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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Dec. 8, 2006 / 17 Kislev, 5767

A number of reasons for highway hassles

By Lori Borgman

Lori Borgman
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | You don't normally think of the engineers who design the interstate system as a knee-slapping, hoot-'n-holler, farcical bunch, but I'm betting they have a lot of laughs.


Consider the following: The oldest daughter and I are in the western suburbs of Chicago with the intention of reaching downtown in rush hour. If we had entered this trip into Mapquest it would have returned a page with driving instructions that said: Stay put.


I am the out-of-town driver today and, since we are battling a massive flow of traffic (approximately 326 lanes inbound), my passenger's job is to help watch for signs.


"We need 290," I say, easing into the flow of traffic. "There's a split up ahead, so help me watch. OK? 290."


"OK," my co-pilot chirps. "We're headed to 90."


"Right, 290."


"There's a sign!" she shouts. "We're in the wrong lane, we need to get over — way over - to the far right!


"What sign?" I snap. "I didn't see a sign."


"Well, it was right back there, and we only have a half mile. Hurry; I think you can make it."


"Are you sure it said 290?"


"Yes, it said to 90!"


We are clinging to the edge of the far left lane. Each and every lane of traffic to the right of us is hurtling along at Mach 2 speed, directly into the blinding glare of the morning sun. They have graciously left a quarter inch of stopping distance between vehicles.


"Hold on," I yell. My co-pilot grips the arm rests and I grip the steering wheel. We swerve, weave and skid sideways across 325 lanes of traffic and bully our way into the far right lane. All in a distance of only 18 inches.


"I didn't see the 290 sign," I wheeze. "I'm glad you spotted it."


I catch my breath and notice a light sweat breaking across my forehead.


"Hey! Wait a minute!" I yell. "This says we're going to 90. We don't want to go to 90. We want 290!"


"I GOT US TO 90!" she yells, clutching the dashboard.


"NO! NOT to 90 — 290! Give me the map!"


"YOU CAN'T READ THE MAP WHEN YOU'RE DRIVING!" she screams.


"No, but I can HIT you with it!"


"Listen to me — 290. Do you understand? 290!"


"Yes, I understand. Do you understand? I got us to 90!"


"No, we don't want to go to 90, we want to go TOOOOO 290."


"Ooooooh," she says. "In that case — and you're not going to like this - we need to get back to the far left."

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The traffic which was only mildly surly before has now turned ugly. Trucks are pushing little compact cars like crumbs into a dust pan. SUVS have metal spikes poking from their wheels and a granny in a VW bug up ahead just sprayed an oil slick and roofing nails from her rear exhaust. What's more, a sedan just sped by with an artillery gun mounted to the sunroof.


"I'm going for it. HANG ON!"


We careen wildly, lurching ahead of trucks and sliding between mini-vans. We do a 360 and miraculously wind up pointed in the right direction in the far right lane. The 290 lane.


Somewhere,engineers are huddled before an interstate mini-cam having their morning coffee and laughing 'til they snort.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Pass the Faith, Please" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here.

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© 2006, Lori Borgman

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