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May 24, 2012
Jeff Jacoby: The peace process battered Israel's reputation
Michael Muskal: 'Pro-choice' position hits record low, according to poll
Chris Farrell: Are We in a Tech Bubble?
The Kosher Gourmet by Penelope Wall: PHILLY CHEESE STEAKS --- hold the steak!
May 23, 2012
Tony Pugh: More private colleges offering tuition discounts
Mary Beth Franklin: How to Choose the Right Annuity for You
Tina Susman: The wig wasn't enough: Man gets 13 years for posing as his dead mom
The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen:A simple way to do fish right
May 22, 2012
Warren Richey: Can US group challenge overseas surveillance act? Supreme Court to decide
Thomas M. Anderson: Walking Away From a Mortgage
The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon: Enjoy a celebration of the most rich and layered flavors: Black bean, sweet potato and quinoa chili
May 21, 2012
Mark Clayton: Cybersecurity: How US utilities passed up chance to protect their networks
Howard LaFranchi: NATO summit: Who will foot the bill for long-term Afghanistan security?
Chris Farrell : Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF
Stephen Whiteside, Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Social anxiety disorder --- or just shy?
Guy Jackson : Victim's father regrets death of Lockerbie bomber
The Kosher Gourmet by Mario Batali: Famed chef's veal shoulder farsumagru: A festive meat course for late spring
May 18, 2012
Rabbi Berel Wein: Striving: The People of the Book's Book for (All of) the People
Steven Goldberg: 5 Great Stock Picks and the Exchange-Traded Fund that Owns Them
Mary Pickett, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Don't be forced into gluten-free lifestyle based merely on a doctor's false-positive test
The Kosher Gourmet by Carolyn Malcoun: DIY healthy lunchbox treats: HOMEMADE FRUIT BARS for kids and brown-bagging adults alike
May 17, 2012
Warren Richey: Teacher fired for being unwed and pregnant can sue religious school, court rules
Josh Mitnick: Netanyahu's 'centrist' coalition is already proving it's anything but
Steven Goldberg: Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF
Amina Khan: Research links coffee to lower death rates
The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Duran : Cheesy Potato Breakfast Casserole with Cheddar and Sun-Dried Tomatoes
May 16, 2012
Carmen Terzic, M.D., Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: A variety of exercises can help improve balance
Melissa Healy: National strategy on Alzheimer's disease aims to halt it by 2025
The Kosher Gourmet by Joyce White : GOODNESS GRACIOUS: GREENS! 4 winning recipes that are no longer just for down-home folks (Includes expert tips & techniques)
May 15, 2012
Kristen Chick: Obama administration resumes arms sales to Bahrain despite serious unresolved human rights issues. Activists feel abandoned
Pat Mertz Esswein: Homes are now affordable again and mortgage rates are low. What you need to know before you buy
Kathy Kristof: Our Practical Investor Fights Inflation with These 6 Investments
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May 14, 2012
Lisa Gerstner: How to Protect Your Identity, Finances If You Lose Your Phone
Harvard Health Letters: Heart disease and dementia
The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon: MANGO COCONUT OAT MORNING MUFFINS are a bright but hearty delight
May 11, 2012
Jessica L. Anderson: Get the Best Deal on a Used Car
Jett Stone: Forget face-lifts and fake knees. Scientists have seen the fountain of youth --- and it's broccoli
The Kosher Gourmet by Chef Mario Batali: The famed chef's vegetable dish that tastes true to the season: FAVAS AND SUGAR SNAP PEAS WITH POTATOES AND TARRAGON
May 10, 2012
Sergei L. Loiko: Putin sends warning to U.S., NATO in Victory Day speech at Red Square
Mary Rourke: How being a 'mentch' got Vidal Sasoon his start and fighting in Israel's War of Independence provided him with confidence and a strong sense of his own identity
Jeff Bertolucci: Get Home Phone Service for Less Than $10 a Month
The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom: Gleaming with its golden, crimson, and snowy white hues, this silken smooth and creamy STRAWBERRY ORANGE TRIFLE looks impressive, but is easy to prepare
May 9, 2012
Sharon Palmer, R.D. How you can reduce your risk -- or delay -- chronic diseases associated with aging
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Jewish World Review
July 6, 2007
/ 20 Tamuz 5767
Call it Quits
By
Greg Crosby
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The Sopranos are off the air (as far as new episodes are concerned, of course reruns will go on for centuries) and Martin Scorsese hasn't made any new Italian crime family pictures in awhile, which is to say that many fans are probably going through Mafia withdrawal pains. To easy the pain a bit, here's a list of hit-man terms for killing a person. See how many you know. Whack, Hit, Clock, Nail, Cap, Clop, Stiff, Snuff, Clip, Waste, Ice, Pop, Do, Off, Croak. Then we have the "down" terms; Cut down and Blow down. Followed by the "out" terms; Take out and Rub out. Then the ever-popular "off" terms; Knock off, Bump off, Blip off, and Chill off. So many ways to say, "kill" and so little time.
And while we're on the morbid subject of death think of all the expressions with the word "dead" in them that we use in our daily lives. "Dead to rights," dead tired," "deadbeat," "dead as a doornail," "dead duck," dead-end," "dead between the ears," dead giveaway," "dead to the world," "dead shot,' "dead time," "deadhead," deadpan," "deadeye," "dead ringer" "dead letter," "dead of night,"
For many decades, actors have used terms of death to describe audience reactions to their performances. "I killed them last night." "The show bombed." "They were laid out in the aisles." "His routine died." "Dead air." "This will really slay "em." "This joke will kill ya."
Lots of people don't like using the word "death" or died," it upsets them. Maybe the word is a bit too final. A little too graphically frank. Euphemisms for death are many and used all the time, used possibly more than the word death itself. Raymond Chandler used a couple for two of his novels, "The Big Sleep," and "The Long Goodbye." "Pass away" is the term most used, I would imagine, although I don't like it myself it sounds too much like what it is, a cute inoffensive way of avoiding the word die. Recently I saw a show where a character said, in response to someone who had referred to a person as having "passed away," "He didn't pass away, he didn't pass on, he didn't pass over, he didn't pass through, he didn't pass out, he DIED!"
"Going to one's reward" assumes that one did something wonderful which would entitle them to a reward of some kind. How many of us really deserve an award for simply being born? "Kicking the bucket" or "kicked off" is too crude. "Buying the farm" "bite the dust," "cash in one's chips," are all too glib. And just saying "gone," is too obscure. "Expired" isn't too bad, I suppose, except for the fact that it reduces the death of a human being to the fate of a parking meter. For better or worse, died is the word to use, I think.
Google the word "die" on the Internet and you get 1,680,000,000 results. Google "death" and you get 369,000,000 results. This tells me that someone could probably spend the rest their life just looking up death on the web.
The Internet has a web site called Death Clock which is, as they state, "The internet's friendly reminder that life is slipping away." On the home page of the thing there is a way to determine how much time you have left to live. You give them your day, month, and year of birth, your sex, whether you smoke or not, your mental outlook, and your body mass index and presto they will tell you the day you will die. In my case it is October 24th, 2022. They even give how many seconds of life you have left. I had, at the time I did this, exactly 484,200,976 seconds to go. The scary thing is that you actually watch the seconds of your life tick off on the little tote board gizmo. Weird. Yes, you can find out anything on the Internet.
Okay, here's a last laugh for you. A waiter dies and his wife is understandably distressed. One day she encounters someone who assures her that she can speak to her beloved husband through a medium. She is, of course, delighted with the prospect, and an appointment is made. The wife visits the medium and the séance begins. She presses both hands on the table and calls out, "Sam … Sam, speak to me!" A haunting breeze blows through, a whistling noise follows and then a faint voice cries out, "I can't it's not my table!"
Live and be well until next week.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. A freelance writer in Southern California, you may contact him by clicking here.
Greg Crosby Archives
© 2006, Greg Crosby
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