Questions I need Answers For

So many questions, so little answers. It seems a day doesn't go by without some perplexing question rearing its ugly enigmatic head. I am by nature a simple man of logic. I like things to make sense. Please understand that I'm not referring to the "big questions of life," it's the little stuff that I'd like answers for. I don't ask for much, just simple answers to small questions. For example:

Having just gone through several major repair and replacement jobs to our home in the last year, jobs like under the house re-plumbing, replacing of a hot water heater, total replacement of air conditioning and furnace, painting, and complete re-roofing, just to name a few of the biggies, I have a question.

Since women in American society have made tremendous advances in workplace equality, doing many if not most, of the jobs that were once considered only man's work, how come I didn't see any liberated women working at any of the menial, blue-collar jobs we've had done at out house? Every worker was a man. Where are the women roofers? Where are the women plumbers and women air conditioner and furnace installers? Where are the women painters?

Plenty of women are in medicine, law, the military, police work, heads of major business concerns, and small business owners. There are vast numbers of women prominent in education, journalism, the entertainment industry, social media, politics, and broadcasting. More and more women are pastors and rabbis and have made changes, some subtle and some not so subtle, in the way religion is taught in our society.

More young women attend and graduate college and universities today than do young men. The job market in practically all professions is now geared to women. Companies recruit and apprentice the fair sex, and pride themselves in finding the best and brightest women to fill influential positions within their organizations. There are opportunities galore for women in federal, state and local government work.

So again, how come we don't see the gals doing the tough blue-collar jobs? Is it because men are keeping them out? Is it because they are not physically strong enough? Or could it be that those jobs are just not good enough for the girls. A little too sweaty, a little too dirty. Maybe the idea of crawling down into the crawl space under the house to attach pipes or having to climb up into an attic, which can get to over 120 degrees, to install a heating unit is simply, well, not very glamorous to say the least. No, today's women have gone beyond grunt work, no matter how well it pays. They're just not interested in anything physical unless it happens to be something in sports, or the military or something else that has a cache of "coolness" to it. The only "glass ceilings" they want to break are the ones that have high visibility and are socially acceptable. Not many gals care very much about crashing the glass ceiling in roofing installation or HVAC servicing.

And here's another question. Why is a pair of pants a pair? It's only one thing, and a pair generally refers to two things. Actually a pair of pants should be two pants. Two pairs of pants should be four pants. If the argument to call pants a pair is because there are two legs in the pants, then how come we don't call a shirt a pair of shirts? There are two sleeves in a shirt just as there are two legs in pants. So really we should say, "put on a pair of shirts."

The same goes for a pair of eyeglasses. Eyeglasses are one thing. A pair of something, to me, means two things. I get a pair of shoes, that's two shoes. I understand a pair of socks, also two. But a pair of pants? A pair of glasses? A pair of underwear? What the hell is up with that?

We have a pair of legs because there are two of them. We have a pair of ears also because there are two of them. But we do not have a pair of noses (unless we are deformed). But, by the same logic as the pair of pants rule, we should say we have a pair of noses because there are two holes in our nose, right? Women have a pair of breasts but they don't put on a pair of bras, how come?

Think about it. But not too much or you might hurt yourself.

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JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. He's also a Southern California-based freelance writer.