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April 21, 2014

Andrew Silow-Carroll: Passoverkill? Suggestions to make next year's seders even more culturally sensitive

Sara Israelsen Hartley: Seeking the Divine: An ancient connection in a new context

Christine M. Flowers: Priest's execution in Syria should be call to action

Courtnie Erickson: How to help kids accept the poor decisions of others

Lizette Borreli: A Glass Of Milk A Day Keeps Knee Arthritis At Bay

Lizette Borreli: 5 Health Conditions Your Breath Knows Before You Do

The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom Coconut Walnut Bars' golden brown morsels are a beautifully balanced delectable delight

April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review August 5, 2010 / 25 Menachem-Av, 5770

What men really want

By Betsy Hart



http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | It's not every day a woman gets to observe a bunch of guys learning how to develop significant relationships with women. But that's exactly what I was allowed to watch a few weeks ago.

The men gathered in a "boot camp" led by Dr. Paul Dobransky, 42. "Dr. Paul" is a practicing psychiatrist in Chicago who has a special interest in relationships and what makes men and women tick. These guys were learning how to approach a woman and understand her signals, what's important to her, how to court her and how to choose the right woman for a long-term commitment.

The boot camp, which Paul and his staff conduct about once month, comes with a price tag: $1,800 apiece. Seriously.

So, these must have been socially inept nerds, right? No. Here's what so surprised me as I met the men in a Chicago restaurant, and listened to them talk: the four gathered for this session were all nice-looking, intelligent, sociable, professional fellows. They ranged in age from late 20s to early 40s.

To paraphrase a lament from the "Sex and the City" girls, "everyone knows a million great single gals -- but no one knows a million great single guys." So with the deck so stacked in their favor, why in the world is any guy shelling out big bucks for this class?

Well, here's what the "students" told me: They don't think the deck is stacked in their favor at all. Yes, they agreed, there are lots of single women out there; and yes, they are typically sexually available. But, what these guys so want, and what they assured me their (honest) friends also admit to wanting, is to find a woman who really believes in her man. Who respects him, looks up to him, cares about his work and knows how much of his identity he's built to derive from it. A woman who thinks he can do anything. That, they agreed, is so crucial. And so rare.

That was my biggest takeaway, and something Paul says he hears all the time. Yes, his is a self-selecting group, but it makes sense to me. Relationships today are so geared to a woman's needs -- is he sensitive, does he understand her, does he take care of the kids and listen to her feelings.

Of course, women should be treated well. But in our dialogue on relationships today, there seems to be very little interest in a man's needs.

I've seen lots of advice in the popular culture, for example, about dealing with the "callous" husband who doesn't do enough housework or child care even when he works full time and she is home full or part time. But I can't recall the reverse -- an instance when such a wife was advised to learn about her husband's work and how important it is to him, and to regularly let him know how much she admires him for laboring so hard to support their family.

I've often whined about this trend, which manifests itself in so many ways. It's what I call the feminization of the culture. Paul says it also has to do with the way men are built. He notes that, unlike women, it's typically difficult for men to ask for a need to be met, including "I need you to respect and honor me."

So, Paul said it's not surprising that when a man in our culture finds a woman he is attracted to and who admires him as a man, he typically feels he's found a gem. A rare one.

Anyway, after a few hours, I left the guys to continue with their "studies." I newly appreciated that the numbers don't tell the whole story, that men don't have it so easy after all and that no matter how we distill it down, relationships between men and women will always be wonderfully challenging and mysterious.

And, by the way, Paul also teaches classes for women, including skills for discovering that right guy. I think maybe I'll see if I can drop in on that one next time.

For more information, visit www.doctorpaul.net.

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