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June 17, 2013

Rabbi Simcha Weinstein: Black to the Future: American Apparel Gets Biblical

Patrik Jonsson: Minnesota Nazi: How did Nazi hunters miss Michael Karkoc?

Kate Irby, Ali Watkins, Trevor Graff and Kevin Thibodeaux: All the ways you're being watched
Don Lee: G-8 meeting will test NSA leaks' effect on U.S. influence

Patrik Jonsson: Fort Hood shooting: Judge nixes Nidal Hasan defense strategy. What now?

Stacey Burling: Why the stigma for migraine sufferers?

The Kosher Gourmet by Lisa Abraham: Does it work? 5 new kitchen gadgets put to the test

June 14, 2013

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: A spiritual budget: Religious economics and being a ruler

John P. Martin: Hitler insider's missing diary found

Matt Pearce: NSA surveillance disclosure could affect court cases
Peter Tinti: US bounties changes strategy on (Wild, Wild) West African jihadis

Daniel Pendrick, M.D.: Memory loss? Old age may be the least of it

Lauren F. Friedman: But it's all natural! Should we have an instinctive preference for herbal remedies?

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Streisand and Alicia Keys in Israel; "Girls" Stuff; Mel Brooks, Another TV special; Superman (who is Jewish) returns --- Israeli plays his mom

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon K. Ghag : Bored with salad? Bling it up a bit (4 effortless recipes that will result in a 'WOW!')

June 12, 2013

Stephanie Hanes: Little girls or little women? The Disney princess effect

Fred Weir: In tweak to US, Russia would 'consider' asylum for Snowden

Sharon Palmer, R.D.: What's so special about Omega-3 supplements?
Morgan Housel: What newspapers were saying when you should have been buying

Pete Spotts: How cockroaches evolved so as to bypass 'roach motels'

The Kosher Gourmet by Anjali Prasertong: Deep-dish cookie: Warm, gooey and a little over the top

June 10, 2013

Joseph A. Slobodzian: Faith healing and third degree murder: Thorny legal case
Lindsay Wise: Few options for online users to avoid spying, experts say

Sharon Palmer, R.D.: There are plenty of nutritional food bargains out there
Harvard Health Letters: Can bariatric surgery control diabetes?

Zach Murdock: Superglue helps doctors save infant's life

The Kosher Gourmet by Celebrated chef Mario Batali : As good as grilling gets: Rib eye with dry mushroom spice rub

June 7, 2013

Rabbi David Aaron: Beating jealousy

Caroline B. Glick: Wounded . . . and dangerous

Clifford D. May: Al Qaeda vs. Hezbollah
Harvard Health Letters: Fighting back against allergy season

Kimberly Lankford: Grandparents who use FSA to cover grandkid's braces and other must-know info

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom:J ewish Tony Nominees/Tony Awards; Jewish Teen Actor In Sci-Fi Flick; Jewish singer in "Voice" finals

The Kosher Gourmet by Anjali Prasertong: A tart filling so good it might not make it to the crust

June 5, 2013

John Rosemond: Mom, Dad: Talk More and listen less

Kristen Chick: Egypt court sentences 43 pro-democracy workers to prison

Sharon Palmer, R.D.: Mushrooms Have Medicinal As Well As Culinary Value
Morgan Housel: Why you never learn from your investment mistakes

Don Lee: In China, kindergarten rivalry takes deadly turn

The Kosher Gourmet by Sara Kate Gillingham-Ryan: 30-Minute Coq au Vin isn't a dream

June 3, 2013

Molly Hennessy-Fiske: Military judge to consider letting Fort Hood shooting defendant represent himself

Richard A. Serrano: Pvt. Bradley Manning's WikiLeaks trial also a test for government

Mark Trumbull: Have degree, driving cab: Nearly half of college grads are overqualified
Kim Lankford: What to do when long-term care insurance premiums rise

Deborah Netburn: Study: Adults' mouth bacteria may help babies

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom: Jewish Contestant on 'The Voice'; Will Smith's 'Jewish movie family'; Bravo Gives Long Island Jews the Jersey Shore Treatment; Magicians and More

The Kosher Gourmet by Bill Ward: How to be as refined as the wines at a wine tasting

May 29, 2013

Andrew Connelly and Helene Bienvenu: The Little Synagogue that Refused to Die

Dennis Prager: The 'Muslims-Killed-by-the-West' Lie

David Clark Scott: Open war on teachers?
Morgan Housel: If you know only five things about investing, make it these

Sara Reardon: AGenome detectives change the donation game

Deborah Netburn: A one-way ticket to Mars? 78,000-plus and counting apply by video

The Kosher Gourmet by Bev Bennett: CHEDDAR AND CHERRY MUFFINS --- your mouth is already watering

May 24, 2013

Rabbi Tzvi Hersh Weinreb: When I didn't so 'humbly disagree'

Caroline B. Glick: Thank you, Hafez al-Assad

Diana West: From the Brooklyn Bridge to London
Morgan Housel: Why spotting bubbles is so much harder than you think

Environmental Nutrition editors: NuVal labeling to the rescue?

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Memorial Day: Jews Serving and KIA in War on Terror; Liberace Bio-Pic; Jew Wins "Survivor"; Shalom, Dr. Brothers; More

The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen: HIDE THESE FROZEN TREATS FROM THE KIDDIES!: Sangria pops; Irish cream pudding pops; mango Lassi pops

May 22, 2013

John Thorne: They launched the 'Arab Spring' but now yearn for the good old days of a strongman

John Rosemond: 'Disciplinary math' adds up to parental successl

Warren Richey: Are prayers before public meetings OK? Supreme Court to decide
Rick Montgomery: Use of ADHD drugs as study aid raises concern on campuses

Brierley Wright, M.S., R.D.: 6 convincing reasons you should keep carbs in your diet

Eoin O'Carroll: Scientists examine nothing, find something

The Kosher Gourmet by Carole Kotkin: This soup is made from one of the great pleasures of spring: A wonderful pairing of rosy color and earthy tang

May 20, 2013

Richard A. Serrano: Is Meir Kahane's assassin now a changed man?

Hannan Adely: Town raises Palestinian flag at City Hall

Melissa Healy: Genetic copies of living people from embryos no longer science fiction
Morgan Housel: When smart investors do stupid things

Sharon Saloman, M.S., R.D.: Hunger games: Eat more, weigh less, without starving

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Jews Inducted into Rock Hall of Fame; Anton Yelchin co-stars in New "Trek" film; Kutcher (but not Kunis) visits Israel; Jewish TV Star Praises Jewish Rap Star

The Kosher Gourmet by Cathy Pollak: WARNING: This WALNUT CAKE WITH PRALINE FROSTING, perfect for afternoon coffee, is addicting


Jewish World Review May 23, 2009 / 28 Iyar 5769

Home alone

By Greg Crosby


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | My wife has left me. She packed up, hopped a plane and now I'm all alone. No, she's not getting a divorce; she's just visiting her family back east for 3 weeks. The good news is she'll be coming back to me. But right now I'm home alone and it feels strange. It's been quite a while since the two of us have been separated for any length of time. I'm scared. HELP! HOW DO YOU WORK THIS STUPID WASHING MACHINE??


I'm only kidding. Don't think that I'm a perfect idiot, I'm not. Nobody's perfect. I know how to do stuff without Jane. I've been cooking for myself, for example. This morning for breakfast I made a half of a grapefruit and toast. Last night I cooked myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I can do stuff. I watch television, listen to music, water the plants, read the papers, go to bed, and wake up - all by myself. The truth is, doing these things feels very alien without my wife around. The house seems to take on a different dynamic when you're alone in it.


For instance, I have become aware of noises that I never heard when Jane was here. Little creaks and pops and groans like the house was digesting or something. Maybe the house was trying to talk to me, like "Where did she go? What did you do with her?" Credit me with not taking the bait. I never answered the house's probing questions, not once. What happened to Jane is none of its business. WHY CAN'T I FIND THE STUPID CALL WAITING BUTTON ON THIS PHONE?


The worst part is at night when I go to bed. I get into bed, turn off the light and …that's it. Nothing else. No one to wait for. No one to say "good night, sweet dreams" to. It's very strange and it is the only time in the entire day when I feel lonely. That's when an uncomfortable emptiness settles over the house. Even the house is speechless. Not that I would ever answer it anyway. I told you, I don't talk to houses.


While she's been gone my sister and brother have both had me over for dinners at their homes. It's been very nice being with the family and everything. I think, though, that my brother and sister think I'm helpless without Jane. Isn't that funny? And also they want to make sure that their big brother doesn't get too lonesome and, you know, start to do something crazy like talking to the house. But I'm fine. I'm really okay. HOW DO YOU MAKE THIS STUPID BED WITHOUT WRINKLES?


In just about a week Jane will be home and our lives will get back to normal. The one thing I really won't miss having to do, will be taking take of her African violets. I never knew those flowers needed so much attention. Like taking care of a baby or an animal. Or a baby animal even. Actually this trip was a good break for both of us, I think. It gave her a chance to spend some extended personal time with her side of the family and it gave me a chance to get to know the house a little better. WHERE DOES SHE HIDE THE HAND TOWELS?


Meanwhile, I think I'll cook up something really special for dinner tonight. Grapenuts cereal with sliced bananas sounds good. No, wait. I had that two nights ago. Okay, tonight I'll prepare a delicious bowl of popcorn. I can always wash that down with an Eskimo Pie and some Cheez-Its later on. I like to keep my meals balanced.


Frankly, I can't wait for Jane to get back. For one thing, it will nice to have someone around here to answer my questions, because this stupid house hasn't been any help at all. And if it continues to ignore me like this, I swear I'll stop speaking to it entirely. WILL YOU PLEASE STOP MAKING THOSE NOISES!

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JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. A freelance writer in Southern California, you may contact him by clicking here.

Greg Crosby Archives

© 2008, Greg Crosby

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