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December 2, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Dec. 24, 2008 / 27 Kislev 5769

Governor waxes poetic, but Combine rolls on

By John Kass

John Kass
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | You've heard of "Dead Man Walking"?

That was Dead Meat talking to the nation on Friday, letting America - and the Beltway media that have willfully ignored political corruption in Illinois - know just how low our politicians will crawl.

"I will fight. I will fight. I will fight," said Gov. Rod "Dead Meat" Blagojevich, his hair helmet remarkably relaxed as he proclaimed his innocence.

Portraying himself as the victim of a "political lynch mob," he promised to fight impeachment until his last breath, sending a none-too-subtle message to politicians in Illinois and Washington.

The governor's message?

Better make me a good offer, boys, and be quick, or this bucket I'm lugging will spill and everybody will get their loafers wet.

The thing is, the Illinois slop bucket has already begun to spill.

With the nation distracted by Dead Meat's manic performance art, President-elect Barack Obama made a fascinating announcement.

Obama selected outgoing Illinois U.S. Rep. Ray LaHood, R-Combine, for the post of secretary of transportation, putting LaHood in charge of Obama's planned trillion-dollar public works bonanza being sold as a jobs bill.

"Every dollar that we spend, we want it spent on projects that are there, not because of politics, but because they're good for the American people," Obama said. "If we're building a road, it better not be a road to nowhere."

Not because of politics? What does the great reformer take us for, a bunch of chumbolones?

What Obama forgot to mention is that with LaHood in charge of the roads, they'll lead to one place:

Bill Cellini.

Cellini, the Republican boss of Springfield who has been indicted in the Blagojevich scandal for allegedly shaking down the producer of the movie "Million Dollar Baby," is a strong LaHood ally. Cellini runs Sangamon County, and LaHood has enjoyed Cellini's political support.

They also joined to help oust the last true reformer in Illinois politics, former Sen. Peter Fitzgerald, the Republican who was denied an endorsement from his own state party after he brought federal prosecutors to Illinois with no connection to the bipartisan Combine that runs things here.

Republican money man Cellini is not only the Chicago political connection to machine Democrats and Mayor Richard Daley's City Hall - and a Blagojevich fundraiser - he's also the boss of the Illinois Asphalt Pavement Association.

They're the guys behind the guys who pour that hot sticky stuff on the roads, but don't get their cashmere sweaters dirty and drive black Escalades to the job site, before wheeling off for some osso bucco at Volare or other fine restaurants. They're interested in federal highways, aren't they?

But all that is future politics, waiting to spill from the Combine's bucket, and in the meantime, there was Blagojevich, in his frenzied mind the victim of our coarse appetite for innocent political blood, invoking Winston Churchill and calmly reciting Rudyard Kipling.

In his mind, the governor is not the man we thought he was. He's not the guy who was wiretapped by the feds, then charged with trying to sell Obama's Senate seat to the highest bidder, or who tried to shake down a children's hospital, or who pressured the Chicago Tribune to fire editorial writers.

Instead, he's a hero who has not lost his head and can be called a man, my son.

"I'm dying to answer these charges. I'm dying to show you how innocent I am," Blagojevich said, a study in casual outrage.

Then he proceeded to recite "If," Kipling's poem that is reprinted on millions of graduation cards given to boys in eighth grade, usually with a $50 bill inside, telling them how to grow up to be men.

"If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you..." Dead Meat recited, thrilling TV news producers, his head still, his voice clear.

It was a touching performance, not as emotionally charged as his defense lawyers screeching that this was an honest man, and that they were honest men who would tell reporters the truth about everything.

But it was touching nevertheless. Especially that Elvis salute at the end, when he walked off without answering questions.

Though he clearly invoked the courage of the Brits at the height of their empire, the one thing I didn't think about as he spoke was Churchill during the Battle of Britain.

Instead, watching Dead Meat, I was thinking of the guy in the ShamWow commercials on late-night TV.

ShamWow, the magical fabric that mops up 10 times its weight in liquids. The guy on the commercial pours cola on a white carpet and presses the ShamWow to the fluid and presto. It's mopped up. Yours for only $19.99.

Like Dead Meat, the ShamWow guy also knows the value of repeating the theme three times. Only he doesn't say, "I will fight! I will fight! I will fight!" He says, "ShamWow! ShamWow! ShamWow!"

And if Dead Meat fights to the last breath, as promised, politicians will need boatloads of ShamWows to sop up what's going to spill.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

John Kass is a columnist for the Chicago Tribune. Comments by clicking here.



Previously:


12/23/08: Got corruption? Get Jesse Junior G-Man 12/18/08: Will ‘feditis’ spread to Obama and Daley?
12/15/08: Man behind curtain is wizard of Rod, Rahm

© 2008, Chicago Tribune. Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.

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