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In this issue
Nov. 6, 2009
Rabbi Berel Wein: Choosing to hear
JWisdom.com Zero to 1/60th: How to Empower An Hour with Gavriel Aryeh Sande (7 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick The mullahs' big week
Suzanne Fields A Fallen Wall for Fallen Man
Nov. 5, 2009
The Kosher Gourmet: Three scrumptious -- but simple -- butternut squash dishes
JWisdom.com Hidden Hints: Unlocking Faith & Prayer with Rabbi Jay Yaacov Schwartz (10 minutes)
Nov. 4, 2009
Tom Hamburger and Kim Geiger: Should prayers be covered?
JWisdom.com When God played peacemaker With Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Nov. 3, 2009
Martin Peretz: Beware, Barack. Beware, Rahm. Beware, Axelrod
JWisdom.com Are you are closet idolater? With Sara Yoheved Rigler (10 minutes)
Nov. 2, 2009
Paul Greenberg: The Holocaust is now on Facebook
JWisdom.com Abraham's Strange Change With Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer (5 minutes)
Oct. 30, 2009
Rabbi David Aaron: Secret to Immortality
Caroline B. Glick Silencing dissent in America
Oct. 29, 2009
Lini S. Kadaba: Do tactics avert flu or reduce humanity?
JWisdom.com We Must Revamp our Religious Vocabulary With Gavriel Aryeh Sanders ( 10 minutes)
Oct. 28, 2009
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Atheists in Bubbleland
JWisdom.com Why what we wear impacts who we are With Rabbis Mordechai Becher, Menachem Golberger and Aliza Bulow ( 10 minutes)
Oct. 27, 2009
Paul Greenberg: The United Nations Is Outraged Again, Or: Department of Mideast Static
JWisdom.com The Science of Love With Rabbi Jonathan Rietti ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 26, 2009
The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Damaging disclosures with a twist
JWisdom.com Wisdom and Wonks With Rabbi Eytan Feiner ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 23, 2009
Rabbi David Aaron: Are you ready for the ultimate pleasure?
JWisdom.com Watermark and oneness with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 4 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick Stop using limited powers in a way that expands our enemies' advantages over us
Oct. 22, 2009
Steven Emerson: Terror Cases Share Desire to Kill Americans
JWisdom.com No More More Family Fights --- Really? By Sarah Chana Radcliffe ( 5 minutes)
Oct. 21, 2009
Tonya Alanez: Holocaust denier sues survivor, calling Auschwitz memoir 'vicious lies'
JWisdom.com Meditating Jewishly: A Panacea for Success by Sarah Yoheved Rigler ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 20, 2009
Dennis Prager: Obama and Dalai Lama: Why Israel Worries about U.S. President
JWisdom.com Abraham was not religious By Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer ( 6 minutes)
Oct. 19, 2009
JWisdom.comWhy Good People Do Bad Things By Rabbi Eytan Feiner ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 16, 2009
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The Perfect Number
JWisdom.com Hearing Voices By Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 5 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick How Turkey was lost
Oct. 15, 2009
Jeff Jacoby: Peace vs. the 'peace process'
JWisdom.com: Former MTV producer and stand-up comedian Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff: Taming a Control Freak (A VERY fast 15 minutes)
Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review January 16, 2009 / 20 Teves 5769

Ever Wonder?

By Greg Crosby


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Do you ever wonder about silly, trivial stuff? Not major things, like life or death or war or peace, but small irritating stuff. Like why do the weathermen on TV have names that sound like the weather? Johnny Mountain, Dallas Rains are two examples of local West Coast weathermen with weather names. And I think there was a guy named Storm on the East coast, no kidding. Don't try and tell me that these are the real names for these guys. No way. Right, just a crazy coincidence that the guy doing weather is named Bobby Mudslide. I'm surprised there isn't a weatherman called Jack Frost. Maybe there is some place.


And now there are lots of new young girlies doing the weather on the local stations. I don't know how many of them are meteorologists or how much they really know about climate and weather, but they know one thing - they know how to stand in front of a map so you can't read the temperatures that are printed on it. They don't have weather-sounding names, but they all dress in tight-fitting, cling-y outfits. These babes look like they're auditioning for the Marisa Tomei part in "My Cousin Vinny."


Ever wonder why they need two anchor people to sit in front of the camera and read the news? Why can't you just have one person do it? For the longest time the big thing on all the local stations was to have a man and a woman sharing the anchor. Then it changed to one man of one color and one woman of another color. Now the trend seems to be two women anchors. Have you noticed that most of the field reporters now are young women? What happened to the guys? Staying home with the kids, I guess.


If you were from another planet and came to earth and put on the television to the Fox News Channel, you'd assume that all the lawyers in America are young blonde women. Where do they all come from? All of Fox's legal pundits are glamorous-looking babes. Does the station send out a casting call for beautiful long-haired blonde attorneys? Now, don't get me wrong, I'd rather look at a cute little blonde talking the law then some slimy, swarthy, shyster defense attorney with a thousand dollar haircut, wearing a jewel encrusted watch and a five-thousand dollar designer suit.


And speaking of sleazebags, how is it that a mega-crook like Bernard Madoff doesn't go to jail after pulling off the biggest Ponzi scheme in history that cost investors BILLIONS of dollars? A federal judge refused prosecutors' requests to jail Madoff after he violated a court order by mailing more than $1 million worth of valuables to friends and family members. Obviously this crook is getting his family and friends to stash his valuables away for him, out of the sight and grasp of the public and prosecutors. Why isn't this goniff in prison? Why aren't all his assets being seized and liquidated to pay back a portion of what he stole from all those people and charitable organizations? Yeah, at the risk of showing my super-cynical side again, I guess its all about who you know, who you grease, and who you have the goods on. Bums like this guy always get away with it. It's just too damn true and too damn bad.


On a lighter note, ever wonder what the last words were of some famous people? We've all heard of "famous last words" and I found these on the web. Who knows how true any of them are, but you've got to admit, they're fun to read, in any case.


Bob Hope: "Surprise me."


Bing Crosby: "That was a great game of golf, fellers"


Conrad Hilton, when asked if he had any last words of wisdom for the world: "Leave the shower curtain on the inside of the tub."


William Saroyan: "Everybody has got to die, but I have always believed an exception would be made in my case. Now what?"


Thomas Edison: "It is very beautiful over there."


Humphrey Bogart: "I never should have switched form scotch to martinis."


Eugene O'Neill: "I knew it. I knew it. Born in a hotel room, and G-d damn it, died in a hotel room."


Ludwig van Beethoven: "Friends applaud, the comedy is finished."


P.T. Barnum: "How were the receipts today at Madison Square Garden?"


And with that, I give you my last words for this week's column. "Have a good week, dear readers!"

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.


JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. A freelance writer in Southern California, you may contact him by clicking here.

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© 2008, Greg Crosby

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