That high pitched humming sound you hear is coming from Walt Disney's grave as he spins faster than Paris Hilton's overpriced attorneys attempting to plead her case.
In case you haven't heard, The Walt Disney Company is now offering "Fairy Tale Wedding" ceremonies for homosexual and lesbian couples at their two U.S. theme parks and on their cruise ships. The package was previously not available to homosexuals but that policy has been, um, altered, if you pardon the expression.
As quoted by Reuters last month, Disney Parks and Resorts spokesman Donn Walker said, "We are updating our Fairy Tale Wedding guidelines to include commitment ceremonies. This is consistent with our policy of creating a welcoming, respectful and inclusive environment for all of our guests." Walker said the change was prompted by "an inquiry from a guest that asked about this service." But the fact is, the change in policy came after a homosexual Web site, AfterElton.com, criticized Disney for not allowing same-sex couples to participate in the Fairy Tale Weddings and Honeymoons program.
All together now, sing along with me, "It's a gay world af-ter all … it's a gay world af-ter all … it's a gay world af-ter all, it's a gay, gay world."
As it says on the Disney Wedding web site: "Walk down the aisle of your very own fairy tale come true. Enjoy the enchantment of ceremonies and receptions set against magical backdrops, unparalleled entertainment and savory menus as your personal "fairy godplanner" grants your every wish and ensures your wedding day is everything you have always dreamt it would be. This is the magic of Disney's Fairy Tale Weddings. Let us make your wedding dreams come true."
That's right, starting from about $8,000 any Larry or Chuck can live out their personal fantasy by having a fairy princess or Tinkerbelle wedding. Any Roxanne or Loretta can imagine themselves as "King of the Wild Frontier" or a pirate of the Caribbean as they exchange vows. The price includes the wedding planner, the ceremony, flowers, table decorations and food and beverages — pixie dust not included.
"Avast me hardies, ho yo. Yo, ho, yo, ho, a pirate's life for me…"
Until last month the Disney wedding package was available only to straight couples because a valid California or Florida marriage license was required. But hey, why let a little thing like a wedding license stand in the way of a wedding ceremony? I mean this is Fantasyland after all, isn't it?
The Lavish Wedding Option also includes a ride to the ceremony in the Cinderella coach, costumed trumpeters heralding the couple's arrival, and attendance by Mickey and Minnie Mouse characters dressed in formal attire. That's what was done for the straight couples. I wonder if they will use two Mickeys for homosexual couples and two Minnies for Lesbians couples. Why not? Will a fairy godmother wave a magic wand over the heads of the happy homosexual couples as they exchange vows? "Abracadabra! Alakazam! Bibbity, bobbity, boo! I now pronounce you husband and husband. Or wife and wife. Or whatever and whatever."
"When you wish upon a star …makes no difference what you are."
Fairy godmothers, magic, wish fulfillment, people that can fly, elephants that can fly, wooden puppets that become real live boys, impoverished little girls who become princesses, sleeping beauties waiting for their prince to awaken them with true love's kiss, creatures who are different from everyone else but finally get accepted for what they are, ugly ducklings that transform into beautiful swans — all this is the stuff that Disney has stood for. It also is the stuff of homosexual imagination and fantasy.
There have been "Gay Day" celebrations at Disney's theme parks for years so I guess this is just another logical step for "the happiest (gayest?) place on earth." For those of us who still believe strongly that marriage should remain as it has since time began, as a special commitment between one man and one woman, this gay Disney wedding business is just plain ludicrous. Most people still believe that the only legitimate marriage, by definition, is between a man and a woman. Anything else is nothing but a sham — a make believe wedding. But come to think of it, what better place for a "make-believe" wedding than the ultimate "make-believe" place — Disneyland.
I guess we will be seeing more and more of this kind of nonsense as our society gets more and more upside-down and inside-out. Call me an old fashioned traditionalist, but I long for the time when marriage was for an adult man and woman. And Disney fantasy was mostly for children.
