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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Dec. 12, 2011 / 16 Kislev, 5772

Marriage deserves our respect

By Kathryn Lopez




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | "What are you doing? You know I have a boyfriend."

The enduring image of the Herman Cain campaign may be of a woman's account of what allegedly happened in a car in 1997. Her response to him, repeated endlessly for a few days by the insatiable media, served as a snapshot of our confused culture: supposedly liberated women sending ridiculously inconsistent signals to men. If she hadn't had a boyfriend, would a grope in a car be acceptable or welcome? As sexual-revolution nemesis Mona Charen tweeted while watching Sharon Bialek made her accusation against the former Republican presidential contender, wouldn't the proper response be "Back off, you creep!"?

Whether he's innocent or guilty, Cain's story is a cautionary tale for everyone with a ring on his finger and time on his hands. Cain has admitted to having what appears to have been at least an emotionally intimate relationship with (another) woman who was not his wife, which his spouse was not aware of. Alarm bells should go off, here.

Nancy and David French write honestly in their book "Home and Away" about the strains on a marriage when husband and wife are apart. David recounts of his time serving in Afghanistan: "Men were coming home on leave to find their wives gone from their houses. Other men were getting the modern equivalent of the 'Dear John' letter via Facebook message or email. Some guys discovered wives or girlfriends were pregnant, and still others were finding that their bank accounts had been looted by the very people they most trusted with their financial affairs."

Before he left, Nancy and David made rules, in a painfully honest conversation about human frailty. No drinking during the year of separation. Nancy would not "have phone conversations with men, or meaningful email exchanges about politics or any other subject." Nor would she be on Facebook where "the ghosts of boyfriends past" could contact her. When Nancy innocently started emailing with a man associated with a radio show about faith, she told David about it, and he asked her to end the relationship. David knew, with his "stomach clenching," that "the most intimate conversations a person has are about life and faith." And that "spiritual and emotional intimacy frequently leads to physical intimacy."

Separations don't only come in the form of military deployments, of course. Business and politics frequently ask for such sacrifices. Washington, D.C. is a city where married men and women, often with spouses states away, frequently find themselves attending receptions teeming with people interested in them in one way or another.

One congressional wife emphasizes: "Receptions are a danger zone. Members need to quickly learn that attending receptions is optional and there are very few they actually need to attend. …Married members should avoid alcohol use in public and (also avoid) private conversations with single women. Do not give out or request private contact info. Staff can handle legitimate requests. Talk about the wife and kids to any and all women!"

What a difference little cautions make. I know married men who won't have lunch alone with women who are not their wives, who won't close the office door during the most professional of conversations. It's about not just temptation, but appearances. It's a policy with added benefits, too: "It helps to insulate me against a false accusation by a woman," Mark DeMoss, author of "The Little Red Book of Wisdom," has told me.

Is all this overkill? Or perhaps an extreme but justified backlash to a culture whose mores have gone chaotic, a society that could use a little order, and some higher expectations and standards?

In his book "Men and Marriage," George Gilder writes:

"Unless very securely married, virtually any man will sleep with any attractive young woman. …In Washington, the liberated princess can sleep with senators." Though some of the "liberated princesses" have become politicians and powerful players themselves in the more than two decades since Gilder wrote that, the Cain story reminds us that our fallen nature remains, with decades of cultural confusion confounding the chaos.

A good marriage is an economic, educational and psychological blessing for children -- for men and women, too, and for a culture. We are disappointed when the glimmer comes off the Cain. While we may not have the same story to tell, we like that non-disgraced Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney and his wife, Ann, have been married for 42 years. We seem to value marriage, so let's put our money where our mouth is -- let's have some rules. And show the kids how to do it.

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