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Jewish World Review
August 31, 2006
/ 7 Elul, 5766
Why is the Republican Party debasing itself?
In addition to supporting Democrat Joe Lieberman over Republican Alan Schlesinger
in Connecticut, President Bush is supporting the Democrat over the Republican in
Rhode Island, too. In the Republican primary, Bush supports Lincoln Chafee who
votes with Bush on the important issues less often than Sen. Lieberman does over
the only actual Republican in the race, Stephen Laffey.
Apart from Bush, the only person who hasn't figured out that Lincoln Chafee is a
Democrat is Lincoln Chafee. As the expression goes, if Chafee switched parties, the
average IQ on both sides of the aisle would go up.
It's hard to figure why Bush would support a half-wit like Lincoln Chafee. Maybe he
believes his own poll numbers and is trying to help the conservatives by endorsing
After Chafee's family money got him into Andover and Brown, he made his living
shoeing horses for seven years. In fact, I've often wondered if an errant kick to
the head by one of his charges would account for Chafee's rudimentary cognitive
That remains Chafee's only professional accomplishment unless you include the
"fun zone" for kids on his official Senate Web site. Perhaps we could install a
"play zone" like they have at McDonald's in the Senate well to keep Chafee occupied
while the real senators go about their business.
When the farrier business proved too taxing for Chafee's intellect, he went into
the family business politics. His father died in office, and Lincoln was
appointed by the governor to serve out the remainder of Pop's term in the U.S.
Senate. (I know Rhode Island is small, but couldn't they find someone who reads
books right side up to fill the seat?) In terms of qualifications for the job,
Chafee makes Michael Brown look like Donald Rumsfeld.
Chafee is everything the Democrats like to claim Republicans are, which we are not
and they are: silver-spoon morons who get ahead on the basis of family connections
(for example, Ned the Red Lamont in Connecticut).
The only reason Chafee calls himself a Republican is that he believes that everyone
above a certain income level is required by law to do so.
He learned this from reading "Doonesbury" and watching "The West Wing" while
studiously ignoring blindingly obvious facts like: Sens. Teddy Kennedy (inherited
millions), John Kerry (married millions twice, lucky guy), Sen. Herbert H. Kohl
(inherited millions), John D. Rockefeller (inherited millions), Mark Dayton
(inherited millions), Dianne Feinstein (married millions) and aspiring senator Ned
the Red (inherited millions). All Democrats.
In addition to the Democratic trait of having absolutely no idea how wealth is
generated, Chafee's other Democratic characteristics include:
supporting gay marriage;
opposing the war in Iraq;
opposing tax cuts.
Stop complaining about taxes just live off your trust fund like a normal person!
Taxes, I note, have virtually no bearing on someone who is not currently earning an
income but living off incomes earned generations ago by better men than he.
Chafee even voted against Samuel Alito's nomination to the Supreme Court.
Republicans are always told we're supposed to vote for Fidel Dumbo if he has an "R"
after his name so Republican nominees will be confirmed to the Supreme Court. That
is true: Save terrorism, there is no more important issue than a president's
Supreme Court nominees. But Bush had two Supreme Court nominees and Chafee voted
against 50 percent of them, so Chafee doesn't even have that argument going for
Chafee explained his vote against Alito but for John Roberts by invoking the
Democrats' idiotic talking point about maintaining "balance" on the court.
"Balance," like "meaningful consultation with the Senate before choosing the
nominee," means precisely one thing: a Republican is in the White House. Democrats
subscribe to the Brezhnev doctrine: "What we have, we hold." Their interpretation
of elections they win by a plurality is that they have a mandate for Ruth Bader
Ginsburg; their interpretation of elections they lose is that this means they get
to block all Republican nominees.
Steve Laffey is the molecular opposite of Chafee: He is smart, self-made and a
Republican. He is one of five children and was the first member of his family to go
to college Bowdoin College, and then on to Harvard Business School. He was
president of a brokerage firm, a position he acquired by hard work and native
talent, not by attending his father's funeral.
Laffey is the sort of decent, talented person that makes you wonder why he would
bother entering an irritating profession like politics. But he did, becoming mayor
of Cranston, R.I., when the city was near bankruptcy. Within two years, Laffey had
raised Cranston's bond rating from the lowest in the country to investment grade,
earning him the sobriquet "the anti-Dennis Kucinich."
True, Rhode Island is an overwhelmingly Democratic state, and the chances of any
Republican winning the general election are slim. But that's no reason for the
Republican Party to debase itself by running someone dysfunctional and illiterate
enough to appeal to Democrats.
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Ann Coulter is the author of, most recently, "Godless: The Church of Liberalism".
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