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Nov, 21, 2008
Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: Money matters?
Caroline B. Glick:
Civilization walks the plank
Nov, 20, 2008
Rabbi Avi Shafran: Bronfman's blindness
The Kosher Gourmet
By Linda Gassenheimer: Portobellos add a hearty flavor to pasta with pesto
Nov, 19, 2008
The Jewish Ethicist
by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : Spread the wealth? Jewish tradition and income equality
Elliot B. Gertel:
'Mad Men': Tackling prejudices or reinforcing them?
Nov, 18, 2008
Dr. Debby Schwarz Hirschhorn: The End of the Age of Reason
Jonathan Tobin: Does Barack + Bibi = Disaster?
Nov, 17, 2008
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The End of the Age of Reason
Diana West: Gulling Americans into making terror legit?
Nov, 14, 2008
Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: The Power of Spiritual Inertia
Caroline B. Glick: The perils ahead
Nov, 13, 2008
Stratfor Intelligence Briefing: How Bush and Obama together could change the Middle East dynamic
The Kosher Gourmet
by JeanMarie Brownson: Sweet and savory, crispy and meltingly tender bestilla
Nov, 12, 2008
The Jewish Ethicist
by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : Tyrannical Co-Workers
Michael Doyle: High Court to consider today donated monuments that may have religious messages in public parks
Nov, 11, 2008
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Will Obama stop government officials considering institutionalizing financial jihad?
Jonathan Tobin: They Will Decide Their Own Fate
Nov, 10, 2008
Rabbi Avi Shafran: $8 billion, modern-day Tower of Babel being built?
Barry Rubin: A letter to the president-elect from a Middle East realist
Nov, 7, 2008
Rabbi Francis Nataf: Of Children and Immortality
Caroline B. Glick: Livni's Obama strategy
Nov, 6, 2008
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: How I tricked a classroom of apathetic students into grasping the fallacy of moral relativism
The Kosher Gourmet
By Gina Kim: Tips for making the perfect soup --- includes recipes
Nov, 5, 2008
The Jewish Ethicist
By Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Destitute Debtors
Bruce Weinstein: 'Religulos': Bad title,even worse movie
Nov, 4, 2008
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Treasury Dept. submits to Shariah law
Frida Ghitis: A surprise for Obama in the Middle East
Nov, 3, 2008
Jonathan Rosenblum: Who says Jews are Smart?
Jonathan Tobin:
Was He Wrong About Everything?
Oct. 31, 2008
Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: Our Immutable Noble Essence
Caroline B. Glick: Running against Bush
Oct. 30, 2008
Jonathan Rosenblum: The End of the Special Relationship?
Steve Lipman: 'Kid Kosher' Gets A Title Shot
Oct. 29, 2008
Binyamin L. Jolkovsky: GET US THE TAPE THE L.A. TIMES REFUSES TO RELEASE, AND WE'LL GIVE YOU CASH!
Dr. Ari Korenblit: Making The Write Choice for President
Oct. 28, 2008
Mona Charen: Denial runs through American Jewry
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Sell-off to capitalism or sell-out to Islam?
Oct. 27, 2008
The Jewish Ethicist
by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Are tax deductions for charitable donations moral?
Jonathan Mark: The Mystery Of The Arab-American Vote
Oct. 24, 2008
'Why aren't all religious people vegetarians?': Response by Miriam Kosman
Caroline B. Glick: Testing Obama's mettle
Oct. 23, 2008
Daniel Pipes: Obama Would Fail Security Clearance
The Kosher Gourmet
by Linda Gassenheimer: A fast chicken dish with an Asian accent
Oct. 20, 2008
Gary Rosenblatt: Still One Torah
Jonathan Tobin:
Government 'Gifts' Are Not Free
Oct. 17, 2008
Jonathan Rosenblum: Sukkos and the Great Meltdown
Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of law
Oct. 16, 2008
The Jewish Ethicist
by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Copying DVDs: RIP OR RIPOFF?
Cal Thomas: Blaming the Jews (again)
March 22, 2007
J-Rhythms with Avraham Rosenblum: JWR's cutting-edge music program showcasing performers -- singers, song writers, musicians, and bands -- who learn and live the Torah lifestyle (OUR NEWEST IGODCAST !)
Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)
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Jewish World Review
May 16, 2008
/ 11 Iyar 5768
Superheroes: We Quit!
By
Julia Gorin
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Theme Park executives and investors are looking toward the untapped Middle Eastern market for the next big amusement park, as they try to overcome the hurdles that make the concept a bit tricky, the AP recently reported in a piece popularly titled "Superheroes fly into Middle East":
"Wonder Woman, King Kong and Shrek are heading for the Persian Gulf as part of the rush to build what could become the world's largest theme park playground. But even as the ink dries on the billion-dollar deals in the United Arab Emirates, movie studios are grappling with ways to make their signature characters and amusement parks fly in the conservative Muslim region. Politically sensitive characters such as Captain America could be left at home."
Indeed, I can already hear Wonder Woman protesting, "I can't work in a hijab!…And what the hell is an abaya?"
Naturally, when the superheroes are first assigned their new mission, there will be some confusion, with the characters assuming they're going to the Persian Gulf to kick some anti-American, jihadist butt. After reminding the studios that their death-proof capabilities stop at suicide bombings, since only some of the X-Men have reassembling abilities, the superheroes will learn from executives that no, they're being sent in to defend the Muslim populations, not take them on.
"Ohhhhhhhhh," Spiderman will finally understand, "You mean these are the folks we're supposed to…protect? Well that sounds a lot easier! Uh…from what, exactly? Global warming?"
And think of Superman's dilemma when those he was sent to protect stage an atrocity and tell him, "The Jews did it!" Will he fly to Israel, as exhorted by Allah's flock, to erase the Zionist enemy from the map once and for all?
If the superheroes do the right thing and refuse, they will be stoned, bombed and accused of being as Jewish as the American military in Iraq and the superheroes will have no choice but to turn against the very people they were sent to protect. Especially when the local populations hear that Superman is from Metropolis and Batman is from Gotham that is, Hymie Towns.
Somehow, "Truth, Justice, and the Arabic Way" sounds a tad oxymoronic.
What will the filthy, un-Islamic canine sleuth Scooby Doo do? And given that King Kong is a giant ape, some customers might object to such a large Jewish presence at the park. For that matter, what is Porky Pig doing in the ad above? Here's a projected picture of Porky after the Looney Tunes Riots:
Consider also the problematic case in which a damsel in distress requires the help of Aquaman, who snatches her from the jaws of death or worse, rape. Only now Aquaman has handled the girl, since saving people requires physical contact, so before he moves to save her, Aquaman has to think carefully: What's worse letting the victim succumb to her untoward fate, or save the victim only to be accused of fornication and thereby doom her to an honor killing? Such will be the wrenching decisions that our superheroes have never had to weigh before. And what to do when they spy a forlorn eight-year-old child bride of a pedophile? Who's the good guy and who is the bad?
If our superheroes make the wrong decisions in such conflicted close calls, they could wind up at the mercy of Sharia law. But Superman won't be able to fly as well with an amputated leg, and Wonder Woman needs both hands to repel bullets with her bracelets.
Most likely this is where our superheroes will draw the line and declare a strike, telling Marvel, Universal and Warner Brothers, "This isn't what we signed up for."
While "investors, studios and park operators are all aiming to cash in on what some observers call the Middle East's decades-long fascination with American culture," only Iran has a realistic sense of how minimal the potential here is:
"The displays of personalities such as Barbie, Batman, Spiderman and Harry Potter…are all warning bells to the officials in the cultural arena," according to Iranian Prosecutor General Ghorban Ali Dori Najafabadi, who said that these imports pose a threat to the 'identity' of the new generation.
Thank G-d someone still has his bearings. Suggested name for such a park: Never Land.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Julia Gorin is a widely published op-ed writer and comedian who blogs at www.JuliaGorin.com She's the author of the just-published "Clintonisms: The Amusing, Confusing, and Even Suspect Musing, of Billary". Comment by clicking here.
Julia Gorin Archives
© 2008, Julia Gorin.
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