Home
In this issue
December 2, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Dec. 10, 2007 / 1 Teves 5768

Bickering to save the Earth

By Tom Purcell


Printer Friendly Version
Email this article

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Blanche and John Bickerson, two fictional characters who finally divorced after their radio show was canceled in 1951, discussed getting back together to save the environment.


"I don't know why we're even talking about this, Blanche. Getting back together is a terrible idea."


"But we have to, John. Michigan State University found that divorced people, because they no longer share one household but require two, use 61 percent more resources than married people."


"Be honest, Blanche. You want to get back together to use more of MY resources."


"You used to be so considerate, John. But ever since you married me, you have no sympathy at all."


"When I married you, I got everybody's sympathy. Look, Blanche, maybe we should take it slow. Why don't we fly to the Bahamas?"


"But what about our carbon footprint, John? It would be selfish of us to burn more fossil fuel just so we can go to an exotic location and patch things up."


"All right, Blanche. Why don't we go out for a nice dinner somewhere — get a couple of steaks and talk things over?"


"You know better than that, John! Cow flatulence produces methane, a greenhouse gas. And so many trees have to be felled to clear land for grazing. Eating steak is one of the worst environmental sins!"


"Goodness gracious, Blanche. Then how about some fish?"


"Fish are bad for the environment, too. Fossil fuels must be burned to power the boats that catch the fish. Then the fish have to be trucked all the way across the country, which requires even more fossil fuel."


"I'll tell you what I'll do, Blanche. I'll go down to the lake and catch a couple of fish, then grill them up on the barbecue."


"We can't barbecue, John! Every time a person barbecues, he emits 50 to 100 grams of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. That's why progressive countries, such as Belgium, have issued a barbecue tax."


"OK, Blanche, let's stay in tonight and have peanut butter sandwiches in front of the fireplace."


"Fireplace, John! Don't you know some parts of the country are considering bans on wood-burning fireplaces? At the very least, governments should mandate pollution controls. How dare we pump soot, smoke and toxic fine particles into the air to enjoy a little romance."


"OK, Blanche. How about I light a couple of candles to get the mood right?"


"Every candle we burn will produce 15 grams of carbon dioxide, John. Haven't you heard of the Green Hanukkah campaign? A group of Israeli environmentalists is encouraging Jews across the globe to light one less candle on their menorah this year. If they're going to sacrifice so should we."


"Look, Blanche, if we do decide to get back together, maybe we should start a family."


"Children, John! Children are needy creatures that demand the Earth's precious resources to be wasted. Our children would cause even more greenhouse gases to be pumped into our fragile ecosystem."


"For Pete's sake, Blanche. Look, it's true the Earth has warmed roughly one degree in the last 100 years. It's possible human behavior has contributed in some way to that increase. It's also possible that it's a natural cycle — that humans have virtually nothing to do with it."


"Oh, John!"


"Whatever the case, we all need to keep our head about us, Blanche. The hysteria and fear-mongering has got way out of hand. That is no way to address any challenge, but because the media and some politicians see profit in emotion, suddenly EVERYTHING causes global warming."


"Oh, John."


"Blanche, we have to live our lives. If we get back together, shouldn't we do so because we love and need each other — not because it is supposedly good for the environment?"


"You'd better say you're sorry for that, John."


"Okay, Blanche, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."


"You are not."


"I am, too, Blanche. I'm the sorriest man who was ever born."

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Comment on JWR Contributor Tom Purcell's column, by clicking here. To visit his web site, click here.


ARCHIVES

© 2007, Tom Purcell

Columnists

Toons

Lifestyles