I hear a knock. I open my door. Look who's come a caroling with their own personal spin …
Striking Hollywood writers doing "Joy To The World":
Joy to the world, we're still on strike
Let reruns fill the aiiiir!
Let every week of "Heroes"
Look like last week of "Heroes"
Let "CSI" go away
"Grey's Anatomy" go grey
Then maybe, just maaaay-be
We'll get our pay
Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson duet on her distraction with "Baby, It's Cold Outside":
You really can't stay (baby, it's cold outside)
It's hurting my play (but, baby, it's cold outside)
I know you look like, an athlete's dream
(I've got some underwear you ain't seen)
But when you're up there waving
(Am I making your head go 'round?)
I'm supposed to be concentrating
(Your passes are hitting the ground)
Come back when it's warm
(But, baby, it's coooold outside)
The Mitchell Report gang does "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus":
We saw Clemens taking HGH
Somewhere in a locker room last year
Pettitte took a shot, Giambi took a lot
There's Bonds and Lenny Dykstra
There's so many we forgot, oh
We saw Clemens taking HGH
Steroids are more prevalent than beer!
Oh we know our case is weak
But none of the players would speak
Looks like blood tests will be big next year!
Bill Clinton warns America with "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town":
You better watch out, you better not blink
2008 is closer than you think
And Hillary is coming to town
She's loading the vans, she's moving back in
Put our stuff back where it'd once been
Hillary is coming to town
She sees me when I'm sleeping
She knows who's on my phone
She monitors my every move
Guess I'll spend New Year's alone — but
You better watch out, the girls'll all scream
When Hotty First Hubby is back on the scene
Bill-ary is coming to town
Britney Spears soothes her pregnant sister with "Deck The Halls":
Deck the halls, a new Spears baby
Falalalalalalalala
Will there be a husband? — Maybe
Falalalalalalalala
Little sister, someone kissed her
Long as his, last name ain't … Federline
Deck the halls, a new Spears baby
I'm so glad, I'm so glad — it ain't mine
Detroit Lions fans share their annual woe, with "The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting On an Open Fire)":
Safeties falling down like bowling pins
Linemen missing all their blocks
Quarterbacks having no time to throw
And coaches pounding on their rocks
Just turn back the clocks
Another losing football year
Playoffs still remain a dream
Although it's been said many times, many ways
Santa, please, bring us a new team
