In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Dec. 29, 2009 / 12 Teves 5770

How to do a giggle search; First, ask Google a one-word question …

By Gene Weingarten

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Have you ever noticed that when you start to enter something into the Google search bar, it produces a dropdown menu of "hints" based on the most common queries it has received? So, for example, if you type in "why," one of the hints is, "Why do cats purr?" If you type in "how many," you are prompted with "How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?"

When you follow up on these things, you find that most have either no answer or an unsatisfying answer. As a public service, I decided to answer them myself. Each of the questions below was suggested by Google.

Why do cats purr?

It is how they laugh at us.

How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

This is an unanswerable question, because there are many kinds of pins, many kinds of angels and many kinds of dances. If you are talking about a standard American pushpin, and a standard-size angel, the correct answer is six, so long as it is a slow, make-out dance, like at a prom. The correct answer is "just one," however, if it's that Russian dance where you squat and kick your feet and yell "HEY!" with a bottle of vodka on your head. Angels actually prefer that one, I am told.

How can I lose weight fast?

Letter from JWR publisher

You can mail me $35, and then I will send you the Full Secret of the famous Weingarten Diet, which I will tantalizingly summarize here:

1. Eat all of your food naked, in front of a full-length mirror.

2. Before you swallow, stop to look at the chewed up food in your mouth.

If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Yes, when no one is looking, trees speak to each other in perfect English. So when trees find themselves falling, they tend to use a disturbing amount of vulgarity.

When does morning sickness start?

It starts the day after you finally have come to accept your pregnancy as a good thing.

When do you ovulate?

I do not ovulate.

Why is it that the mirror appears to reverse left and right but not up and down?

Because mirrors reflect, they do not invert, as a lens does. Your question mirrors a common ignorance, though.

Back when I was the editor of my college paper, a BMOC-type student wanted to attend an anti-administration rally but asked us not to take his photograph there, for fear of being identified and punished. We refused to guarantee that. So, on the theory that we would not dare to print profanity in the paper, he wrote the f-word on his forehead, backward, so when the photo was printed it would be readable. Alas, unlike mirrors, photographs do not flop images left to right. We ran the picture and identified him in the newspaper as the idiot who mistakenly printed a dirty word on his forehead backward. The caption correctly spelled out not only his name but the f-word.

What is my ip?

Your ip is the part of your psyche that is not the id, the ego or the superego. It is the part that produces stupid behavior, such as when you hit the button several times to make the elevator arrive faster. Collectively, the ip is responsible for the fact that there is a market for Segways, plug-in room fresheners and those blankets with sleeves.

How is babby formed?

Peepil make woopy then babby happinz.

Why hasn't he kissed me yet?

Because you have Ed Zachary Disease. Since you're Googling anyway, feel free to research it.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Gene Weingarten writes the Below the Beltway humor column for The Washington Post. To comment, please click here.


© 2009 WPWG