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Jewish World Review
Nov. 26, 2009
/ 9 Kislev 5770
There's nothing to get you into the mood for a Thanksgiving gathering
like a little H1N1 in the air. I've been hacking away for 10 days no
fever, but suffering all the other symptoms and earlier this week, my
husband succumbed. So what to do with three kids, two spouses, eight
grandkids and my mother expecting heaping helpings of wild rice stuffing
and a golden bird on the table? I've consulted doctors, friends, and
family, and none of the options looks great.
We could postpone the dinner though the fresh turkey will probably go
bad and gather sometime over the weekend. But with such a large
family and so many children, the odds that everyone will be fit and
hardy on any given Sunday this time of year are pretty slim. And the
thought of everyone staying home and eating frozen turkey TV dinners is
too sad to contemplate. It will end up being the one Thanksgiving
everyone remembers and for all the wrong reasons.
The thing that irritates me most is that I had my flu shots, seasonal
and swine, though perhaps not soon enough, thanks to government
inefficiency and rationing. One set of grandkids have had theirs as
well, and the others have all had H1N1, which turned out not to be
nearly as bad as everyone expected. So if I go ahead with the meal, I'm
not likely risking family calamity, just a few days of misery if my
illness turns out to be something both new and still contagious. And my
doctors can't reassure me on either count.
I could put out surgical masks alongside the napkins for everyone's use.
But unless I can figure out a way to puree turkey and let everyone sip
it through a straw, that doesn't seem very practical. But I can
certainly wear a mask while cooking, and gloves as well.
I'll have to forego the tasting part of preparation, which means the
gravy is guaranteed to be too salty or too bland but I won't notice
since my taste buds still haven't come back even as I've recovered from
the worst of my illness.
I might just use a mix, which would solve the saltiness factor, if there
are any left on the grocery shelves. I learned years ago that if you
live in a rural area, as I do, and don't buy everything you need for
holiday cooking weeks in advance, you're out of luck. I'm sure there are
cupboards all over Loudoun County bursting with gravy mixes, bread
crumbs, fresh cranberries, and pumpkin filling, hoarded by those who
worry there will be a run on ingredients Thanksgiving week.
The challenge will be to set the table early enough that any stray germs
will have died out before everyone takes their seat without inviting
dust to collect on the finery. Or we could just go with paper and
plastic, which seems sort of tacky but might be safer. I'll have plenty
of hand sanitizer available we can pass it with the yams and mashed
potatoes and we'll isolate anyone who looks peaked to their own
little island in the corner.
Maybe we'll invoke a rule of silence so that no one lets out any germs
if they get too exuberant in conversation. And of course we can insist
that all the adults consume a full glass of wine with every helping, as
a purely hygienic precaution.
There won't be much kissing and hugging this year, but then, the
Puritans probably didn't do much of that on the first Thanksgiving
Then again, we could just throw caution to the wind and celebrate the
way we always do with too much food and lots of laughs and
memory-sharing. A few sniffles and aches are a small price to pay for a
good meal and the family gathered 'round the table to give thanks for
all the blessings of the year.
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JWR contributor Linda Chavez is President of the Center for Equal Opportunity. Her latest book is "Betrayal: How Union Bosses Shake Down Their Members and Corrupt American Politics". (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.)
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