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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Sept. 2, 2010 / 23 Elul, 5770

The ‘other woman’ finds her married boyfriend divorced

By Betsy Hart



http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | When I last left off with Casey, she was in the midst of an affair with a married man. She's in her late 20s and never married, he's a few years older. They lived in different cities. Casey was growing increasingly frustrated that her boyfriend wasn't "making a decision" about whether to be with her or his wife.

Casey seemed scared when I first spoke with her, different from the oh-so-sure-of-herself person I'd heard discussing her affair on the radio, which is how I "met" Casey. Anyway, I wrote that her dreams of a future with her married boyfriend were unlikely to come true. And if they did, she'd be looking over her shoulder the rest of her life.

Flash forward six months, and once again Casey was willing to open up to me. A lot has changed. She'll soon have a new job and she'll be living in the same city as her boyfriend, whom, she told me, is now divorced.

I admit it: I was gob-smacked at that news. (His ex, she said, still knows nothing of Casey. There are no children involved.)

When I talked to her several months ago, Casey quietly referred to having "moral blood" on her hands. This time, needless to say, she sounded a lot happier. Casey assured me that she was not the reason for the divorce. And, in one sense, she's right. Ultimately, he was the one willing to break the promise. She was a means to his end.

But that doesn't excuse Casey in my book. Why? Because it takes a village to defend a marriage. It's a public institution we are called to protect from within and without. In something of the same way, I was better off as a kid than most are today because I knew if Mrs. Cooper or Mrs. Clancy found me up to something, they'd call my mom in a heartbeat and I'd be in big trouble. Let's just say that offered me moral protection in weaker moments.

But marriage, tragically, has become privatized. We're redefining it to be whatever we want it to be according to our own personal happiness right now. So then, naturally, we no longer feel a responsibility to shore up, to outright protect, each other's marriages. And that leaves them more prone to falling apart in their inevitable moments of weakness.

Casey is reflecting the cultural ambivalence we have today toward marriage in general.

Still, I can tell Casey is struggling with all this. That she was raised to know better, as she told me when we first talked. Maybe that's why I admit I like her and have compassion for her. It's like she's wishing that it had all started out very differently. I don't suggest for a minute that she's not morally responsible for her choices. Only that I'm well aware that for any of us, sin of any stripe can quickly become powerful and blinding.

Anyway, what now? Well, Casey says that she and her boyfriend will date for a while in a "normal" environment where everything is out in the open. She suspects that they will eventually move in together, and after that get married.

I'm guessing her boyfriend will want to date other women now that he's single. But I was totally wrong about his divorce, so who knows? Casey says she wouldn't stand for that -- if he doesn't know she's "the one," she'll walk away. She realizes her heart could still be broken. There's a long road ahead.

I'm left wondering if their life from here on out could ever be "normal" given how it began.

For my part, I would love to call Casey in six months and find that she's met a great guy and sees this affair, and her current boyfriend, in a very different light than she does today.

Stay tuned.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Betsy Hart, a frequent commentator on CNN and the Fox News Channel, can be reached by clicking here.

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