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Jewish World Review Oct. 22, 2007 / 10 Mar-Cheshvan Sandy's secret: TopSecretBriefs.com By Dave Weinbaum
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Sandy Berger is back in the news. The ex-NSA Clinton Administration scion was caught smuggling and snuggling classified documents into his underwear and socks. No stranger to scandal, Berger was fined $23,000 for failure to sell his Amaco stock during Clinton's first term. He was also criticized for not alerting President Clinton on China's acquirement of our nuclear warhead designs. •
ALGORE-Man Bro, with Global Warming resistant clasp and expandable latex
for those larger documents. Working on a chastity belt lock-box with a secret
compartment. Next year? Polar bear briefs and bros. Hey you have to put those
drowned arctic creatures to good use!
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Hillary-Tummy and document tucking girdle, all far left snaps, with a wireless receptor focused on the phones of her most effective opponents in America, talk radio.
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Edward Kennedy-The extra large Teddy pockets fit docs AND flasks.
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George Soros-Deep pockets and that's all. Trap door in the regular pocket lets info flow to top of the socks.
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Bill Clinton-Automatic zipper for those quick encounters…electrified to prevent unwanted "probes" from prying female senator presidential candidates. This has nothing to do with stealing docs. Bill delegates all THAT.
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Larry and Barney-special tap socks. For small docs. Bathroom adventures not included.
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Nancy Pelosi-'Roo thongs. When you stuff the pouch, they tighten up. Explains that stupid pained grin frozen on her face. It's really a grimace. The suffering this woman has taken for her party is amazing!
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Michael Moore-Fake pregnancy body suit. The mother of all secret documents carriers. You can actually fit all the Clinton scandals papers in the plastic pliable womb. And it stretches enough to hide a stained blue dress. Guaranteed not to leave stretch marks.
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Lorena Bobbit Scissors-Free with every order. Great for shredding implicating documents and, AHEM, philandering husbands. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Dave Weinbaum, originally from Chicago, is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic. He resides in a Midwest red state. Comment by clicking here.
© 2005, Dave Weinbaum |
Mitch Albom | |||||||||||
