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Nov. 6, 2009
Rabbi Berel Wein: Choosing to hear
JWisdom.com Zero to 1/60th: How to Empower An Hour with Gavriel Aryeh Sande (7 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick The mullahs' big week
Suzanne Fields A Fallen Wall for Fallen Man
Nov. 5, 2009
The Kosher Gourmet: Three scrumptious -- but simple -- butternut squash dishes
JWisdom.com Hidden Hints: Unlocking Faith & Prayer with Rabbi Jay Yaacov Schwartz (10 minutes)
Nov. 4, 2009
Tom Hamburger and Kim Geiger: Should prayers be covered?
JWisdom.com When God played peacemaker With Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Nov. 3, 2009
Martin Peretz: Beware, Barack. Beware, Rahm. Beware, Axelrod
JWisdom.com Are you are closet idolater? With Sara Yoheved Rigler (10 minutes)
Nov. 2, 2009
Paul Greenberg: The Holocaust is now on Facebook
JWisdom.com Abraham's Strange Change With Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer (5 minutes)
Oct. 30, 2009
Rabbi David Aaron: Secret to Immortality
Caroline B. Glick Silencing dissent in America
Oct. 29, 2009
Lini S. Kadaba: Do tactics avert flu or reduce humanity?
JWisdom.com We Must Revamp our Religious Vocabulary With Gavriel Aryeh Sanders ( 10 minutes)
Oct. 28, 2009
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Atheists in Bubbleland
JWisdom.com Why what we wear impacts who we are With Rabbis Mordechai Becher, Menachem Golberger and Aliza Bulow ( 10 minutes)
Oct. 27, 2009
Paul Greenberg: The United Nations Is Outraged Again, Or: Department of Mideast Static
JWisdom.com The Science of Love With Rabbi Jonathan Rietti ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 26, 2009
The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Damaging disclosures with a twist
JWisdom.com Wisdom and Wonks With Rabbi Eytan Feiner ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 23, 2009
Rabbi David Aaron: Are you ready for the ultimate pleasure?
JWisdom.com Watermark and oneness with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 4 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick Stop using limited powers in a way that expands our enemies' advantages over us
Oct. 22, 2009
Steven Emerson: Terror Cases Share Desire to Kill Americans
JWisdom.com No More More Family Fights --- Really? By Sarah Chana Radcliffe ( 5 minutes)
Oct. 21, 2009
Tonya Alanez: Holocaust denier sues survivor, calling Auschwitz memoir 'vicious lies'
JWisdom.com Meditating Jewishly: A Panacea for Success by Sarah Yoheved Rigler ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 20, 2009
Dennis Prager: Obama and Dalai Lama: Why Israel Worries about U.S. President
JWisdom.com Abraham was not religious By Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer ( 6 minutes)
Oct. 19, 2009
JWisdom.comWhy Good People Do Bad Things By Rabbi Eytan Feiner ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 16, 2009
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The Perfect Number
JWisdom.com Hearing Voices By Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 5 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick How Turkey was lost
Oct. 15, 2009
Jeff Jacoby: Peace vs. the 'peace process'
JWisdom.com: Former MTV producer and stand-up comedian Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff: Taming a Control Freak (A VERY fast 15 minutes)
Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review May 9, 2008 / 4 Iyar 5768

Coffee Break

By Greg Crosby


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Only in Los Angeles, the official capital of overindulgence, ostentation, and superficiality, would you find an article in the front page business section of the paper bemoaning the fact that the economy is so bad that Southern Californians have been forced to cut back on their five dollar cups of boutique coffee. Oh, boohoo. "Learning to cope with the growing pain of costly coffee" the L.A. Times headline cried out.


The article goes on to say that more and more people have had to go to McDonald's instead of Starbucks for their morning coffee, or even, (heaven forbid!) make it at home for themselves. Can you imagine? Man, we must really be into a bad recession if folks have to actually make their own coffee at home.


Let me tell you something, personally I never understood the whole $5 cup of coffee thing. It never made any sense to me why people would pay exorbitant prices for what costs pennies to make. Many years ago when the Starbucks fad first took off, I avoided it. Then one time I found myself at an airport with time to kill and wanting a cup of coffee. The only place to get coffee in the immediate vicinity of my gate was a Starbucks. I broke down and bought a cup of coffee. Not only was it expensive, I didn't think it was very good. That was my one and only Starbucks adventure.


And another thing, what's the deal with purposely not using those common, ordinary English terms, "small, medium and large" to describe the size of coffee cups at Starbucks? Using foreign words and obscure phrases is just another way of jerking around the stupid public to think they're getting something exotic and special. Well, guess what? They're not getting anything exotic or special - they're getting a really overpriced cup of lousy coffee, that's all.


I've drunk coffee for most of my life and I know good from watery, from bitter, from mediocre. I buy good quality coffee beans from the supermarket, grind them at home each morning and brew a pot of coffee that's as good as or better than anywhere in town. I'm not saying I'm some kind of coffee wizard, I'm saying that making a decent, rich tasting cup of coffee isn't rocket science.


Yes, I know the Starbucks experience is much more than just coffee. It's all about being with the right crowd, a place to see and be seen. Hanging around, pretending to read a newspaper, going on-line with your laptop, and being oh, so cool - all this is part of the whole boutique coffee thing. I get it. But I don't want it. It's phony. It's shallow. And it is soooo LA it makes me want to throw up.


So it's not as "cool" to buy a cup of coffee at the 7/11 as it is to spend big bucks at the fancy designer coffee joints? It's much more chic to buy pretentious grande caramel triple latte with extra foam from the pimply-faced kid with the phony job description of "baristas," right? First of all, call them what they are - coffee jerks. Kids that poured sodas were called soda jerks, these kids pour coffee, they're coffee jerks. Baristas? You know what? GET OVER YOURSELVES! GROW UP!


A lackluster economy affects different people differently. So while ordinary people in other parts of the country have lost their factory jobs because of overseas manufacturing, and lost their homes due to over extending themselves with loans, and mortgaged their futures by getting further and further into debt, the poor, poor Hollywood elites have had to cut back on their mocha lattes, double espressos, and decaffeinated cappuccinos. Oh, boohoo. Double boohoo, with extra foam on top!


What's next? If the economy gets any worse Hollywood honchos may be forced to drive their own cars. The Beverly Hills crowd may have to let their live-in personal trainers and aromatherapists go. Movie stars might have to get by with only a half dozen estrogen injections a year and no more than one or two elective cosmetic/surgical procedures. The recreational drug market in tinsel town might experience a slump, or at least a bit of a dip. Tattoo parlor visits might have to be cut back to once a week. I tell you, we live in desperate times for the beautiful people.


Unless the economy turns around soon Rob Reiner may be down to only 6 or 7 meals a day. Richard Gere will certainly starve without his rice deliveries. Lindsay Lohan might have to make a choice between cocaine OR alcohol. And Barbra Streisand may have to auction off more collectables from yet another Malibu beach front estate. Boy oh boy. It's rough out here folks. Rough.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.


JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. A freelance writer in Southern California, you may contact him by clicking here.

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© 2006, Greg Crosby

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