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Jewish World Review Dec. 18, 2006 / 27 Kislev, 5767 Resist cupcake tyranny By Tom Purcell
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Let me get this straight. According to The Washington Post, schools are now banning cupcakes?
That's right. What of it?
They're just cupcakes. Little individual cakes wrapped in paper and coated with icing. What the heck could be wrong with cupcakes?
Are you not aware, sir, that there is a nationwide obesity epidemic among America's children? According to the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the number of overweight children between ages 6 and 11 doubled in the past 20 years!
Yes, there is an obesity problem with our children. Kids are taking in way more calories than they are burning off. There are a lot of causes that we need to address. But how the heck did this result in a cupcake ban from schools?
It traces back to the Child Nutrition and WIC Reauthorization Act of 2004. Simply, any school that receives funding for the federal lunch program is required to create a wellness policy.
A wellness policy?
That's right, each school must develop a formal program to promote good health. Typical programs involve physical education, a health curriculum and the elimination of junk food on school grounds.
No junk foods at school?
Nope, many schools, and some states, have banned sodas, cakes and candies from being sold in vending machines. Many are more cautious about the foods they serve in their cafeterias. And many are banning sweets from a variety of activities, such as fundraisers.
But when I was a kid, bake sales were a good thing to do. We raised lots of money for all kinds of charities. Now they're being banned, too?
That's right, and for good reason. If a school sanctions the use of sweets in any way, isn't that tantamount to teaching kids that sweets are good? Isn't that tantamount to encouraging them to eat sweets?
Aren't you over-thinking this a bit? One of the best teachers I ever had promised my fourth grade class fresh doughnut holes every now and then if we did well in our studies and classroom work. We always looked forward to that reward.
He could be arrested for that today.
Look, they're just cupcakes. As The Post article points out, cupcakes stoke our nostalgia. As adults, we equate them with the feelings of security and good times we enjoyed as children. Without cupcakes, what will kids be nostalgic about when they're adults?
An asparagus wrap, though I admit it's an acquired taste. Look, you need to get over it. Cupcakes are banned at schools all across America — maybe even in Texas one day.
The state's lawmakers passed the "Safe Cupcake Amendment" to protect the right to bring cupcakes to school.
Those strong-headed Texans. Look, there is no doubt our kids are overeating, but doesn't the problem have more to do with how they eat at home? Doesn't it have to do with a lack of exercise? And how about parents who aren't doing enough to promote good nutrition?
Sir, as an educator I cannot concern myself with what happens to kids in their homes. If I wish to maintain federal funding, I must follow federal guidelines and control what the children eat in my school.
But isn't the cupcake ban the latest in a long line of efforts in which the government seeks to control our behavior — in which "do-gooders" unwittingly drive all the color and flavor and fun out of every public institution? There is simply no way to replace a couple of cupcakes.
You've obviously never had our school's spinach wraps.
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© 2006, Tom Purcell |
Mitch Albom | |||||||||||
