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May 14, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Snitching to the IRS

The Kosher Gourmet by Jill Wendholt Silva: Spring greens with fennel and herbs

JWisdom: A Righteous Gentile by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

May 13, 2008

Jonathan Mark: For pro-Israel voters, Obama's middle name should be the least of their concerns

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: The Leaker Shield Act

JWisdom: Why You & I Never Die: A Jewish View of Immortality, Part II by Rabbi David Aaron

May 12, 2008

Chosen Words: A newsletter for personal and spiritual growth gleaned from classic biblical and other sources that will help you enhance your day to day life. Likely the most constructive three minutes you will spend today

Mark Steyn: Israel's 'doom' could also be Europe's

JWisdom: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: When Faith Meets Fate, Part One

May 9, 2008

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: Reverence, Yes; Worship, No

Mona Charen: Did Israel Drive Out the Arabs 60 Years Ago?

JWisdom: Ultimate opportunities by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

May 8, 2008

Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Israel at 3,500+

Jonathan Tobin: Still Fighting the Same War

Steven Plaut: How ‘nakba’ proves the fiction of a Palestinian Nation

JWisdom: Taking Israel for Granted? by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

May 7, 2008

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Israel is irrelevant to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict

Dion Nissenbaum: Latest Olmert scandal could derail efforts to force Israel's compromises

JWisdom: My Inner Ventriloquist by Sara Yoheved Rigler

May 6, 2008

Caroline B. Glick: Anti-Zionism at 60

The Kosher Gourmet By Ethel G. Hofman: In honor of Israel's 60th anniversary, the former president of the International Association of Culinary Professionals, whose members included the likes of Julia Child, is back with a smorgasbord featuring the taste and essence of the Jewish homeland

JWisdom: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Jewish Deer in Nazi Headlights

May 5, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Busy work

Jonathan Mark: Remarkable half-century old Mike Wallace interview with Abba Eban puts current anti-Israel sentiment into perspective

May 2, 2008

Rabbi Berel Wein: Rote religiosity

Caroline B. Glick: Whitewashing Hamas

JWisdom: Parent trap?

May 1, 2008

David Zwiebel: Faith communities can learn from Orthodox Jews in stimulating private philanthropy for religious education

George Friedman and Peter Zeihan of Stratfor: The Shift Toward an Israeli-Syrian Agreement

JWisdom: It's time to wake up by Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

April 30, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: Pennsylvania's Democratic slugfest may leave some Jewish votes up for grabs

The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: Fresh herbs, sauteed veal and tiny creamer potatoes makes a light spring dinner

JWisdom: How to Build a Mentch by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

April 29, 2008

Daniel Pipes: Barack Obama's Muslim Childhood

Joel Brinkley: On human rights, the U.N. once again strikes out

JWisdom: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: When The Truth is Unbelievable

April 28, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Q: I'm often stuck in the doctor's waiting room for hours! Doesn't he owe me something for my wasted time?

Steven Emerson: New U.S. government policy advises agencies to avoid using some of the very same words that make up terror groups' names

JWisdom: Why You & I Never Die: A Jewish View of Immortality, Part I by Rabbi David Aaron

April 25, 2008

Rabbi Mitchell Wohlberg: Schadenfreude isn't kosher for Passover --- or at any other time

Rabbi Berel Wein: The secret of how the data bank of memory is transferred from one generation to the next

JWisdom: Stepping Up to A Higher Spiritual Life by Rabbi Lawrence Kelemen, Part III

April 24, 2008

Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: The successful failure

Fred Burton and Scott Stewart of Stratfor: Placing the terrorist threat to the food supply in perspective

JWisdom: Stepping Up to A Higher Spiritual Life by Rabbi Lawrence Kelemen, Part II

April 23, 2008

Connie Ogle: An intricate game of a novel

Jonathan Tobin: Making Sense of the 'J Street' Jive

JWisdom: Stepping Up to A Higher Spiritual Life by Rabbi Lawrence Kelemen

April 22, 2008

Jonathan Rosenblum: Why Israel's 'Leaven law' matters

Caroline B. Glick: Obama the Savior

April 18, 2008

Rabbi Harvey Belovski: Multimedia tool of antiquity

Caroline B. Glick: Revealed Truths vs. revealed lies

JWisdom: More than miracles by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

April 17, 2008

Rabbi Avi Shafran: Deconstructing Dayeinu

Rabbi Elazar Meisels: Is innovation at the Seder a slap at tradition?

JWisdom: Discovering Your Divine Mission, Part III by Rabbi David Aaron

April 16, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: A Prayer for Sderot's Children

Ethel G. Hofman: Sumptuous Seder

JWisdom: The Divine is in the details by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

April 15, 2008

Rabbi Dovid Zauderer: Let Charlton Heston Go!

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Jimma, tyranny's enabler

JWisdom: Relationships: Beyond Mars & Venus, Part IV by Dr. Lisa Aiken

April 14, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: The Snitching Supervisor

Jonathan Tobin: Forget the Fun and Games!

JWisdom: Sincerity is Valued Most by Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, M.D.

April 11, 2008

Rabbi David Gutterman: A Mystery in the Middle East

Caroline B. Glick: Why Ahmadinejad smiles

JWisdom: Elevated illness by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

April 10, 2008

Stratfor Intelligence Briefing by George Friedman: A Mystery in the Middle East

The Kosher Gourmet By Steve Petusevsky: The spring elegance of asparagus

JWisdom: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: The Power of Rational Lies

April 9, 2008

Michael Feldberg: An all but forgotten Colonial doctor who put his Jewish values before his life

Jordan "Gorf" Gorfinkel's "Everything's Relative" gets philosophical

JWisdom: Four Rabbis in Bnei Brak by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

April 8, 2008

Caroline Glick: Covering for the enemy

Elliot B. Gertel: 'House' goes Hasidic

JWisdom: Relationships: Beyond Mars & Venus, Part III by Dr. Lisa Aiken

April 7, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Q: I have a translating business. Recently someone asked me to translate some financial documents that are clearly forged. Should I agree?

Jonathan Rosenblum : Israel is unwittingly helping to fuel the international campaign of delegitimization against it

JWisdom: Matzah and leaven as a life philosophy by Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, M.D.

April 4, 2008

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: The Mystery of Suffering

Caroline B. Glick: Fear of democracy

JWisdom: Dirty Jews by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

April 3, 2008

Rabbi Y. Y. Rubinstein: Parents --- and the children who would be them

The Kosher Gourmet by Kathy Manweiler: Tempted by restaurant dressings? Don't be. Here are recipes that can be made at home, healthier!

JWisdom: The importance of retaining a 'slave mentality' by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

April 2, 2008

Mitch Albom: Child abuse, disguised as faith

Jonathan Tobin: Unreasonable Accommodations

JWisdom: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith with Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Eliminating Jewish Influence over Germans

March 22, 2007

J-Rhythms with Avraham Rosenblum: JWR's cutting-edge music program showcasing performers -- singers, song writers, musicians, and bands -- who learn and live the Torah lifestyle (OUR NEWEST IGODCAST !)

Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review March 16, 2007 / 26 Adar 5767

Whose wedding is it?

By Greg Crosby


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Spring is daylight savings time and new blossoms and tax paying and one other very important thing. It's wedding planning season again. But whose wedding is it anyhow? In our age of narcissistic self-awareness, all the books, web sites and glossy mags reinforce the "ME, ME, ME, and only for ME" mentality when it comes to weddings. A wedding is all about the bride, they say, and not about anyone else. "Have the Wedding that you want - not the one 'they' want you to have" the magazine copy screams out. "It's not your mother's wedding" a web site states, "so stop worrying about doing everything her way." The article goes on to say how many brides feel cheated when their mothers are permitted input as to the wedding details.


"If there ever was one, this is the time for you to express your individual taste and style. So what if she'd (the mother) never dream of carrying "fake" flowers in her bridal bouquet? In her generation, fake flowers were plastic — of course she wouldn't have used them! This is a new generation, and silk wedding flowers are the rage ..."


Yes, the wedding is the bride's one big chance to be the star of the show and yes, it is most certainly her show, but to what extent? To the total exclusion of all family members? No, it shouldn't be so. A wedding is too important an event. Sure, the wedding is extremely personal for the perspective bride, but it is an enormously important family affair as well. As much as it is the big opportunity for the bride to shine, it is just as important a time for the bride's family to proudly be able to share in her happiness. This is, or should be, a happy life-affirming FAMILY event.


The two important life-changing events which occur in every family are funerals and weddings. These are the two events which traditionally bring families and friends together at one time and in one place. The funeral is a time of family consoling; the wedding is, of course, celebration. When a family member dies we come together for support, remembrance, and comfort. A time of immense sadness and loss, it is right that all family members share this sorrow and help each other through this difficult period. A Wedding is no less of a family gathering which needs to be shared.


But a wedding is the antithesis of the funeral. A time of immense happiness and hope, it is just as important for family members to share this joy with the perspective bride as it is to ban together during a time of grief - if anything it is more important. It gives us a chance to embrace and include our extended family in our happiness. And it gives our extended family the opportunity to participate in a joyous event. Isn't it an awful thing to only see our cousins, uncles, aunts and others during the saddest times of our lives and not for the happiest?


Sadly, the way weddings are being sold to young women today is to stress the "it's not your mother's wedding" concept. The idea is that you shouldn't listen to your mother or grandmother or anybody else in planning your wedding. Do it your own way, invite only who you want to invite, and pick out details that appeal only to you. This attitude appeals to the self absorbed, vain young princesses who have grown up to believe the world revolves around them and now its time to prove it. And they'll prove it by doing their own wedding their own way without any input or suggestions or guidance from parents whatsoever. How utterly selfish.


Just as a girl dreams about becoming a beautiful bride one day, so does a mother dream about sitting down with her daughter and planning the once in a lifetime event with her. It was a traditional way of mother and daughter to bond, like a father going fishing or playing ball with his son. And dad also knows that one day he will walk his little girl down the aisle and give her hand over to her young man, and family members and friends will be there to witness it and take pleasure in it.


The people who have loved that little girl all of her life should be there to take part and to dance at her wedding. Mom and dad want their friends to be there too at this moment of joy in their lives. "My baby has grown, left the nest and is ready to make her own family with the man she loves. I am so glad that our family and friends could gather at this occasion and join us in our happiness." This is what parents want. What they dream about for their daughter's wedding.


There is another new concept in weddings that contributes to making it difficult for family and friends to participate. It is called "destination weddings." Destination weddings are a great way to exclude family members and friends you don't care about or don't particularly want to see, from attending your wedding. It works like this, the bride and groom pick the place of their dreams to get married in, a place far, far away from family, a fantasy place - a place where family members would have to travel long distances at great expense to get to.


The wedding usually will extend two or three days at this fantasy destination and will involve hotel room accommodations, food, plane fare, and carfare all at the "guests" own expense. And don't forget proper clothing to wear at the various "events" that have been planned leading up to and after the actual ceremony. And all this, of course, is on top of the wedding gift.


Ever since Tom Cruise did it, the fantasy destination of choice for today's storybook wedding has been the Tuscany region of Italy, but there is plenty of other far away places with strange sounding names to choose from as well. Nice is nice. The Caribbean is cool. And how about Hawaii? Or better yet, some remote island in the South Pacific. In the old days a girl got married in or near the home of her parents and then went on a honeymoon trip. Today they go on a trip to get married and then go on another trip for their honeymoon. Two trips for the price of one wedding - not bad.


No one is saying that the bride shouldn't have a wonderful, beautiful wedding - a wedding she will cherish all the days of her life, (or at least as long as the marriage lasts) but why can't it happen close to home so that the people who love her can attend without having to take out a second mortgage or divest themselves of their life savings? Just because she is the princess doesn't mean that the rest of us have to be the paupers.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.


JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. A freelance writer in Southern California, you may contact him by clicking here.

Greg Crosby Archives

© 2006, Greg Crosby

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