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Jewish World Review July 29, 2010 / 18 Menachem-Av, 5770 Don't stop thinking about today By Betsy Hart
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The attitude of my father, who also grew up fairly poor, was different: Decide what you want today -- a sailboat, for instance -- and use that as the incentive to go out and earn the money for it tomorrow.
I have a feeling there were more than a few financial quarrels there. But somehow the family and the finances seem to have held together.
That was a different era. Now, too many of us are living beyond our means with no means to pay it back. Just this week there were news reports about Americans' increasingly low credit scores. On the other hand, recent headlines also tell us that individuals who do have savings are taking them out of the stock market in droves out of fear.
In light of these crazy economic times, I've been thinking more than ever about this question: Without going the "eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we may die" route, how do I responsibly use the means I have? That is, without holding on so tightly I can't enjoy living, and being generous, right now?
The answer I seem to have grown into over recent years is that I just don't care so much for "stuff" anymore. And, anyway, one can -- technically speaking -- always get that later. Increasingly, what I do care about is relationships and time. That's where, I find, I'll spend my money -- even going into savings to do so.
For instance, my younger girls are playing "ponytail softball" this summer. I said no to buying them cleats, which all the other girls have, when my girls' sneakers would do. That's just stuff.
Yet earlier this summer, I didn't blink at renting a lake house for my children and me instead of saving that money, say, for their college expenses or my retirement. Who knows if my kids and I will be together tomorrow, much less next summer?
And two years ago, I took money out of long-term savings for a really great trip to Disney World for my kids and me. I expected to just gut through the whole Disney experience. I ended up loving every minute. So did they. Our memories of the trip are some of the best of our family life. What an experience together.
Little things -- as long as they build relationships or memories with people I love, like concert tickets or a meal out -- can count as an experience, too. But I can't remember the last time I bought clothes for myself. It was probably at Target. My kids? Most of them, and I, love resale shops. Whew!
I increasingly see giving as an experience, too, one with potentially wonderful and eternal significance. Though I know that's one area where I want -- and need -- to really stretch my character.
Anyway, I'm not suggesting I always get it right when it comes to money. (I've been known to splurge on stuff!) Yes, I do have some college and retirement savings. And I fully appreciate that it's a luxury to even be able to think in these terms at all, as opposed to "How am I going to put food on the table?"
I'm just considering my own situation right now, and living in the most uncertain economic times I can remember. When it comes to money, increasingly asking the big question -- "Is this stuff, or is this a worthwhile experience that will build relationships or help others?" -- helps me navigate in a way that's comfortable.
Bottom line: While being (I hope) financially responsible about tomorrow, I refuse to fear it so much that I don't live fully with those I love in the only time we know we have -- today.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. JWR contributor Betsy Hart, a frequent commentator on CNN and the Fox News Channel, can be reached by clicking here.
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