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March 16, 2010
Steven Emerson: Combating Lawfare
JWisdom.com How to perform a miracle with Rabbi Yaakov Asher Sinclair (4 minutes)
Anne Bayefsky: Behind Obama's Dangerous Overreaction on Israel
March 15, 2010
The Jewish Ethicist By Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Father's obligations toward minor children
JWisdom.com Moody, Grumpy, Irritable Children with Sarah Chana Radcliffe (5 minutes)
Judith Graham: Get the whole picture before a CT
March 12, 2010
Rabbi David Aaron: You CAN have Heaven on Earth
JWisdom.com Manufacturing mediums with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (4 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick: The march of the Red-Green brigades
March 11, 2010
Glenn Garvin: Conspiracy theories, why people believe them and how they spread
JWisdom.com For Yourself, Not By Yourself with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (8 minutes)
The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer : Turn leftovers into tasty New England hash
Paul Richter: Biden promises 'viable Palestine' is in the offing
March 10, 2010
Paul Greenberg: Death Checks In
JWisdom.com How To Get A (Real) Life with Rabbi Warren Goldstein ( EXTENDED EPISODE)
Paul Richter: Israel exerts soverign right to its capital as Biden looks on astounded
Richard A. Serrano: 'Jihad Jane' indictment alleges threat from within U.S.
March 9, 2010
Wesley Pruden: Joe's Israeli adventure
JWisdom.com Free To Be (Responsibly) You and Me! with Rabbi Naftali Brawer ( 8 MINUTES)
David G. Savage: Supreme Court to rule on free speech in case of soldier's funeral
March 8, 2010
The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Make a fuss about those who cuss?
JWisdom.com Finding or Losing Yourself? Here's How! with Rabbi David Aaron ( 5 MINUTES)
Steven Emerson: America must learn from the UK about the future of Islamist subversion
March 5, 2010
Rabbi Berel Wein: Golden Calf still with us --- except it has multiplied
JWisdom.com The Limits of Eternity with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 4 MINUTES)
Caroline B. Glick: Biden's lost cause
March 4, 2010
Alan M. Dershowitz: How About A Real Campaign Against Abuses?
JWisdom.com Using Things, Loving People with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff ( 7 MINUTES)
Jordan "Gorf" Gorfinkel's Everything's Relative
March 3, 2010
JWisdom.com Grasping The Name of Your Life Game with Rabbi Warren Goldstein ( 8 MINUTES)
The Kosher Gourmet by Marialisa Calta : A cowboy's recipes for really good grub
March 2, 2010
Rabbi Avi Shafran: Someone's there
Diane Toroian Keaggy : Have we misunderstood Michelangelo?
March 1, 2010
JWisdom.com Whole in One with Rabbi David Aaron ( 5 MINUTES)
Michael Muskal: Hillary meets with Israeli official, discusses gefilte fish dispute
Feb. 26, 2010
Rabbi Francis Nataf: The Megilla of Spring
JWisdom.com A Biblical Secret for a More Powerful You with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 5 MINUTES)
Caroline B. Glick: When rhetoric rules the roost
Feb. 25, 2010
The Jewish Ethicist By Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: When walking away from your mortgage is both economically sound and makes ethical sense
JWisdom.com The Second Most Important Question in Your Life with Rabbi Yehoshua Karsh ( 5 MINUTES)
Seema Mehta : U.S.-Israel relations raised in California's Senate race --- by conservatives
Feb. 24, 2010
Rabbi Avi Shafran: The gift of the ‘prayer bomber’
Steven Emerson: Why Religious Freedom Commission is under attack
Feb. 23, 2010
Dennis Prager: Government, Yes! The Divine and Parents, No!
JWisdom.com The Last Laugh of Enlightenment with Rabbi Yaakov Asher Sinclair ( 5 MINUTES)
Anne Applebaum: Prepare for war with Iran --- in case Israel strikes
Feb. 22, 2010
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Is it not refreshing Tiger Woods' career has crashed and burned so dramatically?
JWisdom.com Esther and the third Truth with Rabbi David Aaron ( 9 MINUTES)
Kelly Brewington: Going smoke-free may raise diabetes risk
Feb. 19, 2010
Rabbi David Aaron: Is the Divine beyond us or within us?
JWisdom.com Olympic Faith with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 5 MINUTES)
Caroline B. Glick: Israel and the West are perpetrators of a myth that endangers the Jewish State
Feb. 18, 2010
Cal Thomas: Who is Rashad Hussain?
JWisdom.com A Wedding Disaster to Remember with Rabbi Y.Y. Rubinstein ( 3 MINUTES)
Feb. 17, 2010
JWisdom.com Think your life is messed up? with Rabbi David Aaron ( 11 MINUTES)
Greg Logan: 'Greatest Jewish sporting event of all time since David versus Goliath' may be postponed because of bar mitzvah
Feb. 16, 2010
Anya Martin : Boy's 'cerebral palsy' fixed with diet
JWisdom.com Feet On The Street Spirituality with Gavriel Aryeh Sanders ( 8 MINUTES)
Marty Peretz: Let Europe Mind Its Own Business. It Brings Nothing To The Table Save For Mischief
Feb. 15, 2010
Herb Geduld: Lincoln and the Jews
JWisdom.com Are Our Children Really Ours? with Rabbi Mordechai Becher ( 5 MINUTES)
Susan King: 'Wolf Man' reflected writer's wartime Jewish experience

Jewish World Review Dec. 12, 2006 / 22 Kislev, 5767

Tis the season for chaos

By Brad Dickson


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Tis the season. The season for long lines, impatient people, and occasional news reports of fatal shootings over parking spaces. A season of greed, gluttony, and simmering rage as multitudes of Starbucks-fueled shoppers, many ill with colds and flu, battle it out for merchandise, while coughing, sneezing, sneering and cursing at one another.


I want to make it clear, I enjoy the holidays. Ok, that was a lie. It seems like the politically correct thing to say. But you’ll have to excuse me, I just spent ninety minutes on a trip to the store that would normally have taken half an hour. After fighting heavy holiday traffic I made it to the retail establishment, one of those places where you pay to be a member so you can enjoy the privilege of spending 4.95 for a drum of shampoo that will last you through 2012.


But that beats the alternative. Never a fan of malls, the last time I voluntarily went to one when I wasn’t staring at a birthday or holiday deadline they still featured organ stores. Now malls feature elaborate, tricked out food courts because Americans are so fat we can’t possibly walk fifty feet from Sears to the record store without stopping off for a slice of pizza and a half-gallon of Haagen-Daaz.


So we shop, with pizza cheese running down our chins, crust dangling from our hair, our noses dripping onto for sale items, having to endure the inane “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” for the five millionth time, screaming into our cell phones to be heard over that repugnant dog barking “Jingle Bells.” If you have not been to a big city mall in mid to late December picture a European soccer riot if the rioters were less civilized and carrying brightly colored bags.

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A couple years ago a shopping mall Santa in California was fired for making an obscene gesture at a teenager who heckled him, and to me this sums up what this season has devolved into.


I miss the old days when stores weren’t so crowded, things weren’t so commercialized and hectic and people weren’t so angry. I miss the days when store Santas were conscientious about their work, and little kids didn’t leave “ jolly” St. Nick’s lap screaming in bloody terror over the alcohol-fueled missives of an embittered man in a red suit, sending our tykes off to years of therapy.


I miss the days when this country wasn’t as overpopulated and we could actually travel from Point A to Point B this time of year without encountering mass chaos. When people seemed happy during the holidays, when excitable, healthy children with their rosy red cheeks aglow ran up the mall down escalator. Now our children have piercings through their cheeks and are so obese they make it halfway up the down escalator before running out of breath and collapsing into fat, tattooed, illiterate heaps.


I long for an era when people were considerate of one another and respectful of strangers. Now the stores are battlegrounds, domestic Fallujah’s, only the poison gas is dispensed by fake-smiling, Botoxed, Stepford women at perfume counters.


I pine for a time when mall parking garages didn’t turn into demolition derbies and cacophonies of honking horns, screeching brakes, blasting stereos, car alarms and motorists who feel their rights have been violated shouting expletives in 13 languages and threatening to strangle one another with their “ Peace On Earth” bumper stickers.


If malls were POW camps the U.N. Security Council would step in and shut them down for operating under inhumane conditions.


I miss yesteryear when at least some folks did their Hanukkah and Christmas shopping early, and didn’t wait for the “biggest shopping day(s) of the year” when the stores basically turn into raging cauldrons of hate. There has to be a better way.


I’ll be doing the rest of my shopping online.


Scrooge was a visionary.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.


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JWR contributor Brad Dickson was a monologue staff writer for The Tonight Show With Jay Leno for 13 years. His latest book, "Maybe Life's Just Not That Into You: When You feel Like the World's Voted You Off" will be out shortly. Click HERE to purchase it at a discount. (Sales help fund JWR.).



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