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Jewish World Review Nov. 1, 2013 / 29 Mar-Cheshvan, 5774 The News in Zingers By Argus Hamilton
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
• Dr. Conrad Murray was released from prison in California after serving two years for accidentally killing Michael Jackson with sleep drug medications. He said he expects to get his medical license back within the month. And you thought ObamaCare was a mess before.
• West Hollywood held a Halloween parade on Santa Monica Boulevard last night that drew three hundred thousand revelers. They were mostly young adults. The grand prize for scariest costume went to a guy who dressed up as the bill for your new health care plan.
• House Republicans took turns blasting away at Kathleen Sibelius over the ObamaCare rollout fiasco Wednesday. They should relax. If Republicans really want to get rid of Obamacare they should endorse it as a conservative non-profit and let the IRS take it down.
• British merchant ships drove away Somali pirates Monday by blaring Britney Spears songs over the loudspeaker as they approached. She's doing fine and her baby's doing fine and her husband isn't doing anything. It probably reminds the pirates it's time to go home.
• President Obama's Facebook account Tuesday was successfully hacked by the Syrian Electronic Army. That was very risky. Ten years ago the Syrian Electronic Army hacked into President Bush's White House website and he retaliated by overthrowing Radio Shack.
• Michelle Obama enlisted schoolkids Wednesday to harvest the White House Kitchen Garden. She was teaching them a lesson in community responsibility. If you are going to score ten pounds of candy on Halloween night it costs you two hours of community service.
• Kanye West said his fiancee Kim Kardashian belonged on the cover of Vogue this month instead of Michelle Obama because Kim's more popular. It's not too late. Somebody needs to tell Kanye West that it's not bad luck to postpone a wedding, as long as you keep doing it.
• The Justice Department tried to force the JP Morgan Chase bank to admit liability for the real estate crash five years ago, opening the door to class action suits. Democrats will do everything they can for trial lawyers. In Boston Wednesday, President Obama assured women that under ObamaCare if they like their husbands, they get to keep their husbands.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements. Comment by clicking here.
© 2011, Argus Hamilton |
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