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May 22, 2013

John Thorne: They launched the 'Arab Spring' but now yearn for the good old days of a strongman

John Rosemond: 'Disciplinary math' adds up to parental successl

Warren Richey: Are prayers before public meetings OK? Supreme Court to decide
Rick Montgomery: Use of ADHD drugs as study aid raises concern on campuses

Brierley Wright, M.S., R.D.: 6 convincing reasons you should keep carbs in your diet

Eoin O'Carroll: Scientists examine nothing, find something

The Kosher Gourmet by Carole Kotkin: This soup is made from one of the great pleasures of spring: A wonderful pairing of rosy color and earthy tang

May 20, 2013

Richard A. Serrano: Is Meir Kahane's assassin now a changed man?

Hannan Adely: Town raises Palestinian flag at City Hall

Melissa Healy: Genetic copies of living people from embryos no longer science fiction
Morgan Housel: When smart investors do stupid things

Sharon Saloman, M.S., R.D.: Hunger games: Eat more, weigh less, without starving

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Jews Inducted into Rock Hall of Fame; Anton Yelchin co-stars in New "Trek" film; Kutcher (but not Kunis) visits Israel; Jewish TV Star Praises Jewish Rap Star

The Kosher Gourmet by Cathy Pollak: WARNING: This WALNUT CAKE WITH PRALINE FROSTING, perfect for afternoon coffee, is addicting

May 13, 2013

Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Why the giving of the document that would permanently change the world could only be done in desolation

David G. Savage: Church-state, literally? Supreme Court weighing public school graduation in a church

Emily Alpert: Recession dragged down birth rates for less-educated women
Morgan Housel: The deep downside of home ownership

Peter Teffer: Will Dutch police soon be stalking cybercriminals on your computer?

Heidi McIndoo, M.S., R.D.: Meatless 'meat' can have its own set of problems

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Celebrate! This must-try appetizer is delicate yet has depth of flavor: Corn-Leek Cakes with Caviar, Smoked Salmon and Creme Fraiche

May 10, 2013

Rabbi Berel Wein: Be all that you should be

Caroline B. Glick: The dirty little secret about Israel's Arabs

Mona Charen: Hawking's Moral Calculus: The man and the movement he embraces
Morgan Housel: The biggest retirement myth ever told

Sandi Doughton: Eyes may provide new insight into brain problems

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : The Great Gatsby's Jewish Ties; Jews in the "Time 100 list" List; People's Most Beautiful Women

The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: A sweet-hot meal: Pear salsa spices up salmon

May 8, 2013

Peter Ford: Why China is welcoming both Israel's Netanyahu and Palestinians' Abbas

Warren Richey: Obama administration quietly backs out of appeal over new contraceptive mandate

Fred Weir: At Kerry-Putin meeting, US-Russia relations thaw --- a tad
Amanda Paulson: Study reveals sad truths about community colleges

Harvard Health Letters: Evidence weak that zinc, echinacea are beneficial

The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross : Almost too pretty to eat, this colorful salad with Sicilian inspiration will tickle the taste buds and delight your visual sensibility

May 6, 2013

Edmund Sanders and Patrick J. McDonnell: Think Israel's objective in Syria is to weaken Assad or embolden the rebels? Think again

Brian Bennett: Israeli airstrikes may show weakness in Syrian defense

Michael Ollove: Millions of ex-felons, parolees and those on probation are about to be entitled to tax-payer paid health coverage
Karen Kaplan: Most men can skip PSA test for prostate cancer, urologists say

Kimberly Lankford: How to track down a lost life insurance policy

Dream of Mars exploration achievable, experts say

The Kosher Gourmet by Susan M. Selasky: EGGPLANT WRAPS are an easy, sumptuous and scrumptious meal

May 3, 2013

Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Human Courage and the Unavoidable, Disturbing Text

Steven Emerson: Attorney General Fights CAIR in Court, Lauds it in Public

Mediterranean diet helps beat dementia: study
Harvard Health Letters: When to be screened for a hearing problem

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Iron Man's Jewish Connections; Marc Maron's New TV Show; Martin Landau Grows Up with Israel; Shalom, Allan Arbus

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: A sweet surprise for Mother's Day dessert

May 1, 2013

Jonathan Rosenblum: An Improbable Journey to Orthodoxy

Jonathan Tobin: Blame Obama, Not Israel for Syria Push

Kids, kittens the Same? With employee perks at struggling Internet pioneer Yahoo! it's hard to tell
Halena M. Gazelka, M.D.: Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: What you need to know about implanted pain relief devices

Sandy Kleffman: Artificial kidney offers hope to patients tethered to a dialysis machine

Jessica Shugart: When it comes to math, MRIs may be better than IQs

The Kosher Gourmet by Mario Batali: The celebrated chef on how high-maintenance ASPARAGUS RISOTTO need not be

April 29, 2013

Roy Gutman: Poland's new Jewish museum celebrates life, doesn't revisit Holocaust

Mark Clayton: Terrorism in America: Is US missing a chance to learn from failed plots?

Kim Murphy: Boston Bomber's 'Svengali' Revealed
Morgan Housel: He's rich, smart and old: Listen to him

Thomas Salinas, D.D.S.: Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: The safety of amalgam fillings

Harvard Health Letters: Tomatoes and stroke protection

Pete Spotts: Tiny satellites + cellphones = cheaper 'eyes in the sky' for NASA

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Swing into spring with lemon cream pie

April 26, 2013

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: The world is a mirror

Caroline B. Glick: Time to confront Obama

Clifford D. May: Defense in the Age of Jihadist Terrorism
Kimberly Lankford: New strategies ease pain of paying for long-term care insurance

Howard LeWine, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Too much ibuprofen?

Sharon Palmer, R.D.: How to feel your best -- with plenty of energy, a healthy weight and optimal mental and physical function -- without driving yourself batty

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom: Jewish Major Leaguers, 2013; New Movies and Comedy Show; Shalom, 'Lumpy' (Leave it to Beaver)

The Kosher Gourmet by Emily Ho : A bright and cheerful salad to herald the warmer months ahead

April 24, 2013

Steven Emerson: Boston Bomber Exposes Islamist Secret

Morgan Housel Admit it: No one has any idea what's going on
Harvard Health Letters: Can you get headaches from headache medication?

Kerri-Ann Jennings, M.S., R.D.: How to easily get more Omega-3s in your diet

Melissa Healy: Pot in a pill: All the pain relief without the smoke

The Kosher Gourmet by Susan Russo: Chipotle Chili Butternut Squash Soup is bold, zesty, hot

April 22, 2013

Ken Dilanian: Counterterrorism's future is unclear

US man departing country arrested on terror charges
Barbara Williams: An unorthodox but growing treatment in a 9-year-old's battle against cancer

P.J. Skerrett, M.D.: How to recognize a good whole grain product

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom: Teen actor Jonah Bobo in New Flick: Hunky James Wolk on Mad Men; Erich Segal's Daughter Writes Prize-Winning Jewish Novel


Jewish World Review March 16, 2007 / 26 Adar 5767

Whose wedding is it?

By Greg Crosby


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Spring is daylight savings time and new blossoms and tax paying and one other very important thing. It's wedding planning season again. But whose wedding is it anyhow? In our age of narcissistic self-awareness, all the books, web sites and glossy mags reinforce the "ME, ME, ME, and only for ME" mentality when it comes to weddings. A wedding is all about the bride, they say, and not about anyone else. "Have the Wedding that you want - not the one 'they' want you to have" the magazine copy screams out. "It's not your mother's wedding" a web site states, "so stop worrying about doing everything her way." The article goes on to say how many brides feel cheated when their mothers are permitted input as to the wedding details.


"If there ever was one, this is the time for you to express your individual taste and style. So what if she'd (the mother) never dream of carrying "fake" flowers in her bridal bouquet? In her generation, fake flowers were plastic — of course she wouldn't have used them! This is a new generation, and silk wedding flowers are the rage ..."


Yes, the wedding is the bride's one big chance to be the star of the show and yes, it is most certainly her show, but to what extent? To the total exclusion of all family members? No, it shouldn't be so. A wedding is too important an event. Sure, the wedding is extremely personal for the perspective bride, but it is an enormously important family affair as well. As much as it is the big opportunity for the bride to shine, it is just as important a time for the bride's family to proudly be able to share in her happiness. This is, or should be, a happy life-affirming FAMILY event.


The two important life-changing events which occur in every family are funerals and weddings. These are the two events which traditionally bring families and friends together at one time and in one place. The funeral is a time of family consoling; the wedding is, of course, celebration. When a family member dies we come together for support, remembrance, and comfort. A time of immense sadness and loss, it is right that all family members share this sorrow and help each other through this difficult period. A Wedding is no less of a family gathering which needs to be shared.


But a wedding is the antithesis of the funeral. A time of immense happiness and hope, it is just as important for family members to share this joy with the perspective bride as it is to ban together during a time of grief - if anything it is more important. It gives us a chance to embrace and include our extended family in our happiness. And it gives our extended family the opportunity to participate in a joyous event. Isn't it an awful thing to only see our cousins, uncles, aunts and others during the saddest times of our lives and not for the happiest?


Sadly, the way weddings are being sold to young women today is to stress the "it's not your mother's wedding" concept. The idea is that you shouldn't listen to your mother or grandmother or anybody else in planning your wedding. Do it your own way, invite only who you want to invite, and pick out details that appeal only to you. This attitude appeals to the self absorbed, vain young princesses who have grown up to believe the world revolves around them and now its time to prove it. And they'll prove it by doing their own wedding their own way without any input or suggestions or guidance from parents whatsoever. How utterly selfish.


Just as a girl dreams about becoming a beautiful bride one day, so does a mother dream about sitting down with her daughter and planning the once in a lifetime event with her. It was a traditional way of mother and daughter to bond, like a father going fishing or playing ball with his son. And dad also knows that one day he will walk his little girl down the aisle and give her hand over to her young man, and family members and friends will be there to witness it and take pleasure in it.


The people who have loved that little girl all of her life should be there to take part and to dance at her wedding. Mom and dad want their friends to be there too at this moment of joy in their lives. "My baby has grown, left the nest and is ready to make her own family with the man she loves. I am so glad that our family and friends could gather at this occasion and join us in our happiness." This is what parents want. What they dream about for their daughter's wedding.


There is another new concept in weddings that contributes to making it difficult for family and friends to participate. It is called "destination weddings." Destination weddings are a great way to exclude family members and friends you don't care about or don't particularly want to see, from attending your wedding. It works like this, the bride and groom pick the place of their dreams to get married in, a place far, far away from family, a fantasy place - a place where family members would have to travel long distances at great expense to get to.


The wedding usually will extend two or three days at this fantasy destination and will involve hotel room accommodations, food, plane fare, and carfare all at the "guests" own expense. And don't forget proper clothing to wear at the various "events" that have been planned leading up to and after the actual ceremony. And all this, of course, is on top of the wedding gift.


Ever since Tom Cruise did it, the fantasy destination of choice for today's storybook wedding has been the Tuscany region of Italy, but there is plenty of other far away places with strange sounding names to choose from as well. Nice is nice. The Caribbean is cool. And how about Hawaii? Or better yet, some remote island in the South Pacific. In the old days a girl got married in or near the home of her parents and then went on a honeymoon trip. Today they go on a trip to get married and then go on another trip for their honeymoon. Two trips for the price of one wedding - not bad.


No one is saying that the bride shouldn't have a wonderful, beautiful wedding - a wedding she will cherish all the days of her life, (or at least as long as the marriage lasts) but why can't it happen close to home so that the people who love her can attend without having to take out a second mortgage or divest themselves of their life savings? Just because she is the princess doesn't mean that the rest of us have to be the paupers.

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JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. A freelance writer in Southern California, you may contact him by clicking here.

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© 2006, Greg Crosby

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