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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Jan. 17, 2013/ 6 Shevat, 5773

For traditional families, 'The Bachelor' can be must-see TV

By Betsy Hart



http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | As the new season of "The Bachelor" launched this week, I was roped in to watching with my 16-year-old daughter, Tori.

For the entire two hours I kept my eyes riveted on the show. And about eight times I looked at her and said, "Never, ever do this!"

Yes, I admit that Sean ("The Bachelor") is attractive. He actually seems like a really nice guy. But the thought of seeing one of my daughters competing along with a couple dozen other young women for a fellow is just ... horrifying.

It's not just the cattiness that comes out as they tear each other down. (You can just see some of these girls want to scratch each other's eyes out.) It's watching them get sexually aggressive and so degrade themselves by chasing this fellow. They are ready to make out with him knowing that on his next date he'll be doing the same with someone else.

Ick.

I know, I know: Watching the show was a little like watching a train wreck. It is sort of repulsive and gripping all at the same time.

The wildly popular show is full of all sorts of gauzy, romantic overtures. Though at the same time this season opener had some bizarre ones, including a woman on a date with Sean jumping off a building with him. Another woman, having a prank played on her, thought that she had destroyed a piece of art costing $1.5 million. That was weird.

But what is really strange is that despite all the wine, candles and extravagant dates, the endgame is that these couplings, after the "winner" has clawed her way to the top, almost never work out. In fact, after 24 seasons of "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette," there have been lots of engagements followed by lots of breakups. But after all those seasons, there have been a grand total of two marriages.

Two.

So why do women get so pulled into this franchise even as they are faced with the truth that these "matchups" almost never work? (The audiences for "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette" are overwhelmingly female.) Because women love to over-romanticize relationships, even when they know that the romance, as fun as it is, doesn't typically provide long-term relationship power.

What's so ironic is that one key relationship-health predictor is almost entirely absent from "The Bachelor": That when a man is interested in a woman, he will pursue her.

Scott Stanley, co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver, explained to me that throughout history, because only a woman can get pregnant, finding a man who would openly pursue her gave her an added sense of security that would prove supportive throughout the relationship and as children came along.

To that end, "The Bachelorette" is a little more traditional, as the woman is the one pursued by a couple dozen men. But, frankly, I find that game, with that many guys over a long period of time, fairly emasculating, which is probably why that audience is also so dominated by women.

So when it comes to "The Bachelor," it seems that women hold onto what doesn't work -- gauzy "romantic pornography," I call it. At the same time, they, too, often don't hold out for one key relationship predictor that is shown to work over the long term: a man pursuing a woman in a real-life context.

I don't know if I will continue watching "The Bachelor" with Tori. She claims to know it's all nonsense, but she wants to watch it anyway.

I do know I will continue saying, "Never, ever do this!"

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