JWR Schticks and groans

In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Dec. 22, 2004 / 10 Teves, 5765

Christmas Gifts of the Rich and Famous

By Jeff Dunetz

Chill out, guys.

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Have you ever stopped to wonder what type of presents famous people give each other for the Holidays? The other day I got an opportunity to receive this unique insight. Getting comfortable on the evening train, my eyes spotted what looked to be a piece of expensive stationary on the empty seat across from me. Embossed on the top of the page was the name of an unfamiliar company:

Celebrity Shopping Service,
Fulfilling Gift Giving Orders of the Rich And Famous Since 1975.

How cool is that -- a gift service that shops for famous people! (Makes sense though…it must be hard for them to stroll into their local Wal-Mart unnoticed, especially during the Christmas rush.) Beneath the corporate logo was a list of gifts purchased by the shopping service and the intended recipient. It was grouped according to the renowned person who was presenting the gift.

Celebrity Shopping Service had a fascinating group of clients, and they ordered an extraordinarily list of gifts. One of the first names on the list was, Bill O' Reilly Fox Broadcaster and defender of Christmas.

At the top of O'Reilly's list is a set of Christmas CDs performed by Barbara Streisand. He was sending them to the director of the Passion Mel Gibson. Ms Streisand is a particular favorite of Mr. O'Reilly's. He uses her as proof of his theory that "Jewish people enjoy Christmas too." After all he has said. "Ms. Streisand has made Gazillions singing Christmas Songs, and she sings 'em really well" Included with the music is a nice card to Mel which, along with the usual Christmas greetings, suggest to the director that his upcoming movie about the Maccabees include a scene where Judah Maccabee decorates a Christmas tree.

Not many people know that Mel Gibson is a collector of historic William Shakespeare items. Along with the Streisand music, O'Reilly sent Gibson a rare first bound edition of "The Merchant of Venice" (Mel's favorite). On the inside front cover Bill inscribed a paraphrase of the comment he made on his December 3rd radio show. He inscribed, "Tell those Jews to convert or move to Israel"

U.N. Secretary General Koffi Annan is another client of the Celebrity Shopping Service. Annan arraigned for each of his EU friends to receive a pair of flannel "footsie" pajamas, silk-screened with giant red hearts. The center of each heart has a picture of their idol, the late Palestinian leader Yassir Arafat.

Koffi also sent a gift to the PA's Abu Mazen an $18,000 American Express Gift Card. I guess it was supposed to be 1,000 time chai. The card had the nicest note. "Dear Abu, Yassir took billions form the PA treasury and left it to his wife, so please use this to purchase some gifts for you people. Do not worry if I can afford to give you a gift of this size, it is well within my means (I made some extra money in a recent oil deal)"

John Kerry created a plaque out of one of Dan Rather's most famous quotes "Journalism is more addictive than crack cocaine. Your life can get out of balance." He had the shopping service send it to the, soon to retire, CBS Anchor along with a note, "Dear Dan, well… we tried"

The shopping service can do just about anything. For example, the Board of Governors of the BBC hired the service to create and ship a gift to the King of Saudi Arabia…a handcrafted two-mile long quilt. The quilt is to be fastened on the wall built by the kingdom to keep out people from Yemen. It has an Arabic inscription embroidered on it. Translated into English the inscription says. "Not all fences are bad…just those built by Jews to keep out terrorists"

I was so very impressed with the Celebrity Shopping Service and their ability to find unusual gifts, I sent them an e-mail with a request for presents that I would like for them to find before Christmas.

To Mr. Annan and his friends at the UN and the EU, I send a framed section of the UN Charter… the part which talks about the equal treatment of all nations. I would include a card explaining that maybe its time to re-read that charter and start treating Israel fairly.

To the Board of the Governor of the BBC, they are shipping a copy of Edward R. Murrow's biography with the hopes that they study it to learn the basic tenets of journalistic integrity.

I asked them to send Bill O'Reilly something to help him understand that some of those "people of faith" who voted for George Bush wear a yarmulke. Those of us who are Jewish in practice and conservative in politics feel comfortable with public and private expressions of religion. It is OK when someone says Merry Christmas to me when they don't understand it is not my holiday. I don't even mind public displays of the Ten Commandments (as long as they are written in the original Hebrew, or the translation is approved by a rabbi). However, when a teacher puts up a Christmas tree, teaches kids Christmas carols or has someone come into class wearing a Santa Claus costume, they are pushing one religion over another. Forcing my children to celebrate Christmas in school is the majority forcing their religion on the minority.

The Pledge of Allegiance talks about "one nation under G-d." Throughout the 240 years of U.S. history we have fought to ensure that one person's vision of G-d should not be enforced upon another.

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Jeff Dunetz is a regular contributor to Jewish World Review. Comments by clicking here.

© 2004, Jeff Dunetz.