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Jewish World Review July 14, 2010 / 3 Menachem-Av, 5770 Case against wedlock makes a plea for it By Betsy Hart http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Some time after I became single again, I shared with a long-married friend my desire to remarry. She was surprised. "But, you have what women get married for! Children, means and the status of having been married. Why do it again?" Ever the skeptic -- and yes, with a wicked wit I might add -- even her comments weren't nearly as cynical as those in "I Don't: The Case Against Marriage," in Newsweek magazine recently: "Once upon a time, marriage made sense. It was how women ensured their financial security, got the fathers of their children to stick around, and gained access to a host of legal rights. But 40 years after the feminist movement established our rights in the workplace, a generation after the divorce rate peaked, and a decade after 'Sex and the City' made singledom chic, marriage is -- from a legal and practical standpoint, anyway -- no longer necessary." So argued Jessica Bennett and Jesse Ellison, (heterosexual) women in their late 20s and early 30s, in their provocative essay. These women at least had the sense to admit the possibility they are too young to know what they are talking about. Good thing, too. Though marriage rates have plummeted, recent surveys show that some 80 percent of young adults still say they expect to marry someday, with 90 percent of those intending to stay married for life. But the fact that such a high percentage of young people still say they want to, expect to, get married and stay married when they don't really "need" to might ironically be something of a positive sign for all of us. Apparently all the changed social mores in the world can't change that fundamental desire most of us have to marry. So sure I want to marry again. I used to say after my divorce that I wasn't looking to fall passionately in love and go through all that nonsense, I just wanted to have been happily married for 10 years! While the former sentiment has been overtaken by events, and the latter hasn't happened yet, I still believe it will. My skeptical friend can say what she wants, but she wouldn't trade places with me for a minute and she knows it. So ironically I suppose I'm far less cynical than my younger never-married colleagues from Newsweek, who wrote "I Don't." I don't think that Bennett and Ellison will agree with what they wrote in Newsweek 10 years from now. I'm not even sure they fully believe it today. Yes, I'm still worried about the institution of marriage. But in an unexpected way, I'm more encouraged now because "The Case Against Marriage" actually helped make the case for it. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. JWR contributor Betsy Hart, a frequent commentator on CNN and the Fox News Channel, can be reached by clicking here. BUY BETSY'S BOOK "It Takes a Parent : How the Culture of Pushover Parenting is Hurting Our Kids — and What to Do About It"   "Hart urges parents to focus...on instilling industry, frugality, sincerity and humility. She encourages parents to reclaim the word "no." Contrary to advice you may have received, you needn't give your child choices, or offer alternatives, or explain to little Suzie why she can't eat eight cookies right before bed-you're the parent, and sometimes you can just say no."   —   Kirkus Reports Sales help fund JWR. Betsy Hart Archives © 2007, Scripps Howard News Servic

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