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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review December 17, 2012/ 4 Teves 5773

A funeral, a delayed flight and a revelation

By Betsy Hart



http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | A Webster's Dictionary of the English Language defines "intentionality" -- the noun, not the adverb -- as having the quality of being "intentional; (of) aim; (of) design."

I so appreciate that "aim" is part of the definition.

I thought of that as I spoke with a friend recently. She and I met up at a funeral and discussed how common, at our age, they seem to be becoming. At this point in our lives, of course, it's mostly parents, friends of parents and parents of friends. Though in this particular case it was for a wonderful young man. Those are always sobering.

My flight home was delayed so I had extra time with this dear friend, and I am grateful. She happened to mention that with a recently deceased father-in-law and what seems like a spate of funerals over the last year, she has a greater appreciation for how fast life moves and changes, and it is impressing on her the need to have more intentionality in her relationships.

I was intrigued.

Anything in life falls apart if it's not deliberately and regularly shored up, she said -- house, laundry room, body, car, lawn, work life, you name it.

So why, too often, do we not give our relationships, even the ones that matter or should matter so much, the same attention we give to these other things? Too often we outright neglect them, yet think they will thrive anyway -- while we would never think that of, say, a flowerbed.

She and I talked about marriage, for starters. How everything in our culture, and in our fallen natures, conspires to break down our unions, or at least make us too complacent about them, and we have to constantly resist that pull. But do we?

The same is true for so many relationships. With friends, with family, with our children. If we don't actively work at it, have as our aim to build up the relationships we care about, they will always deteriorate.

That word "aim" is key. Especially in a fast-paced culture. On the plane ride home, I decided that "intentionality" in my relationships could be an important goal for me in the New Year. To ask myself: What is my aim for my children's and my relationships (which is different from my aim for them as individuals); my aim for my relationship with my new husband, and that's one to discuss with him; for my relationships with dear friends and even casual friends. I don't mean to over-think this. I just mean that if I really care about a person and desire an ongoing relationship at any level, it's going to mean making time and expending effort and thoughtfulness to make it happen.

"Intentional" -- again, according to the Webster's I have on my shelf -- is defined as "the fixed direction of the mind, to a particular object; a determination to do a specified thing or to act in a particular manner."

That's going to look very different in terms of my husband than it does with my children, or than it does with a friend. But the principle is the same: Neglect a relationship that I care about, or should care about, and it will fall apart.

I suppose this might mean making more regular time away from our kids for my husband and me to really talk and listen to each other, or more time over lunches with a gal pal to let her know she matters, or maybe consistent prayer for a person or a family. Or it might mean building a relationship in ways I can't even see right now. And I'll need to keep asking myself: "Exactly what steps am I taking to keep it healthy?"

I realize this is, in many ways, just common sense. But on the other hand, I don't find intentionality about relationships to be that common in our fast-paced culture.

So, for once, I'm really glad my flight was delayed.

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