Home
In this issue
Nov. 6, 2009
Rabbi Berel Wein: Choosing to hear
JWisdom.com Zero to 1/60th: How to Empower An Hour with Gavriel Aryeh Sande (7 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick The mullahs' big week
Suzanne Fields A Fallen Wall for Fallen Man
Nov. 5, 2009
The Kosher Gourmet: Three scrumptious -- but simple -- butternut squash dishes
JWisdom.com Hidden Hints: Unlocking Faith & Prayer with Rabbi Jay Yaacov Schwartz (10 minutes)
Nov. 4, 2009
Tom Hamburger and Kim Geiger: Should prayers be covered?
JWisdom.com When God played peacemaker With Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Nov. 3, 2009
Martin Peretz: Beware, Barack. Beware, Rahm. Beware, Axelrod
JWisdom.com Are you are closet idolater? With Sara Yoheved Rigler (10 minutes)
Nov. 2, 2009
Paul Greenberg: The Holocaust is now on Facebook
JWisdom.com Abraham's Strange Change With Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer (5 minutes)
Oct. 30, 2009
Rabbi David Aaron: Secret to Immortality
Caroline B. Glick Silencing dissent in America
Oct. 29, 2009
Lini S. Kadaba: Do tactics avert flu or reduce humanity?
JWisdom.com We Must Revamp our Religious Vocabulary With Gavriel Aryeh Sanders ( 10 minutes)
Oct. 28, 2009
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Atheists in Bubbleland
JWisdom.com Why what we wear impacts who we are With Rabbis Mordechai Becher, Menachem Golberger and Aliza Bulow ( 10 minutes)
Oct. 27, 2009
Paul Greenberg: The United Nations Is Outraged Again, Or: Department of Mideast Static
JWisdom.com The Science of Love With Rabbi Jonathan Rietti ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 26, 2009
The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Damaging disclosures with a twist
JWisdom.com Wisdom and Wonks With Rabbi Eytan Feiner ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 23, 2009
Rabbi David Aaron: Are you ready for the ultimate pleasure?
JWisdom.com Watermark and oneness with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 4 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick Stop using limited powers in a way that expands our enemies' advantages over us
Oct. 22, 2009
Steven Emerson: Terror Cases Share Desire to Kill Americans
JWisdom.com No More More Family Fights --- Really? By Sarah Chana Radcliffe ( 5 minutes)
Oct. 21, 2009
Tonya Alanez: Holocaust denier sues survivor, calling Auschwitz memoir 'vicious lies'
JWisdom.com Meditating Jewishly: A Panacea for Success by Sarah Yoheved Rigler ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 20, 2009
Dennis Prager: Obama and Dalai Lama: Why Israel Worries about U.S. President
JWisdom.com Abraham was not religious By Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer ( 6 minutes)
Oct. 19, 2009
JWisdom.comWhy Good People Do Bad Things By Rabbi Eytan Feiner ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 16, 2009
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The Perfect Number
JWisdom.com Hearing Voices By Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 5 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick How Turkey was lost
Oct. 15, 2009
Jeff Jacoby: Peace vs. the 'peace process'
JWisdom.com: Former MTV producer and stand-up comedian Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff: Taming a Control Freak (A VERY fast 15 minutes)
Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review June 20, 2008 / 17 Sivan, 5768

Shop worn out

By Greg Crosby


Printer Friendly Version
Email this article

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Under normal circumstances I don't have a reason to "go shopping" or in any way spend time at the stores the way I once did, but thanks to several upcoming family functions, I recently found myself deeply into the whole mall experience. To begin with, parking in these places is always such a delight - I can only equate it with standing in line at the DMV or having wisdom teeth pulled.


These parking structures are always jam packed, no matter the time of day or day of week or month of the year. Sure, crowds at Christmastime, but now? If the economy is as bad as the news keeps saying, why is the place so crowded? I guess nobody told those hoards who are shopping their brains out at the mall that people can't afford to go shopping.


I don't know about you, but driving in circles in a darkened parking structure searching for a spot doesn't exactly put me in the right frame of mind for a happy-go-lucky shopping adventure. Oh, wait, there's a spot over there! No, that's handicapped only. Oh, look, there's one! No, that's only for electric cars. What about that spot? No, that's for pregnant women only. By the way, if they're so pregnant, why aren't they at home resting instead of schlepping themselves all over the mall?


Once we're in the store complex the first thing I am aware of is the pungent aroma of the food court. Ahhh… there's nothing quite like that aromatic combination of multicultural fast-food from fifty-nine different stalls all wafting together in one big smelly repulsive area. Man! Gives me an appetite, how about you?


There seems to be much more of those little kiosks out in the middle of the shopping center than I remembered. Looks like an outdoor market place in some foreign country, except instead of selling straw hats or oranges, they're selling designer watches and expensive handbags. But it certainly has a certain exotic flair since the clerks all speak in languages other than English.


For those of us who remember REAL department stores, walking through a Macy's department store today is quite another thing all together. The perfume and cosmetics counters have been extended to the point of almost taking up the entire first floor. There must be a tremendous profit in that stuff and women never seem to get enough of it. Just another mystery of life to me. How much make-up does a person really need? An awful lot, I guess.


Something new has been added since the last time I ventured into a department store. There's a whole new area of men's clothing that I can only presume they must call "the hobo section." Predominately in blacks and grays, the clothes look like stuff that someone tried to give away to the Salvation Army years ago, but was rejected.


And what a wide selection! That is if you're looking for lots of crumby looking T-shirts, lots of wrinkled, faded tie-dyed shirts with logos and slogans written on them that have no meaning whatsoever. And jeans, jeans, jeans. Nothing even remotely dressy, it's clothing to work on the car in. The garments are sort of biker/gothic, I suppose. And I'm no biker and I ain't even remotely gothic. But lots of men must want that look, because that section is the largest part of the men's department.


There is still a small department for men's suits and shoes - but very little of what would be considered traditional men's sport clothes. The rest of the store is all women's things. So much for department store selection. Things aren't too much better for the guys out in the mall, either. While there are dozens, maybe a hundred shops for women, there is literally one men's store. I don't count places like Abercrombie and Finch, which cater to adolescent taste, if you pardon the expression. There is no selection of men's stores anymore. And men's shoe stores? Forget it, unless you want athletic shoes.


But there are handbag shops, soap shops, every kind and style of women's clothing shops, women's shoe stores, jewelry stores, greeting card shops, kitchen stores, bed and bath shops, candle and wind chime shops, house wares and gift stores, plus all the kiosks which also cater to the tastes of women, and don't forget the most important place of all - the food court.


Today's mall is a shopping paradise if you happen to be a young working woman with lots of disposable income, I suppose. But if you're an aging male writer who is not into goth or black torn jeans or cargo shorts, then you best stay home, wear what you have, and be thankful that you can remember what real department stores were like and when service, quality, and class were a natural part of the shopping experience.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.


JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. A freelance writer in Southern California, you may contact him by clicking here.

Greg Crosby Archives

© 2006, Greg Crosby

Insight (Our Columnists)

 Arnold Ahlert
 Mitch Albom
 Michael Barone
  Dave Barry
 Tony Blankley
 Andy Borowitz
 David Broder
 Stratfor Briefing
 Mona Charen
 Linda Chavez
 Ann Coulter
 Greg Crosby
 Larry Elder
 Suzanne Fields
 John Fund
 Frank J. Gaffney
 Lloyd Garver
 Jonah Goldberg
 Julia Gorin
 Jonathan Gurwitz
 Paul Greenberg
 Lewis Grossberger
 Victor Davis Hanson
 Betsy Hart
 Nat Hentoff
 David Horowitz
 Laura Ingraham
 Cheri Jacobus
Jeff Jacoby
 Paul Johnson
 Jack Kelly
 Ed Koch
 Ch. Krauthammer
 Michael Ledeen
 John Leo
 David Limbaugh
 Kathryn Lopez
 Rich Lowry
 Michelle Malkin
 Jackie Mason
 Dick Morris
 Bill O'Reilly
 Jim Mullen
 Clarence Page
 Kathleen Parker
 Dennis Prager
 Wesley Pruden
 Tom Purcell
 Jonathan Rauch
 Celia Rivenbark
 Robert Robb
 Cokie & Steve Roberts
 Pat Sajak
 Debra J. Saunders
 Culture Shlock
 Roger Simon
 Michael Smerconish
 Thomas Sowell
 Mark Steyn
 John Stossel
 Cal Thomas
 Bob Tyrrell
 Diana West
 Dave Weinbaum
 George Will
 Walter Williams
 Byron York
 Mort Zuckerman

'Toons
 Robert Arial
 Chuck Asay
 Baloo
 Chip Bok
 Dry Bones
  Lisa Benson
 John Branch
 Gary Brookins
 John Cole
 J. D. Crowe
 John Deering
 Brian Duffy
 Everything's Relative
 Mallard Fillmore
 Jake Fuller
 Bob Gorrel
 Joe Heller
 David Hitch
 Jerry Holber
 Steve Kelley
 Jeff Koterba
 Dick Locher
 Chan Lowe
 Ranan R. Lurie
 Jimmy Margulies
 Rick McKee
 Michael Ramirez
 Kevin Siers
 Jeff Stahler
 Ed Stein
 Danna Summers
 John Trever
 Gary Varvel
 Kirk Walters

Lifestyles
 How 2
 Lori Borgman
 The Savvy Consumer
 Elder matters
 Fixit
 Dr. Peter Gott
 GET A JOB! by Marty Nemko
 Richard Lederer
 Tech Maven
 Every Monday Matters
 Nutrition Myths
 Bookmark These
 Bruce Williams
 How Stuff Works