
 |
|
May 13, 2013
David G. Savage: Church-state, literally? Supreme Court weighing public school graduation in a church
May 10, 2013
Rabbi Berel Wein: Be all that you should be
May 8, 2013
Peter Ford: Why China is welcoming both Israel's Netanyahu and Palestinians' Abbas
Warren Richey: Obama administration quietly backs out of appeal over new contraceptive mandate
Fred Weir: At Kerry-Putin meeting, US-Russia relations thaw --- a tad
The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross : Almost too pretty to eat, this colorful salad with Sicilian inspiration will tickle the taste buds and delight your visual sensibility
May 6, 2013
May 3, 2013
Kids, kittens the Same? With employee perks at struggling Internet pioneer Yahoo! it's hard to tell
Sandy Kleffman: Artificial kidney offers hope to patients tethered to a dialysis machine
April 29, 2013
Roy Gutman: Poland's new Jewish museum celebrates life, doesn't revisit Holocaust
Mark Clayton: Terrorism in America: Is US missing a chance to learn from failed plots?
Kim Murphy: Boston Bomber's 'Svengali' Revealed
Pete Spotts: Tiny satellites + cellphones = cheaper 'eyes in the sky' for NASA
April 26, 2013
Clifford D. May: Defense in the Age of Jihadist Terrorism
Sharon Palmer, R.D.: How to feel your best -- with plenty of energy, a healthy weight and optimal mental and physical function -- without driving yourself batty
April 24, 2013
|
| |
Jewish World Review
July 6, 2007
/ 20 Tamuz 5767
Call it Quits
By
Greg Crosby
| 
|
|
|
|
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The Sopranos are off the air (as far as new episodes are concerned, of course reruns will go on for centuries) and Martin Scorsese hasn't made any new Italian crime family pictures in awhile, which is to say that many fans are probably going through Mafia withdrawal pains. To easy the pain a bit, here's a list of hit-man terms for killing a person. See how many you know. Whack, Hit, Clock, Nail, Cap, Clop, Stiff, Snuff, Clip, Waste, Ice, Pop, Do, Off, Croak. Then we have the "down" terms; Cut down and Blow down. Followed by the "out" terms; Take out and Rub out. Then the ever-popular "off" terms; Knock off, Bump off, Blip off, and Chill off. So many ways to say, "kill" and so little time.
And while we're on the morbid subject of death think of all the expressions with the word "dead" in them that we use in our daily lives. "Dead to rights," dead tired," "deadbeat," "dead as a doornail," "dead duck," dead-end," "dead between the ears," dead giveaway," "dead to the world," "dead shot,' "dead time," "deadhead," deadpan," "deadeye," "dead ringer" "dead letter," "dead of night,"
For many decades, actors have used terms of death to describe audience reactions to their performances. "I killed them last night." "The show bombed." "They were laid out in the aisles." "His routine died." "Dead air." "This will really slay "em." "This joke will kill ya."
Lots of people don't like using the word "death" or died," it upsets them. Maybe the word is a bit too final. A little too graphically frank. Euphemisms for death are many and used all the time, used possibly more than the word death itself. Raymond Chandler used a couple for two of his novels, "The Big Sleep," and "The Long Goodbye." "Pass away" is the term most used, I would imagine, although I don't like it myself it sounds too much like what it is, a cute inoffensive way of avoiding the word die. Recently I saw a show where a character said, in response to someone who had referred to a person as having "passed away," "He didn't pass away, he didn't pass on, he didn't pass over, he didn't pass through, he didn't pass out, he DIED!"
"Going to one's reward" assumes that one did something wonderful which would entitle them to a reward of some kind. How many of us really deserve an award for simply being born? "Kicking the bucket" or "kicked off" is too crude. "Buying the farm" "bite the dust," "cash in one's chips," are all too glib. And just saying "gone," is too obscure. "Expired" isn't too bad, I suppose, except for the fact that it reduces the death of a human being to the fate of a parking meter. For better or worse, died is the word to use, I think.
Google the word "die" on the Internet and you get 1,680,000,000 results. Google "death" and you get 369,000,000 results. This tells me that someone could probably spend the rest their life just looking up death on the web.
The Internet has a web site called Death Clock which is, as they state, "The internet's friendly reminder that life is slipping away." On the home page of the thing there is a way to determine how much time you have left to live. You give them your day, month, and year of birth, your sex, whether you smoke or not, your mental outlook, and your body mass index and presto they will tell you the day you will die. In my case it is October 24th, 2022. They even give how many seconds of life you have left. I had, at the time I did this, exactly 484,200,976 seconds to go. The scary thing is that you actually watch the seconds of your life tick off on the little tote board gizmo. Weird. Yes, you can find out anything on the Internet.
Okay, here's a last laugh for you. A waiter dies and his wife is understandably distressed. One day she encounters someone who assures her that she can speak to her beloved husband through a medium. She is, of course, delighted with the prospect, and an appointment is made. The wife visits the medium and the séance begins. She presses both hands on the table and calls out, "Sam … Sam, speak to me!" A haunting breeze blows through, a whistling noise follows and then a faint voice cries out, "I can't it's not my table!"
Live and be well until next week.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. A freelance writer in Southern California, you may contact him by clicking here.
Greg Crosby Archives
© 2006, Greg Crosby
|
|

Arnold Ahlert
Mitch Albom
Jay Ambrose
Michael Barone
Barrywood
Lori Borgman
Stratfor Briefing
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Richard Z. Chesnoff
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Suzanne Fields
Christine Flowers
Frank J. Gaffney
Bernie Goldberg
Jonah Goldberg
Julia Gorin
Jonathan Gurwitz
Paul Greenberg
Argus Hamilton
Victor Davis Hanson
Betsy Hart
Ron Hart
Nat Hentoff
A. Barton Hinkle
Jeff Jacoby
Paul Johnson
Jack Kelly
Ch. Krauthammer
David Limbaugh
Kathryn Lopez
Rich Lowry
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Ann McFeatters
Dale McFeatters
Dana Milbank
Jeanne Moos
Dick Morris
Jim Mullen
Deroy Murdock
Judge A. Napolitano
Bill O'Reilly
Clarence Page
Kathleen Parker
Star Parker
Dennis Prager
Wesley Pruden
Tom Purcell
Sharon Randall
Robert Robb
Cokie & Steve Roberts
Heather Robinson
Debra J. Saunders
Martin Schram
Greg Schwem
Culture Shlock
David Shribman
Roger Simon
Lenore Skenazy
Michael Smerconish
Thomas Sowell
Ben Stein
Mark Steyn
John Stossel
Cal Thomas
Dan Thomasson
Bob Tyrrell
Diana West
Dave Weinbaum
George Will
Walter Williams
Byron York
ZeitGeist
Mort Zuckerman

Robert Arial
Chuck Asay
Baloo
Lisa Benson
Chip Bok
Dry Bones
John Branch
John Cole
J. D. Crowe
Matt Davies
John Deering
Brian Duffy
Everything's Relative
Mallard Fillmore
Glenn Foden
Jake Fuller
Bob Gorrel
Walt Handelsman
Joe Heller
David Hitch
Jerry Holbert
David Horsey
Lee Judge
Steve Kelley
Jeff Koterba
Dick Locher
Chan Lowe
Jimmy Margulies
Jack Ohman
Michael Ramirez
Rob Rogers
Drew Sheneman
Kevin Siers
Jeff Stahler
Scott Stantis
Danna Summers
Gary Varvel
Kirk Walters
Dan Wasserman

Tech Q&A
Mr. Know-It-All
Ask Doctor K
Richard Lederer
Frugal Living
On Nutrition
Bookmark These
Bruce Williams
|