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Nov. 6, 2009
Rabbi Berel Wein: Choosing to hear
JWisdom.com Zero to 1/60th: How to Empower An Hour with Gavriel Aryeh Sande (7 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick The mullahs' big week
Suzanne Fields A Fallen Wall for Fallen Man
Nov. 5, 2009
The Kosher Gourmet: Three scrumptious -- but simple -- butternut squash dishes
JWisdom.com Hidden Hints: Unlocking Faith & Prayer with Rabbi Jay Yaacov Schwartz (10 minutes)
Nov. 4, 2009
Tom Hamburger and Kim Geiger: Should prayers be covered?
JWisdom.com When God played peacemaker With Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Nov. 3, 2009
Martin Peretz: Beware, Barack. Beware, Rahm. Beware, Axelrod
JWisdom.com Are you are closet idolater? With Sara Yoheved Rigler (10 minutes)
Nov. 2, 2009
Paul Greenberg: The Holocaust is now on Facebook
JWisdom.com Abraham's Strange Change With Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer (5 minutes)
Oct. 30, 2009
Rabbi David Aaron: Secret to Immortality
Caroline B. Glick Silencing dissent in America
Oct. 29, 2009
Lini S. Kadaba: Do tactics avert flu or reduce humanity?
JWisdom.com We Must Revamp our Religious Vocabulary With Gavriel Aryeh Sanders ( 10 minutes)
Oct. 28, 2009
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Atheists in Bubbleland
JWisdom.com Why what we wear impacts who we are With Rabbis Mordechai Becher, Menachem Golberger and Aliza Bulow ( 10 minutes)
Oct. 27, 2009
Paul Greenberg: The United Nations Is Outraged Again, Or: Department of Mideast Static
JWisdom.com The Science of Love With Rabbi Jonathan Rietti ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 26, 2009
The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Damaging disclosures with a twist
JWisdom.com Wisdom and Wonks With Rabbi Eytan Feiner ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 23, 2009
Rabbi David Aaron: Are you ready for the ultimate pleasure?
JWisdom.com Watermark and oneness with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 4 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick Stop using limited powers in a way that expands our enemies' advantages over us
Oct. 22, 2009
Steven Emerson: Terror Cases Share Desire to Kill Americans
JWisdom.com No More More Family Fights --- Really? By Sarah Chana Radcliffe ( 5 minutes)
Oct. 21, 2009
Tonya Alanez: Holocaust denier sues survivor, calling Auschwitz memoir 'vicious lies'
JWisdom.com Meditating Jewishly: A Panacea for Success by Sarah Yoheved Rigler ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 20, 2009
Dennis Prager: Obama and Dalai Lama: Why Israel Worries about U.S. President
JWisdom.com Abraham was not religious By Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer ( 6 minutes)
Oct. 19, 2009
JWisdom.comWhy Good People Do Bad Things By Rabbi Eytan Feiner ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 16, 2009
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The Perfect Number
JWisdom.com Hearing Voices By Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 5 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick How Turkey was lost
Oct. 15, 2009
Jeff Jacoby: Peace vs. the 'peace process'
JWisdom.com: Former MTV producer and stand-up comedian Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff: Taming a Control Freak (A VERY fast 15 minutes)
Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review Nov. 5, 2007 / 24 Mar-Cheshvan 5768

Going to the Dogs

By Greg Crosby


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Just in time for the holidays, comes the latest way to turn your sweet, innocent, lovable pet into a full-fledged canine version of a human spoiled brat. Ridiculously expensive fragrance products for dogs are now being sold in high-end department and specialty stores from coast to coast. The only thing that surprises me about this, is that it took so long for it to come about. It was bound to happen sooner or later as the trend of people treating their pets as though they are human beings gets more and more common place.


The stuff is being hawked as "couture canine fragrance and care items" and can be had at places like Bloomingdales, Saks, Nordstrom's, and even Macy's. These products are packaged just like women's lotions, colognes, and other beauty items; in cut glass bottles, sprays, and jars. If you didn't read the labels carefully, you might mistakenly buy this stuff for your girl friend. (I said "girl friend" not "cur" friend.)


"A fetching new fragrance" the headline reads in true ad copy hype. "Juicy Crittoure, a collection for the seriously pampered dog" takes almost a full page of ad space in the main section of the Los Angeles Times and features such products as Pawtection softening paw balm, 1.7 oz., $28; Shampooch shampoo, 8 oz., $25; Pawfum fragrance, 1 oz., $60; Soft Spot coat conditioning mist, 8 oz., $20; and Coif Fur moisturizing conditioner, 8 oz., $25. (To put this in perspective, my Old Spice cost me about $5 for 7 oz. and it lasts me all year.)


It all reads like a gag, but at those prices, it's no joke, believe me. And if you don't think there are plenty of well to do people in Beverly Hills, Park Avenue, Palm Beach, and other parts of this country that will happily shell out that kind of jack for this baloney, then you don't know what Americans with too much disposable cash are truly capable of - especially when it comes to their pets.


Listen, no one loves dogs more than I do, but I'm sorry, there's a sickness to humanizing them to this degree. It has been going on for a long time now and seems to be only getting worse. We can begin with the idiots who dress dogs up in clothing for starters - not only do they humanize them, they humiliate them at the same time. Nothing takes the dignity out of an Irish Setter faster than doing him up in a Santa Claus suit with the long white beard and jingle bell hat.


If you think that's cute, how about the clowns who dress up their dogs in trench coats and goulashes when it rains? Or put little dresses on them? And in the summertime I've even seen sunglasses and bikinis on dogs - can it get any creepier than that? People that do these things to dogs need to get into playing with dolls and just leave the poor dumb animals alone.


I knew we were in trouble when terms such as "animal companion" took the place of the term "pet." And when pet owners started to refer to themselves as "non-human animal caregivers" it suddenly turned normal dogs and cats into bizarre sounding disabled creatures in need of assistance. People don't even call their pets by "pet names" anymore. When was the last time you heard Fido, or Spot, or Rover?


The most popular dog name in North America today is Sam, the second most popular is Max. Other popular dog names are Molly, Brandy, Ginger, and Taffy. When I was a kid Sam and Max were a couple of Jewish guys who operated a deli on the corner, Molly was a waitress, and Brandy, Ginger and Taffy were strippers in a burlesque house down the street.


When people name their kids after fruits and vegetables and earth tones, it's no wonder dogs and cats get all the human names today. Psychologically, it's probably a whole lot easier to spend $28 bucks on perfume for your dog when he has a human name. You might buy moisturizing lotion for "Sammy," but not for "Fido."


Call me old fashioned, but I just can't see naming my dog Irving or Leonard and spending more money on his perfume than I spend on my aftershave lotion.

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JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. A freelance writer in Southern California, you may contact him by clicking here.

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© 2006, Greg Crosby

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