 |
|
Nov. 20, 2009
Nov. 19, 2009
Jonathan Tobin: ADL Crosses the Line with Report Bashing Obama Critics
Nov. 18, 2009
JWisdom.com: The (Jewish) Dating Game
with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (8 minutes)
Nov. 17, 2009
Steven Emerson: How Does the 4th Amendment Impact Terror Finance Investigations?
JWisdom.com: If Frank Sinatra married Edith Piaf
with Rabbi Y.Y. Rubinstein (2 minutes) Life lessons from what would be regarded as the most inappropriate lyrics ever sung
Nov. 16, 2009
JWisdom.com: Deconstructing faith
with Rabbi Warren Goldstein (9 minutes)
Nov. 13, 2009
JWisdom.com Sarah's subjective reality
with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 6 minutes)
Nov. 12, 2009
JWisdom.com Does God get tired?
with Rabbi Harvey Belovski ( 5 minutes)
Nov. 11, 2009
JWisdom.com Marriages are not made in Heaven
with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (VERY fast 15 minutes)
Nov. 10, 2009
Michael Doyle: Author of book exposing CAIR ordered to remove supporting documents from Web
JWisdom.com If the creation so loudly shouts the existence of the Creator, why aren't more people believers? with Rabbi Naftali Brawer (9 minutes)
Nov. 9, 2009
Mark Steyn: Shooter exposes hole
in U.S. terror strategy
JWisdom.com It's never too late to
have a happy childhood with Sarah Chana Radcliffe (5 minutes)
Nov. 6, 2009
JWisdom.com Zero to 1/60th: How
to Empower An Hour with Gavriel Aryeh Sande (7 minutes)
Nov. 5, 2009
JWisdom.com Hidden Hints: Unlocking
Faith & Prayer with Rabbi Jay Yaacov Schwartz (10 minutes)
Nov. 4, 2009
JWisdom.com When God played peacemaker
With Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Nov. 3, 2009
JWisdom.com Are you are closet idolater?
With Sara Yoheved Rigler (10 minutes)
Nov. 2, 2009
JWisdom.com Abraham's Strange Change
With Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer (5 minutes)
|
| |
Jewish World Review
Dec. 6, 2007
/ 26 Kislev 5768
Think DNA testing is just for humans? You're barking up the wrong tree
By
Lloyd Garver
| 
|
|
|
|
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
We Americans are crazy about our pets. We spend $41 billion a year on them. The late Leona Helmsley left her dog, Trouble, $12 million. We've all seen dogs and cats wearing hand-made sweaters, despite their having natural fur coats. And my family entered this arena of the overly involved pet owner. We had our dog's DNA tested to determine his ancestry.
DNA testing did not really embed itself in the American psyche until the O.J. Simpson trial. Since then, hundreds of people who have been wrongly convicted of crimes have been freed after DNA testing. And then, of course, DNA was back in the headlines during the tragically lurid search for the biological father of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter. Just to refresh your memory, the possible fathers in that case ranged from Anna Nicole's lawyer/companion to Zsa Zsa Gabor's ninth husband.
But I never thought DNA testing would be a part of my life. When my wife took our dog to the vet recently, she told him that she had heard about DNA testing for pets. Since we had rescued our dog from the pound, she told the vet that we really had no information about what kind of dog he was. Without DNA testing, I knew exactly what kind of dog he was: a little, white, fluffy dog. But my wife wanted more information. It wasn't as if she was going to return him if she got surprising test results about Marmaduke (not his real name since the dog would like his privacy protected). And she wasn't hoping that he was descended from Queen Victoria's Olde English Sheepdog or anything snobby like that. She was just curious.
I was curious, too. I was curious how much this DNA testing cost, but I was smart enough not to ask. If I had, my feelings about the testing may have gone from, "That my be interesting" to "Are you crazy? What's the difference?" But I understood her curiosity. And I was tired of answering, "We really don't know" every time someone came up to me and asked, "What breed of dog is he?"
While waiting for the test results to arrive, I admit that I wondered about them just as much as my wife did. I knew that no DNA test could explain why Marmaduke sometimes forgets that he is housebroken, or why he doesn't like to eat alone, or why he has the ability to make us smile no matter what mood we're in. But now that some lab technicians were going to be looking at his DNA - presumably in between solving crimes - I wanted to know what his canine genome had told them.
The results finally arrived. It turns out that Marmaduke is part Italian Greyhound, part Miniature Poodle, and part Toy Fox Terrier. But this fancy DNA test also concluded that Marmaduke is part what they technically call "mixed breed." Apparently, he is descended from many breeds, but their "signals" are not "strong enough to identify." In other words, we still don't really know what kind of dog he is. The good news was that the test proved that his father was not Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband.
The pet paternity people listed some typical characteristics of each breed that they said Marmaduke was descended from. Some of these were words that most people use to describe their dogs - like "intelligent" and "playful." When I first read them, I started to think that the report was much like what psychic charlatans tell their suckers - just what the paying customers want to hear. But then something caught my attention. One of the traits listed under Miniature Poodle was "seems to enjoy dog sports such as ... musical canine freestyle."
I had no idea what "musical canine freestyle" was, but I was pretty sure that Marmaduke had never participated in it. I went online and learned that it is a musical program performed by handlers and their dogs in which the duos dance and "interpret the theme of the music." I smiled immediately. I no longer felt that we were being silly for checking out our dog's DNA.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Lloyd Garver has written for many television shows, ranging from "Sesame
Street" to "Family Ties" to "Frasier." He has also read many books, some of
them in hardcover. Comment by clicking here. Visit his website by clicking here.
Archives
© 2007, Lloyd Garver
|
|
Arnold Ahlert
Mitch Albom
Michael Barone
Dave Barry
Tony Blankley
Andy Borowitz
David Broder
Stratfor Briefing
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Suzanne Fields
John Fund
Frank J. Gaffney
Lloyd Garver
Jonah Goldberg
Julia Gorin
Jonathan Gurwitz
Paul Greenberg
Lewis Grossberger
Victor Davis Hanson
Betsy Hart
Nat Hentoff
David Horowitz
Laura Ingraham
Cheri Jacobus
Jeff Jacoby
Paul Johnson
Jack Kelly
Ed Koch
Ch. Krauthammer
Michael Ledeen
John Leo
David Limbaugh
Kathryn Lopez
Rich Lowry
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Dick Morris
Bill O'Reilly
Jim Mullen
Clarence Page
Kathleen Parker
Dennis Prager
Wesley Pruden
Tom Purcell
Jonathan Rauch
Celia Rivenbark
Robert Robb
Cokie & Steve Roberts
Pat Sajak
Debra J. Saunders
Culture Shlock
Roger Simon
Michael Smerconish
Thomas Sowell
Mark Steyn
John Stossel
Cal Thomas
Bob Tyrrell
Diana West
Dave Weinbaum
George Will
Walter Williams
Byron York
Mort Zuckerman
Robert Arial
Chuck Asay
Baloo
Chip Bok
Dry Bones
Lisa Benson
John Branch
Gary Brookins
John Cole
J. D. Crowe
John Deering
Brian Duffy
Everything's Relative
Mallard Fillmore
Jake Fuller
Bob Gorrel
Joe Heller
David Hitch
Jerry Holber
Steve Kelley
Jeff Koterba
Dick Locher
Chan Lowe
Ranan R. Lurie
Jimmy Margulies
Rick McKee
Michael Ramirez
Kevin Siers
Jeff Stahler
Ed Stein
Danna Summers
John Trever
Gary Varvel
Kirk Walters
How 2
Lori Borgman
The Savvy Consumer
Elder matters
Fixit
Dr. Peter Gott
GET A JOB! by Marty Nemko
Richard Lederer
Tech Maven
Every Monday Matters
Nutrition Myths
Bookmark These
Bruce Williams
How Stuff Works
|
