stewart interviews a bearded Hillary as she delivers an address at
Gettysburg. Saturday Night Live talks the two candidates to duke it out
on a nearby Gettysburg battlefield . Oh, the humanity. ...which also means 24/7 candidate pitches on TV, radio and phone
interrupting shows, dinner, and anything left of peace of mind.
Take One...
Hillary Clinton stands behind a nondescript Philly cheesesteak counter
serving up sangwitches.
"Yo, Philly! Dis iz Hil. Not for nuthin', but if youse guyz want someone
who wawks da wawk n'knowz dat 'Merca needz a prezident wit 'sperience,
like steaks need cheez-wiz 'n dah Iggles needa wide receiver who can
break a long one, member t'vote faw me dis April 22. It doehn matta
wetter youz speak Inglish at Geno's or 'Talian at Pat's, I know wat ahm
doin'. Y'unnerstan? Y'gotta guh hed and pullda lever faw a real Philly
goil. (Turns to customer) Ain't that right, Cuz? (He gives thumbs up. Hil
holds up cheesesteak). C'mon, I ain't got all day. Wit ot witout?
Take Two...
"Flashdance" blares in a small Pittsburgh steel-mill strip club as the
lithe and limber Barack Obama lands in a chair, releasing a shower of
water over his five hundred dollar Oxfords, then answers the phone at
2:59AM to find that he has not only won the presidency but the
scholarship to the dance academy he had his hopes and dreams on but no
one but he and Michele thought he would. He does a spin, a series of
flips and finishes in a full split, turning to the camera...
"Yes we can. Yes, we can."
Take Three...
Hillary in apron and bonnet, helps her Quaker super delegates in Amish
Country raise a barn. She turns to camera.
"If the barn wall falls on your family and outens your ability to raise
another barn , will you have the health insurance to mind you and your
neighbor's barn? I'm Hillary Clinton and as sure as I hate modern
technology and approve riding a horse and carriage to work, I approve
this message. Gott segen eich."
Take Four...
Barack Obama stands on a Roosevelt Boulevard corner in the Northeast,
hawking soft pretzels. A car stops and Barack leans over to driver.
"You want mustard wit dat?!"
Turns to camera...
"Or do you want hope?!"
Take Five...
The Rocky theme song, "Gonna Fly Now," plays as Hillary, the 2008
comeback kid, jogs through the Philadelphia Italian market, flies past
Pat's and Geno's of South Philly, punches hanging raw meat in a Broad
Street meat locker, and breathlessly scales the seventy-two steps of the
Philadelphia Art Museum, finally reaching the plateau where victoriously
she answers a red phone... at 3AM in the morning.
But the commercials will be nothing compared to the turf street-battles
fights Philly street corner: Chubby Checker, Bobby Rydell, Fabian and Frankie
Avalon harmonize as Hillary does the Twist in front of them. Catacorner,
fainting commences as Teddy Pendergrass serenades the ladies as Will
Smith and Patti LaBelle supply backup and Grammy Award winner Barack
breaks a move with Oprah, who's not from Pennsylvania, but could buy the
state for Obama if she wanted.
It's gonna be a rough three more weeks as the candidates plunder
Pennsylvania for all it's worth. I just got one thing to say. Lemme know
when they're done. I'll be waitin' in 'Lantic City 'til they are.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Steve Young is an award-winning TV writer and author of "Great Failures
of the Extremely Successful". Comment by clicking here.
© 2008, Steve Young
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