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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Dec. 29, 2008 / 2 Teves 5769

‘Chicago II’: A governor's story

By Kevin Ferris


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Somewhere in Hollywood:

Producer: OK, Mr. Moore, let's hear the pitch.

Michael Moore: You'll love this. I call it a tragi-comic-docu-romance-musical sequel, "Chicago II: The Story of Rod Blagojevich." And we don't even have to write new songs. The old ones fit perfectly.

P: A political musical? I don't know ...

MM: No, wait. Hear me out. We open with an overhead shot of the governor's mansion, zooming in through the window to the big hair guy's office. He's standing on his desk, singing to the staff:

'Ask any of the chickies in my pen

'I love 'em all and all of them love me

'Because the system works

'The system called reciprocity...'

P: That does sort of fit.

MM: We cut to the family quarters, with Mrs. B singing to a pic of her hubby,

'He ain't no sheik

'#$%&

'That's no great physique

'#$%&

'Lord knows he ain't got the smarts.

'#$%&

'That scummy, crummy

'Dummy #$%& of mine.'

P: Those expletives could pull in a younger audience.

MM: Then we move to a news conference with Patty Fitzgerald and the U.S. Attorney Five. The feds are behind Fitz, swaying and snapping their fingers,

'He had it coming

'He only had himself to blame

'If you'd have been there

'If you'd have seen it'

And Patty belts out his solo line:

'I betcha you would have done the same!"

Then back to the chorus:

'The dirty bum bum bum

'The dirty bum bum bum.'

P: A swaying Patrick Fitzgerald is kind of a turnoff.

MM: Then we go to singing citizens on the street,

'Whatever happend to fair dealing?

'And pure ethics?

'And nice manners?

'Why is it everyone now is a pain in the ass?

'Whatever happened to class?'

P: So this isn't just about Chicago. This is about the deterioration of America in the Bush years.

MM: Exactly. OK, now back to the Guv, who is still into his desktop number,

'Got a little motto

'Always sees me through

'When you're good to Blago

'Blago's good to you!'

P: You can pull back and suggest the camera/bug is in the office chandelier.

MM: Too Philadelphia. OK, now some foreshadowing. Blago's lawyer talking to the press,

'Although you meet rats

'They're not complete rats

'So try to find that little bit of good.'

P: Oh my gosh, you're gonna get him off?

MM: Not without some dark days for the Gov. We show him alone at the desk, spotlight on him and his hair,

'Many's the @#$%& guy

'Who told me he cares

'But they were scratchin' my back

''Cause I was scratchin' theirs...

'From here to the end

'I am my own best friend, @#$%&....

'I won't give in

'I'll never bend

'and I am my own best friend.'

P: How do you handle the connection to the president-elect?

MM: Right now everyone's buying that no one on Obama's team - even the longtime Chicago pols - even knew Illinois had a governor. So we go behind the scenes with adviser David Axelrod coaching the staff,

'Give 'em act with lots of flash in it

'And the reaction will be passionate...

'When you're in trouble, go into your dance

'Razzle dazzle 'em

'And you've got a romance.'

P: That could be tricky.

MM: No problem. In this version, all Democrats are innocent. The whole thing is a Karl Rove conspiracy to embarrass the new administration.

P: So Blago walks?

MM: Yeah, on a technicality. There were no Kennedys in the state he could appoint to Obama's Senate seat - you know, the way things work in the rest of the country. So Blago had no choice but to do something else.

P: Clever.

MM: Big finish, then. The Gov is back atop the desk, the staff circling him, ecstatic, and he's belting out more of his signature number,

'The folks atop the ladder

'Are the ones the world adores

'So boost me up my ladder, @#$%

'And I'll boost you up yours...

'So what's the one conclusion

'I can bring this number to?

'When you're good to Blago

'@#$%& Blago's good to you!'

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Comment by clicking here.

Kevin Ferris is commentary page editor of the Philadelphia Inquirer.



Previously:

12/11/08: Operator: Welcome to transition hotline
12/03/08: How Obama will fight a growing front in Afghanistan
11/25/08: GOP ahead of curve for change
11/13/08: Prayers for President-elect Barack Obama
10/03/08: Obama's lowball attacks: Suggesting that McCain is a bigot runs afoul of the high-minded ‘unity’ tripe
09/06/08: It's unlikely that a President McCain would be driven by political ideology
09/04/08: Bold McCain will sharpen the contrasts

© 2008, Philadelphia Inquirer Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services

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