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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review August 18, 2010 / 8 Elul, 5770

Talk to yourself more

By Betsy Hart



http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I will sometimes tell my children "Honey, you need to talk less, and listen more."

But I recently had that admonition turned on its head. I heard it shared that really, "We need to listen to ourselves less, and talk to ourselves more."

How often today's culture seems to encourage us to listen to our emotions and let them dictate our response. We "feel" that we were wronged, or we "feel" that we have a desire for something, or maybe someone other than our spouse, or in my children's case, they "feel" that I'm being terribly unfair about fill-in-the-blank. And those feelings wash over us and direct our heart and our actions, and we let them.

Sure, sometimes we have cause to be unhappy, or we are understandably suffering. It's also the case that there are instances when others really do wrong us.

But most folks, myself at the top of the list, aren't so clear on the details of the wrongs we've committed against others.

We don't want to review those so carefully in our minds or with friends! In fact, when remembering how I have hurt, disappointed, failed another or worse, I'm really good at stopping short in my memory and just refusing to review it. It's just too painful.

But what a good thing it would be to learn to "talk" to ourselves whenever we're tempted to review another's wrong against us (assuming the matter itself has been rightly dealt with as much as it can be). To have a conversation something along the lines of, "self, I refuse to review this again, in the same way I don't want to review my own past wrongs against another."

How freeing such regular "talks" with ourselves would be for most of us!

And on the flip side, we'd be well served to realistically "talk" to ourselves about finding the good even in the very difficulty of the difficult relationship -- how is this stretching me? Or in the very challenge of the challenging circumstance --what am I learning through this pain, how might it help another?

Yep, I think I have to reword a little what I'm teaching my kids. Because how much better off most of us would be if we "listened" to ourselves less, and "talked" to ourselves more.

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