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Jewish World Review Aug. 6, 1999 /24 Av 5759

Don Feder

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Econophone

Mommy made him do it, Hillary says

http://www.jewishworldreview.com -- LET'S SEE IF I'VE GOT THIS STRAIGHT: According to the first facilitator, the reason her husband (the fornicator in chief) acts like a jackrabbit during mating season is because his mother and granny didn't get along?

Yes, the president was "scarred" by childhood abuse, Hillary Clinton discloses -- not sexual abuse or physical abuse, but the psychological trauma of being subjected to feuding females.

At age 4, the future fraternity pledge was cared for by his grandmother while his mother studied nursing. Reportedly, the women fought over who would raise the child.

"A boy being in the middle of a conflict between two women is the worst possible situation," Sigmund Rodham theorized. "There's always a desire to please each one."

Is the first therapist telling us that an obsessive need to gratify women led her hubby to -- never miss an opportunity to get a "little strange"; as governor of Arkansas, use his state trooper bodyguards as procurers; commit rape in a Little Rock hotel room 21 years ago (if Juanita Broaddrick is to be believed); and put the moves on a federal employee while he occupied the highest office in the land.

That's a lot of mileage from a little emotional trauma.

The first feminist is also slandering Virginia Clinton (who isn't here to defend herself), by falling back on the oldest excuse in the book -- mommy made him do it. Simone De Beauvoir must be spinning in her grave.

Even the most shameless administration in history was embarrassed by Hillary's assertion. White House Press Secretary Joe Lockhart admitted that while his boss wasn't an abuse victim, he did have "difficult issues" growing up. (Unlike the rest of us.)

Some see self-interest in Hillary's revelation to Talk magazine. Bill's philandering -- and the fact that she provided cover for him through all of his scandals -- could come back to haunt her. Eventually, voters may come to resent her for helping to keep a thoroughly corrupt man in the presidency.

The lady now offers an alternate theory to the one that goes: She did it because she lusts for power the way he lusts. No, Mrs. Clinton is saying, she stood by her man because she knew he couldn't help himself -- the company of women made him the lecher that we know and she claims to love.

But then, how explain the information in the just-published book "Bill and Hillary,The Marriage"? According to author Christopher Andersen, when Mrs Clinton learned of one infidelity, the resident White House shrink beaned her errant boy with an ashtray.

When the president confessed his involvement with Monica Lewinsky to Hillary, Andersen relates, she slapped him in the face hard enough to leave a red mark visible to Secret Service agents when he left the room. Was the first lady blaming the victim? Tell me it ain't so!

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When Mrs. Clinton's abuse excuse is derided to death, here are a few other victimization theories she can advance.

1) The fat, awkward high-school kid syndrome. As an adolescent tub, Clinton suffered rejection trauma -- girls with class wouldn't date him. Now he's compensating for that hurt by chasing skirt.

2) The Vietnam draft-dodger anxiety syndrome. Clinton was traumatized not by service in Southeast Asia, but by the prospect of being called on to fight. All of the tension built up when he was studying at Oxford and lying to the commander of the University of Arkansas ROTC program found release in a 30-year sexual binge.

3) The Camelot-envy syndrome. Ever since he shook hands with JFK in 1963, Clinton has had a New Frontier-obsession. Our poor, misguided president was subconsciously imitating his fallen idol. Since he couldn't touch John F. Kennedy's rhetoric or charisma, he tried to outdo his hero in the one area where he may have the edge.

Hillary will certainly need another rationale. Again, according to Andersen's book, when Bill confessed his liaison with Monica, Hillary shrieked at him: "You stupid, stupid bastard. My G-d, Bill, how could you risk everything for that?"

Not, "Bill, how could you betray me?" Not: "Bill, I understand that this is merely a manifestation of the childhood abuse you suffered. I forgive you." But, You moron, you risked "everything" (the co-presidency, our joint power) because you can't keep it zipped.

In Hillary Rodham Clinton, we may have found someone who sinks below Washington's abysmal standards. She may actually be too loathsome to serve in the Senate.

JWR contributing columnist Don Feder can be reached by clicking here.


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©1999, Creators Syndicate