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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review July 6, 2007 / 20 Tamuz 5767

Call it Quits

By Greg Crosby


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The Sopranos are off the air (as far as new episodes are concerned, of course reruns will go on for centuries) and Martin Scorsese hasn't made any new Italian crime family pictures in awhile, which is to say that many fans are probably going through Mafia withdrawal pains. To easy the pain a bit, here's a list of hit-man terms for killing a person. See how many you know. Whack, Hit, Clock, Nail, Cap, Clop, Stiff, Snuff, Clip, Waste, Ice, Pop, Do, Off, Croak. Then we have the "down" terms; Cut down and Blow down. Followed by the "out" terms; Take out and Rub out. Then the ever-popular "off" terms; Knock off, Bump off, Blip off, and Chill off. So many ways to say, "kill" and so little time.


And while we're on the morbid subject of death think of all the expressions with the word "dead" in them that we use in our daily lives. "Dead to rights," dead tired," "deadbeat," "dead as a doornail," "dead duck," dead-end," "dead between the ears," dead giveaway," "dead to the world," "dead shot,' "dead time," "deadhead," deadpan," "deadeye," "dead ringer" "dead letter," "dead of night,"


For many decades, actors have used terms of death to describe audience reactions to their performances. "I killed them last night." "The show bombed." "They were laid out in the aisles." "His routine died." "Dead air." "This will really slay "em." "This joke will kill ya."


Lots of people don't like using the word "death" or died," it upsets them. Maybe the word is a bit too final. A little too graphically frank. Euphemisms for death are many and used all the time, used possibly more than the word death itself. Raymond Chandler used a couple for two of his novels, "The Big Sleep," and "The Long Goodbye." "Pass away" is the term most used, I would imagine, although I don't like it myself — it sounds too much like what it is, a cute inoffensive way of avoiding the word die. Recently I saw a show where a character said, in response to someone who had referred to a person as having "passed away," "He didn't pass away, he didn't pass on, he didn't pass over, he didn't pass through, he didn't pass out, he DIED!"


"Going to one's reward" assumes that one did something wonderful which would entitle them to a reward of some kind. How many of us really deserve an award for simply being born? "Kicking the bucket" or "kicked off" is too crude. "Buying the farm" "bite the dust," "cash in one's chips," are all too glib. And just saying "gone," is too obscure. "Expired" isn't too bad, I suppose, except for the fact that it reduces the death of a human being to the fate of a parking meter. For better or worse, died is the word to use, I think.


Google the word "die" on the Internet and you get 1,680,000,000 results. Google "death" and you get 369,000,000 results. This tells me that someone could probably spend the rest their life just looking up death on the web.


The Internet has a web site called Death Clock which is, as they state, "The internet's friendly reminder that life is slipping away." On the home page of the thing there is a way to determine how much time you have left to live. You give them your day, month, and year of birth, your sex, whether you smoke or not, your mental outlook, and your body mass index and presto — they will tell you the day you will die. In my case it is October 24th, 2022. They even give how many seconds of life you have left. I had, at the time I did this, exactly 484,200,976 seconds to go. The scary thing is that you actually watch the seconds of your life tick off on the little tote board gizmo. Weird. Yes, you can find out anything on the Internet.


Okay, here's a last laugh for you. A waiter dies and his wife is understandably distressed. One day she encounters someone who assures her that she can speak to her beloved husband through a medium. She is, of course, delighted with the prospect, and an appointment is made. The wife visits the medium and the séance begins. She presses both hands on the table and calls out, "Sam … Sam, speak to me!" A haunting breeze blows through, a whistling noise follows and then a faint voice cries out, "I can't — it's not my table!"


Live and be well until next week.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.


JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. A freelance writer in Southern California, you may contact him by clicking here.

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© 2006, Greg Crosby

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