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Jewish World Review July 19, 2011 / 17 Tamuz, 5771 As a woman ages, she should lighten up By Betsy Hart http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Over the last several months I have gone blond. Well, kind of blond. Light caramel with blond streaks, you might call it. But enough that the change is very noticeable. This is not all-out brassy blond, as I did for a little while when I turned 40, much to the chagrin of my children -- and at least one dear friend who said, "Bets, I don't think that works for you." Love her. That was simply an experiment, perhaps subtle rebellion at entering my 40s. This is self-defense blond. Self-defense against gray. Another good friend my age says, "The decline in gray hair in women has been a net-plus to civilization." As she puts it, going blond is "so easy, so non-surgical." Naturally, this is the same friend who declares that by the time a woman turns 45, she ought to start lying about her age five years ahead. Her point is that if you lie backwards, you will inevitably be compared with, say, real 40-year-olds. Who wants that at 45? Much better to say that you are 50. Then it's, "Oh my gosh, you look fantastic!" My mother put it slightly differently when she said, "I don't want to look young for my age, I want to look good for my age." She also maintained until the end that in every woman's life there are the "maintenance years, the high-maintenance years and then the replacement years." I miss her. Anyway, here's the thing: I started going gray when I was 25. I received comments even then about how young I was to have the gray hair that I did. I didn't mind it so much because I was obviously too young for my gray. It's when you are not obviously too young for your gray that it's time to get serious about it. I fought it for many years as I sought to stay dark. But either it got expensive or time-consuming -- or when I tried to take things into my own hands, my hair got that inky blue-black look, not unlike Morticia Addams'. I finally looked around and realized that so many women I know, my age or a little older, who had once had dark hair no longer did. So, age really does bring some wisdom: as in, gray is just so much less noticeable in blond hair. And gray should be fought in all things, says my good friend. Except in furniture, where it is quite chic. The prospect of lightening began. I had learned from my days as a brassy blonde (well, more like a few months) what not to do. This was going to be my phase as a mature blonde. Like I said, age and wisdom and all that. I actually wasn't planning on any dramatic change. But I guess a little blond can go a long way. And now I'm fully "light caramel." Even my children approve. And the one who warned me away from the brassy look a few years ago? She loves this blond me. I do love her. Yep. So easy, so non-surgical. So, do blondes really have more fun? It's hard to say. At least for me, since I've always been pretty good at having fun, I do know that a fairly dramatic change like this at my -- ahem -- age is certainly quite enjoyable. I also know it's hard to get more superficial than worrying about one's hair color. Not impossible, mind you; just hard. But what the heck. It's like painting a wall in your home a dramatic new color. Which I also do from time to time. So easy, but so much difference. And done right, rather exciting. It just seems to me that with all the serious things one has to consider in life, sometimes it's simply fun to be able to, well, lighten up a little. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. JWR contributor Betsy Hart, a frequent commentator on CNN and the Fox News Channel, can be reached by clicking here. BUY BETSY'S BOOK "It Takes a Parent : How the Culture of Pushover Parenting is Hurting Our Kids — and What to Do About It"   "Hart urges parents to focus...on instilling industry, frugality, sincerity and humility. She encourages parents to reclaim the word "no." Contrary to advice you may have received, you needn't give your child choices, or offer alternatives, or explain to little Suzie why she can't eat eight cookies right before bed-you're the parent, and sometimes you can just say no."   —   Kirkus Reports Sales help fund JWR. Betsy Hart Archives © 2007, Scripps Howard News Servic

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