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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Sept. 13, 2013/ 9 Tishrei, 5774

Of double and different standard

By Betsy Hart



http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Is there a double standard as to how we treat girls' sexuality versus boys'?

I don't think there should be a "double" standard -- but there should darn well be a different one. Precisely because in many ways it (begin ital) does (end ital) take a village to raise a child.

In other words, I (gasp!) tell my girls to be thoughtful about how they dress and the messages they are communicating to others, very much including boys, in the process. Right now I'm waging that battle. Their tops I seem to have covered, literally and figuratively, but we are fighting over the length of their shorts. Colder weather can't come soon enough for me.

Meanwhile, I do tell my son that how he dresses communicates how he respects himself and others, too. But I will never worry that my son's, or any son's, attire will send a girl on the other side of the lunchroom into hormone-laden sexual overdrive.

I deal in reality.

The parenting blogosphere has gone wild after a mom of three teenage boys banned from their social-media life the girls who were sending sexy "selfies" to her sons. Selfies are photos that kids -- and others -- take of themselves and then post.

Kim Hall, the director of a women's ministry in Austin, wrote on her blog to some unnamed girl, an avatar for all the girls her sons know, "I know your family would not be thrilled at the thought of my teenage boys seeing you only in your towel." She went on to explain that once a boy visualizes a girl in a sexual way, it's hard to get that image out of his mind.

Well, duh!

What's driving some people crazy is that this mom is supposedly holding girls responsible for sexualizing her sons. Can't boys just be taught to look beyond the towel, not underneath it, and respect a girl no matter what?

And what about that photo of her boys on the beach flexing their muscles while wearing swim trunks -- a photo she herself had posted for a while? Isn't this all a double standard?


No. In general, men are more sexually oriented, more likely to be promiscuous and more easily sexually aroused by visuals than are women. Countless studies have backed up this intuitive if politically incorrect understanding. In other words, there's a reason Playgirl magazine never really went anywhere, and why women prefer to see men in swim trunks as opposed to tiny Speedos.

Conversely, the erotic thriller novel "Fifty Shades of Grey" never gained traction with men -- no visuals! But it was wildly successful with women -- as soft-core bodice-rippers have been for decades -- in large part because the eroticism was wrapped up in an intense and ostensibly romantic relationship. And, it seems, the "safety" and distance of the printed word. No visuals.

Now here's the crux of things: I believe there is no moral difference to boys and girls, men and women, behaving sexually outside of marriage or, for that matter, indulging in pornography via words or image. But there's a popular Rodney Atkins song that says it well:

Come on in boy sit on down

And tell me about yourself

So you like my daughter do you now?

Yeah we think she's something else

She's her daddy's girl

Her momma's world

She deserves respect

That's what she'll get

Now ain't it son?

Y'all run along and have a little fun

I'll see you when you get back

Probably be up all night

Still cleanin' this gun

Now it's all for show

Ain't nobody gonna get hurt

It's just a daddy thing

And hey, believe me, man it works

No father is ever going to have that conversation with the girl his son is taking out.

So you bet I have different standards, based on how differently each gender is (wonderfully) wired. Of course, our culture today hates the fact that men and women are different. However, that obstinence only leaves our boys and girls vulnerable to a host of dangers.

But that understanding is why, out of consideration (begin ital) for others (end ital) and for my children themselves, I will continue to encourage my son to put on a clean shirt before going out. And I will continue to battle with my daughters over the length of their shorts.

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