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May 25, 2012
Mark Clayton: Is Hillary's State Dept. hacking Al Qaeda? Not quite
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The Kosher Gourmet by Ethel G. Hofman: The former president of the International Association of Culinary Professionals, whose members included the likes of Julia Child, is back with contemporary Shavous cuisine: Ruby Fruit Soup, Sweet Noodle Kugel with Cheese, Key Lime Curd, Calsone Casserole Frittata with Wild Mushrooms, Sun-dried tomatoes and Olives, Baked Tilapia with Pepper Cheese Cream and Brown Sugar Shortbread
May 24, 2012
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May 23, 2012
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May 22, 2012
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Thomas M. Anderson: Walking Away From a Mortgage
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May 21, 2012
Mark Clayton: Cybersecurity: How US utilities passed up chance to protect their networks
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Chris Farrell : Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF
Stephen Whiteside, Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Social anxiety disorder --- or just shy?
Guy Jackson : Victim's father regrets death of Lockerbie bomber
The Kosher Gourmet by Mario Batali: Famed chef's veal shoulder farsumagru: A festive meat course for late spring
May 18, 2012
Rabbi Berel Wein: Striving: The People of the Book's Book for (All of) the People
Steven Goldberg: 5 Great Stock Picks and the Exchange-Traded Fund that Owns Them
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The Kosher Gourmet by Carolyn Malcoun: DIY healthy lunchbox treats: HOMEMADE FRUIT BARS for kids and brown-bagging adults alike
May 17, 2012
Warren Richey: Teacher fired for being unwed and pregnant can sue religious school, court rules
Josh Mitnick: Netanyahu's 'centrist' coalition is already proving it's anything but
Steven Goldberg: Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF
Amina Khan: Research links coffee to lower death rates
The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Duran : Cheesy Potato Breakfast Casserole with Cheddar and Sun-Dried Tomatoes
May 16, 2012
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Melissa Healy: National strategy on Alzheimer's disease aims to halt it by 2025
The Kosher Gourmet by Joyce White : GOODNESS GRACIOUS: GREENS! 4 winning recipes that are no longer just for down-home folks (Includes expert tips & techniques)
May 15, 2012
Kristen Chick: Obama administration resumes arms sales to Bahrain despite serious unresolved human rights issues. Activists feel abandoned
Pat Mertz Esswein: Homes are now affordable again and mortgage rates are low. What you need to know before you buy
Kathy Kristof: Our Practical Investor Fights Inflation with These 6 Investments
Sue Hubbard, M.D.: The Kid's Doctor: Lactose intolerant young child? Check again
The Kosher Gourmet by Kathy Hunt: Spread a Little Excitement with EXOTIC CONDIMENTS (4 RECIPES)
May 14, 2012
Lisa Gerstner: How to Protect Your Identity, Finances If You Lose Your Phone
Harvard Health Letters: Heart disease and dementia
The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon: MANGO COCONUT OAT MORNING MUFFINS are a bright but hearty delight
May 11, 2012
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The Kosher Gourmet by Chef Mario Batali: The famed chef's vegetable dish that tastes true to the season: FAVAS AND SUGAR SNAP PEAS WITH POTATOES AND TARRAGON
May 10, 2012
Sergei L. Loiko: Putin sends warning to U.S., NATO in Victory Day speech at Red Square
Mary Rourke: How being a 'mentch' got Vidal Sasoon his start and fighting in Israel's War of Independence provided him with confidence and a strong sense of his own identity
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The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom: Gleaming with its golden, crimson, and snowy white hues, this silken smooth and creamy STRAWBERRY ORANGE TRIFLE looks impressive, but is easy to prepare
May 9, 2012
Sharon Palmer, R.D. How you can reduce your risk -- or delay -- chronic diseases associated with aging
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Jewish World Review
Dec. 28, 2009
/ 11 Teves 5770
A girlfriend and wife must know her place
By
Betsy Hart
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The idea of engaging in "Webtribution" is a little alien to me.
Apparently that's the practice of defaming a so-called enemy on the Internet. To me it just seems so public. (I mean really, aren't there more subtle ways?)
So I was only passingly interested in the merits of "The Dark Side of 'Webtribution,'" a recent piece in the Wall Street Journal by Elizabeth Bernstein. Bernstein focused on adults who engage in such online revenge and the devastating consequences for victims and perpetrators.
It all would have remained a yawner for me, except for the story of one woman, Renee Holder. A few years ago, Holder discovered that "dozens of her MySpace friends had received an anonymous e-mail calling her a tramp and a home-wrecker." Because Holder was pursuing a married man? No. The "allegations" came from her new boyfriend's ex-girlfriend.
"Family members called and questioned her [Holder's] morals. . . several friends cut her off completely," Bernstein writes. So, Holder painstakingly tried to explain to all who had been contacted that her boyfriend and his former girlfriend broke up months before Holder came along. "It took me far longer to repair the damage than it took that woman to create it."
Our culture is so warped on this one. There is, or should be, relationship status in marriage alone. Because only in marriage is there a meaningful and legal commitment that deserves respect. That's why if Holder did go after a fellow while he was in a relationship with a woman, I'd say more power to her. (Actually, I'd say that in general women shouldn't pursue men, but that's a different column.)
If she'd won her man she shouldn't have felt guilty about it in the least. For him, if he'd succumbed to her pursuit, it wouldn't have meant anything other than he chose Girlfriend B over Girlfriend A. And he'd have been totally within his rights.
Of course, if he or she had lied or deceived in the process they'd have something to repent for. But on the merits "cheating" in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship isn't possible, because such a relationship has no status that deserves protection.
In other words, Renee Holder had nothing to explain to anyone.
I admit that I think it's just silly when adults note on their Facebook page that they are "in a relationship with So-and-So." Please. Grow up and get back to me when you are married and actually have something to report. Far more seriously, I cringe at how destructive it is to marriage in general and women in particular when Hollywood couples like "Brangelina" suggest that we should respect their live-in honeys as their spouses.
Only after a wedding do all the rules change. Or at least that's when they should change. Because only then is a public commitment in place that is worthy of respect. "What G0d has joined together let no man put asunder." We are called to put up careful boundaries around our own marriages, and to respect and protect the marriages of others.
It's true that sadly, ironically, we often don't do so. But we are certainly not called to protect anything less. In fact to do so trivializes marriage itself.
Look, I've been a wife. Now I'm a girlfriend. And I'm a happy one, because there's a time and place to think through a future together. But I hope I would never, ever confuse the privileges, or the responsibilities, of the two positions.
Our culture would be far better off, and women and children in particular far more protected, if it didn't confuse the two, either.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Betsy Hart, a frequent commentator on CNN and the Fox News Channel, can be reached by clicking here.
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