
 |
|
Nov. 20, 2009
Nov. 19, 2009
Jonathan Tobin: ADL Crosses the Line with Report Bashing Obama Critics
Nov. 18, 2009
JWisdom.com: The (Jewish) Dating Game
with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (8 minutes)
Nov. 17, 2009
Steven Emerson: How Does the 4th Amendment Impact Terror Finance Investigations?
JWisdom.com: If Frank Sinatra married Edith Piaf
with Rabbi Y.Y. Rubinstein (2 minutes) Life lessons from what would be regarded as the most inappropriate lyrics ever sung
Nov. 16, 2009
JWisdom.com: Deconstructing faith
with Rabbi Warren Goldstein (9 minutes)
Nov. 13, 2009
JWisdom.com Sarah's subjective reality
with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 6 minutes)
Nov. 12, 2009
JWisdom.com Does God get tired?
with Rabbi Harvey Belovski ( 5 minutes)
Nov. 11, 2009
JWisdom.com Marriages are not made in Heaven
with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (VERY fast 15 minutes)
Nov. 10, 2009
Michael Doyle: Author of book exposing CAIR ordered to remove supporting documents from Web
JWisdom.com If the creation so loudly shouts the existence of the Creator, why aren't more people believers? with Rabbi Naftali Brawer (9 minutes)
Nov. 9, 2009
Mark Steyn: Shooter exposes hole
in U.S. terror strategy
JWisdom.com It's never too late to
have a happy childhood with Sarah Chana Radcliffe (5 minutes)
Nov. 6, 2009
JWisdom.com Zero to 1/60th: How
to Empower An Hour with Gavriel Aryeh Sande (7 minutes)
Nov. 5, 2009
JWisdom.com Hidden Hints: Unlocking
Faith & Prayer with Rabbi Jay Yaacov Schwartz (10 minutes)
Nov. 4, 2009
JWisdom.com When God played peacemaker
With Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Nov. 3, 2009
JWisdom.com Are you are closet idolater?
With Sara Yoheved Rigler (10 minutes)
Nov. 2, 2009
JWisdom.com Abraham's Strange Change
With Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer (5 minutes)
|
| |
Jewish World Review
Dec. 5, 2008
/ 8 Kislev 5769
Things are tough all over
By
Greg Crosby
| 
|
|
|
|
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The worldwide financial crisis is now officially underway. Make sure you do your holiday shopping early - while you still have money. Yes, Wall Street is broken, Main Street is broke, and Easy Street is getting harder all the time. But if you think you got it bad, check out these recent REAL stories that are happening all around the globe. Then you can file this column in the "things are tough all over" department.
So how bad is the global financial crisis? Reuters reports that it's so bad that Russians are cutting back on vodka. Stockpiles of Russia's national drink were six times higher at the start of the month than the same time a year ago because factories are producing vodka faster than they can sell it. And Russians are trying to save their money, including booze money, because of the financial crunch on people's disposable incomes.
Research conducted by the National Alcohol Association showed deaths from alcohol poisonings in September increased to 1,458 -- the result, it said, of some Russians turning to dangerous vodka substitutes as they try to find a cheaper way of getting bombed. Better hide the shaving lotion and rubbing alcohol, comrade. Better hide the varnish, tovarish …at least until the economy turns around.
It's said that Russians consume the equivalent of 15 liters of pure alcohol per head each year. Man that's a lot of Stoli. "The government has to do something for these people trying to afford the most basic essentials in life," a Russian spokesman said. WHAT? "The most basics essentials in life?" Are they kidding?
Well, it's time to run out to the market and pick up a few basic staples for the week - let's see, we'll need bread, milk, a couple of bottles of vodka… Seems hard to understand until you realize that the name "vodka" is the Russian diminutive of the word for "water." Maybe that's the problem right there - the Russians have been thinking they were drinking water all this time!
But if you think the Russians have it tough, listen to this. Germany is running out of qualified Santa Clauses and needs to recruit and train them fast, a leading job agency says. This year there is an acute shortage of Santas to entertain children at shopping centers, Christmas markets and private parties. Germans are trying to shut out the financial crisis by taking comfort in traditional festivities, and now there are not enough Santas to go around. Ach der lieber!
A job recruiting spokesman in Munich said that it isn't easy to find qualified Santas. The qualifications are pretty stringent. Among other things a person needs to be child-friendly, organized, reliable, and have a clean police record. I guess those things are rare commodities in Germany these days. Maybe they should think about outsourcing. If they do, they might try the North Pole for starters.
Did you hear what happened to the mayor of Birmingham, Alabama? Well, he was arrested by the FBI on a wide variety of federal charges including conspiracy, bribery, fraud, money laundering, and filing false income tax returns. "Hiz Honor's" name is Larry Langford, and he's named in a 101 count indictment that alleges criminal activity while he was a county commissioner. Merry Christmas, Your Honor! With any luck at all you'll be eating your plum pudding in an orange jump suit.
And now we come to the saddest story of the week. Rosie O'Donnell's new NBC variety show, "Rosie Live" had a total viewer ship of only 5 million for its premier broadcast. The show, needless to say, has been dropped from the network's schedule. The program learned a 1.2 preliminary rating among adults 18-49. I believe the only show in the history of broadcasting to have a lower rating was "Bowling for Walnuts with Dennis James" sometime around 1962.
Just what is our country coming to when a sweet, demure soft-spoken all American girl like Rosie O'Donnell can't get a hit show? It makes me want to cry. I think I will. Oh, boo hoo. Boo, hoo. Boo, hoo, HA,HA, HA! Oops, sorry. The HA,HA,HA part slipped out by mistake.
So there you are. And you thought YOU had it bad, eh? Be thankful you don't live in Russia or Germany, or Alabama, or with Rosie O'Donnell. Like I told you, things are tough all over - especially for Russians, Germans, crooked politicians and nasty little blowhards.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. A freelance writer in Southern California, you may contact him by clicking here.
Greg Crosby Archives
© 2008, Greg Crosby
|
|

Arnold Ahlert
Mitch Albom
Michael Barone
Dave Barry
Tony Blankley
Andy Borowitz
David Broder
Stratfor Briefing
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Suzanne Fields
John Fund
Frank J. Gaffney
Lloyd Garver
Jonah Goldberg
Julia Gorin
Jonathan Gurwitz
Paul Greenberg
Lewis Grossberger
Victor Davis Hanson
Betsy Hart
Nat Hentoff
David Horowitz
Laura Ingraham
Cheri Jacobus Jeff Jacoby
Paul Johnson
Jack Kelly
Ed Koch
Ch. Krauthammer
Michael Ledeen
John Leo
David Limbaugh
Kathryn Lopez
Rich Lowry
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Dick Morris
Bill O'Reilly
Jim Mullen
Clarence Page
Kathleen Parker
Dennis Prager
Wesley Pruden
Tom Purcell
Jonathan Rauch
Celia Rivenbark
Robert Robb
Cokie & Steve Roberts
Pat Sajak
Debra J. Saunders
Culture Shlock
Roger Simon
Michael Smerconish
Thomas Sowell
Mark Steyn
John Stossel
Cal Thomas
Bob Tyrrell
Diana West
Dave Weinbaum
George Will
Walter Williams
Byron York
Mort Zuckerman

Robert Arial
Chuck Asay
Baloo
Chip Bok
Dry Bones
Lisa Benson
John Branch
Gary Brookins
John Cole
J. D. Crowe
John Deering
Brian Duffy
Everything's Relative
Mallard Fillmore
Jake Fuller
Bob Gorrel
Joe Heller
David Hitch
Jerry Holber
Steve Kelley
Jeff Koterba
Dick Locher
Chan Lowe
Ranan R. Lurie
Jimmy Margulies
Rick McKee
Michael Ramirez
Kevin Siers
Jeff Stahler
Ed Stein
Danna Summers
John Trever
Gary Varvel
Kirk Walters

How 2
Lori Borgman
The Savvy Consumer
Elder matters
Fixit
Dr. Peter Gott
GET A JOB! by Marty Nemko
Richard Lederer
Tech Maven
Every Monday Matters
Nutrition Myths
Bookmark These
Bruce Williams
How Stuff Works
|