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News of the Weird: HUH!? By Chuck Shepherd
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | • In March, William Ernst, 57, owner of the QC Mart chain of Iowa convenience stores, excitedly announced a company-wide employee contest with a prize of $10 for guessing the next worker that Ernst will fire for breaking rules. "Once we fire the person, we will open all the envelopes (containing the entries), award the prize, and start the contest again." Ernst added, "And no fair picking Mike Miller from (the Rockingham Road store). He was fired at around 11:30 a.m. today for wearing a hat and talking on his cellphone. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!" (After firing a cashier who had complained about Ernst's attitude, he challenged the woman's unemployment-compensation claim, but in October, a judge ruled in her favor.) [Des Moines Register, 10-3-2011] • Even in a flagging economy, Christie's auction house in New York City was able to attract a record sales price for a photograph. In November, a 1999 photo by German artist Andreas Gursky, of a scenic view of the Rhine River, sold for $4.3 million. (It is possible, of course, that buying the actual waterfront property that Gursky photographed from -- to enjoy the same view every day -- would have been less expensive.) [Washington Post-AP, 11-11-2011] • Unfortunately, Manulife Financial Corp. is a Canadian firm, and thus it had a very bad year. If exactly the same company had been magically relocated to anywhere in the United States, it would have had an outstanding year. Under Canada's hard-nosed accounting rules, Manulife was forced to post a loss last year of $1.28 billion. However, under the more feel-good U.S. accounting rules, according to the company, it would have shown a profit of $2.2 billion and been flush with $16 billion more in shareholder value. [The Globe and Mail (Toronto), 11-3-2011] • Following October arrests by Nigeria's Abuja Environmental Protection Board, authorities learned that local prostitutes earned premium fees by selling their customers' semen to "juju priests," who use it as "medicines" in rituals. Police who rounded up the sex workers found inventories of condoms with the necks tied. [Codewit World News, 10-12-2011]
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• Wait . . . What!?; Cutting-Edge Science • Ironies • Reigning cats and . . . replacing man • Well, that certainly explains it • Almost too-good-to-be-true police reports • Society's collective yelp for help • Casualties in the culture-war?; bloody sick • Ultimate Catfighting; Mixed Evidence on Smoking • Do names portend the future?; Hey, It Could've Happened • You can't be trusted not to hurt yourself, citizens! • HUH!? • Leading Economic Indicators; A News of the Weird Classic (January 1995) • Weird Science; Recent Alarming Headlines • What passes for cutting-edge fashion; Least Competent Criminals • Compelling Explanations; Unclear on the Concept • Oh, the sweet irony!; Least Competent Criminals • Bureaucrat's Delight; Creme de la Weird • News That Sounds Like a Joke; (Very) Undignified Death • A ride to die for --- literally!; Least Competent Criminals • Risky Business Models; News of the Self-Indulgent • Oops!; ‘Sorry, Honey. I Was Aiming at the Dog’ • Don't read on a full stomach; Inexplicable • Direct Pipelines from the Pentagon to U.S. Enemies • People With Issues; Least Competent Criminals • The perfect marriage?; heavenly points for trying? • Pervs on Parade; Least Competent People • HUH!???? • For Self-Indulgent Crackpots • The Pervo-American Community; Least Competent Criminals • Ironies • Government turns TLC into crime, fine • The Pervo-American Community; truly bizarre historical trivia • Coincidence?; Catch-22; Unclear on the Concept • Ironic twist on ‘affirmative action’; Ah, art! • Names in the News (For Immature Readers Only, Please!); Pathetic losers • The continuing crisis, con't; The Pervo-American Community • New meaning for ‘adult toy’; OOPS! Wrong crime • Recent Confusing Headlines; People With Issues • Respect all cultures!?; screwed for something he didn't • Least Competent Criminals; He's full of . . . . • White men can …; Cutting-Edge Research • Undignified Deaths; Recurring Themes • People Different From Us --- And Most!; Leading Economic Indicators • Civilization in Decline: Growing Up Early • Life lessons for make-believe world; Armed and Clumsy (all-new!) • You just had to open that yap of yours, didn't you!? • Ironies • Fan-atic$; Unclear on the Concept • Criminals With Chutzpah; Least Competent Non-Criminals • Almost (Deservedly) Dead in Bed; Gee, whiz genius; They Call it Art! • More of your Government in Action! • Oops! • OOPS! • News That Sounds Like a Joke; Inexplicable • T-moo-I!; Unclear on the Concept • Creme de la Weird; Least Competent Gun-Handling • HUH!?; Questionable Judgments • The Classic Middle Name (all-new!); Unclear on the Concept • Least Competent Patient; Rights of the Disabled • Procreation Interventions; Weird Animals • Who says we're in a recession!?; Navel Observatory • Fine Points of the Law; Medical Marvels • How the Saudis hold beauty contests; The Entrepreneurial Spirit!; Noses Know • Cliche Come to Life; art!?; worse • I Demand My Rights!; Signs of the Times • Compelling Explanations; 'Wrong' Impressions • Ironies • HUH!? • When government bombs; Bizarre ‘art’ • Pakistan finds a use for ‘transgendered’; People With Issues • Least Competent Criminals; Usual consequence for an unqualified student • Why Unions Are Unpopular; Score One for Death Penalty Advocates • Those who don't know when to shut their yap • Least Competent Criminals; Last Words • HUH!? • Zero Tolerance?; Willing to go to Indonesia to cure for emphysema? • FANatic; what a putz — literally! • The ultimate loser; chutzpah X2 • Illegals become animals; When ‘grow up!’ is not just a rebuke • 'Good Housekeeping' for the bomber set; evolutionary hardiness in American drinkers? • In case you are getting sentenced; when a ‘best friend’ betrays • Do names portend the future? • Smooth Reactions; Least Competent Criminals • The Entrepreneurial Spirit: Product Giveaways • Creme de la Weird; The Litigious Society • Ironies • Least Competent Criminals; Classic weirdness • News That Sounds Like a Joke; The Weirdo-American Community • People Different From Us; Least Competent Criminals Not Ready for Prime Time • Yikes! • Change, the old fashioned way; Another ‘Sovereign’ Citizen • Elusive Perps; The Country Afraid of Its Own Shadow • More ‘Can't Possibly Be True!’ • Things that make say ‘HUH!?’ • Least Competent Criminals; Classic • Least Competent Criminals; She's repulsive, they're jealous • The Entrepreneurial Spirit; Not Your Father's Scotch • Privacy v. ‘art’; The Continuing Crisis • Recurring Themes; A News of the Weird Classic • People With Issues; Least Competent Criminals • Economics and witchcraft; Ironies • From victims to tourist attractions; Wacky lawsuit • Least Competent Criminals; People Who Ran Over Themselves • Getting Old, Young; from the archives • Bright Ideas; Least Competent Criminals • Oops!; Failed to Think It Through • The Continuing Crisis; Beloved Banker • Questionable State Regulation; Can't Possibly Be True • Unclear on the Concept; Least Competent Criminals • Where down is up; Can't Possibly Be True • Least Competent Criminals; Things that Make You Say: Huh!? • News That Sounds Like a Joke • Cultural Diversity; eggs-ellent! (from the archives) • News from Islam-land; Latest Cutting-Edge Research • Those Ingenious Western Spies!; Cultural Diversity • Can't Possibly Be True; Motherly Love • Least Competent Criminals; Questionable Judgments • This mafia really are animals; out of control businesses • Least Competent Criminals; from the archives • Their Crimes Fit Their Names; Bright Ideas • Latest ‘Rights’; Compelling Explanations • One of the world's most bizarre conferences; delicious ironies • Thinning the herd; Downgrade Cut Short; from the archives • Cleverest Non-Humans; Medicare In Action • Oops!; The Weirdo-American Community; Least Competent Criminals • Life Imitates a Drew Barrymore Movie; Weird Science; Questionable Judgments • Questionable Judgments; Great, ahem, Art! • Fine Points of the Law; Thank Goodness for Narcissists • Cliches Come to Life; First Things First; Fine Points of the Law • News That Sounds Like a Joke; Suspicions Confirmed; Yikes! • Catch-22 Catches Disabled Veteran; The Continuing Crisis; Best Not to Ask Why
© 2011, Chuck Shepherd. Distributed by Universal Uclick |
Arnold Ahlert |
