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May 24, 2012
Jeff Jacoby: The peace process battered Israel's reputation
Michael Muskal: 'Pro-choice' position hits record low, according to poll
Chris Farrell: Are We in a Tech Bubble?
The Kosher Gourmet by Penelope Wall: PHILLY CHEESE STEAKS --- hold the steak!
May 23, 2012
Tony Pugh: More private colleges offering tuition discounts
Mary Beth Franklin: How to Choose the Right Annuity for You
Tina Susman: The wig wasn't enough: Man gets 13 years for posing as his dead mom
The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen:A simple way to do fish right
May 22, 2012
Warren Richey: Can US group challenge overseas surveillance act? Supreme Court to decide
Thomas M. Anderson: Walking Away From a Mortgage
The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon: Enjoy a celebration of the most rich and layered flavors: Black bean, sweet potato and quinoa chili
May 21, 2012
Mark Clayton: Cybersecurity: How US utilities passed up chance to protect their networks
Howard LaFranchi: NATO summit: Who will foot the bill for long-term Afghanistan security?
Chris Farrell : Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF
Stephen Whiteside, Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Social anxiety disorder --- or just shy?
Guy Jackson : Victim's father regrets death of Lockerbie bomber
The Kosher Gourmet by Mario Batali: Famed chef's veal shoulder farsumagru: A festive meat course for late spring
May 18, 2012
Rabbi Berel Wein: Striving: The People of the Book's Book for (All of) the People
Steven Goldberg: 5 Great Stock Picks and the Exchange-Traded Fund that Owns Them
Mary Pickett, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Don't be forced into gluten-free lifestyle based merely on a doctor's false-positive test
The Kosher Gourmet by Carolyn Malcoun: DIY healthy lunchbox treats: HOMEMADE FRUIT BARS for kids and brown-bagging adults alike
May 17, 2012
Warren Richey: Teacher fired for being unwed and pregnant can sue religious school, court rules
Josh Mitnick: Netanyahu's 'centrist' coalition is already proving it's anything but
Steven Goldberg: Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF
Amina Khan: Research links coffee to lower death rates
The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Duran : Cheesy Potato Breakfast Casserole with Cheddar and Sun-Dried Tomatoes
May 16, 2012
Carmen Terzic, M.D., Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: A variety of exercises can help improve balance
Melissa Healy: National strategy on Alzheimer's disease aims to halt it by 2025
The Kosher Gourmet by Joyce White : GOODNESS GRACIOUS: GREENS! 4 winning recipes that are no longer just for down-home folks (Includes expert tips & techniques)
May 15, 2012
Kristen Chick: Obama administration resumes arms sales to Bahrain despite serious unresolved human rights issues. Activists feel abandoned
Pat Mertz Esswein: Homes are now affordable again and mortgage rates are low. What you need to know before you buy
Kathy Kristof: Our Practical Investor Fights Inflation with These 6 Investments
Sue Hubbard, M.D.: The Kid's Doctor: Lactose intolerant young child? Check again
The Kosher Gourmet by Kathy Hunt: Spread a Little Excitement with EXOTIC CONDIMENTS (4 RECIPES)
May 14, 2012
Lisa Gerstner: How to Protect Your Identity, Finances If You Lose Your Phone
Harvard Health Letters: Heart disease and dementia
The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon: MANGO COCONUT OAT MORNING MUFFINS are a bright but hearty delight
May 11, 2012
Jessica L. Anderson: Get the Best Deal on a Used Car
Jett Stone: Forget face-lifts and fake knees. Scientists have seen the fountain of youth --- and it's broccoli
The Kosher Gourmet by Chef Mario Batali: The famed chef's vegetable dish that tastes true to the season: FAVAS AND SUGAR SNAP PEAS WITH POTATOES AND TARRAGON
May 10, 2012
Sergei L. Loiko: Putin sends warning to U.S., NATO in Victory Day speech at Red Square
Mary Rourke: How being a 'mentch' got Vidal Sasoon his start and fighting in Israel's War of Independence provided him with confidence and a strong sense of his own identity
Jeff Bertolucci: Get Home Phone Service for Less Than $10 a Month
The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom: Gleaming with its golden, crimson, and snowy white hues, this silken smooth and creamy STRAWBERRY ORANGE TRIFLE looks impressive, but is easy to prepare
May 9, 2012
Sharon Palmer, R.D. How you can reduce your risk -- or delay -- chronic diseases associated with aging
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Jewish World Review
Dec. 27, 2005
/ 26 Kislev, 5765
The comfort room will soon be so comfortable, there won't be an incentive to ever leave
By
Brad Dickson
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
There's a new high tech toilet seat on the market that includes all the latest toiletry accouterments, including a remote
control and heating capability. Which basically means when Dad is tying up the bathroom for an hour in the morning, now he has no
incentive to ever leave.
The seats even come with a warm air dryer. They supposedly represent the "next big thing" in toilets, and I can't tell
you how long I've been waiting for that.
Also, the top-of-the-line model includes a little man who on demand runs into the john and reads select passages from
Reader's Digest. Okay, I made that part up.
There's no truth to the rumor that President Bush bought several that contain tiny microchip recording devices built into the
lid.
Called the "Swash" the seats retail for $429 to $549, and business is reportedly brisk. I could say the company is flush
with cash, but that's really beneath even me.
Don't get me wrong, I find the things darn impressive. Conceived by a successful Internet entrepreneur who is now almost
so wealthy he can tell his parents he makes toilet seats for a living, and aided by an investment from billionaire Mark Cuban, I'm
only bothered by the fact that our most brilliant young engineers are now going into toilet design, while NASA apparently gets the
slackers.
What next will the most innovative young MIT grads end up designing ultra-fast high speed urinals?
Will our most intelligent mathematical and scientific minds forsake the Pentagon and aerospace work to devote their lives to
perfecting a new and improved Chia Pet?
If Steven Hawking were coming up today, would we know him as "Self Cleaning Oven Guru Steven Hawking"?
I can easily discern some flaws in the Swash. The remote control is troublesome to me. It's bad enough when men lose
the TV remote and you must pick through couch cushions to find it, but let a guy drop this remote in the wrong place and you spend
the weekend rummaging around a sewer. And that's not progress.
I can foresee other potential problems. A few weeks ago a Colorado man sued a large store chain after his derriere was
somehow Super-glued onto a toilet seat. The way his luck runs he could push a little too hard on the bidet button of the remote
controlled toilet and end up in a head pounding, circling-the-bathroom-ride ala being caught up in a powerful indoor geyser.
All this high tech stuff is fine, and one day I hope to have heated seats in my car.
But should "high tech" really be the wave of the future in toiletry? Considering the size of Americans' posteriors are
growing at twice the speed of the hole in the Ozone layer, and now resemble something like the back end of a Ford Expedition, if
Expeditions were made of fermented cottage cheese and whale blubber, how about designing larger toilets? Also, if you make the
things really, really large, there's even a chance the average man would be able to hit one once a month or so.
While I'm on the subject of toilets, how about we take all the low flush johns on this planet, load them onto freighter
ships, cruise to the middle of the ocean, far away from any trace of civilization, dump them overboard, and come back and design
something that can handle two slips of ultra-thin paper without backing up like New Orleans after a levee snaps?
But in this flattening world, where countries around the globe are supposedly catching and surpassing the U.S., it's
good news to hear that we're solidly ahead of the rest of the world when it comes to one technology. The bad news? That
technology is toilet seats.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Brad Dickson was a monologue staff writer for The Tonight Show With Jay Leno for 13 years. He's presently developing a network television pilot. Comment by clicking here.
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