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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review August 2, 2013/ 26 Meanachem-Av, 5773

The cost of overmanaging college kids

By Betsy Hart



http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I've long written against the practice of helicopter parenting, or over managing our children's lives. Good grief, I literally wrote a book on the subject. And I admit that some of my children look at their friends' families and then chide me for not being more aggressive about, say, forcing them into rigorous dance classes early in life. I guess I'm the reason my daughters are not on their way to becoming prima ballerinas. OK, I can live with that.

Eventually they may even thank me for encouraging some independence. And by the way, I'm far more involved in my children's lives than my parents ever were in mine. I.e., I will never leave a 16-year-old daughter home alone for a weekend while my husband and I go out of town. I still don't know what my parents were thinking. But I'm getting off topic.

What I do find is that when it comes to college -- especially as my oldest, a son, goes off to school as a freshman in just a few weeks -- I want to get in and manage the situation more fully. I don't know, maybe it's because the stakes and the investment are pretty high. One of the biggest of both being, well, money.

Suddenly, it's like I'm a hovering parent. Registration, orientation, choosing classes, preemptively arranging tutors, finding extra-long bed linens to fit his dorm bed, are all on my to-do list.

Just in time, along comes a study that just as helicopter parenting might have negative implications when kids are young, so too at the college level. A recent piece in FORBES magazine says, "A new national study has found that the more money parents pay for their kids' college educations, the worse their kids tend to perform, at least when it comes to grades."

Uh-oh.

"Want Your Kids to Succeed? Don't Pay for their Education" is the headline of the piece in which Susan Adams looks at a study by Laura Hamilton of the University of California, Merced, discussing these findings.

As I get ready to start writing checks from my 529 college saving plans for my son, I have to admit that looking back, this connection makes some sense. My parents covered every dime of my college expenses, but never even asked for a transcript. (I know, I sound like I was really spoiled. Don't get my four older siblings started on that topic.)


Anyway, somehow, to me that made class attendance seem sort of optional. I guess as long as someone else was paying the bill I didn't feel responsible for what it bought. Maybe it was a little like renting a house instead of buying one: not my problem!

Similarly, The New York Times recently cited this study and another showing that parents who are overinvolved in their children's college life itself, i.e., choosing their courses -- gulp -- also hurt their children's chances of success. (It's The Times which labels these practices "helicoptering.")

I'm doomed.

Or, at least I see I have to back off a little. When it comes to the funding issue, Forbes doesn't suggest I go to Vegas with the college funds. The author does suggest parents make sure one's child knows what is being spent, what the expectations are for the child's performance, and that doing well in school is their "job." Also, the kids should have to get a job or participate in a work-study program, she writes.

OK. Agreed. And for a little more independence, I might even be able to turn over some course selection decisions to my son and his college adviser.

But call me a later-in-parenting life helicopter mom: my child is not picking out his own (and thus ill-fitting!) dorm bed linens.

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