Home
In this issue
April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Nov 29, 2011 / 3 Kislev, 5772

Me vs. Mother Nature

By Tom Purcell




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Mother Nature is trying to kill me.

She's been after me for quite a while. She came at me when I was a kid with rainstorms and lightning and trees that jumped in front of my bike.

I made it to adulthood and bought my first house, a fixer-upper in the country. Boy, did she come after me then.

My first project was to tear off an old porch enclosure -- only to discover 80 hornet nests hidden in the walls. I got away with only a few stings. I had to wait weeks for cold weather -- hornets move slowly in the cold -- to finally zap them with spray.

As winter came on, nature followed me indoors. One night I was awakened by a loud scratching noise inside the wall next to my bed. I discovered three mice had taken over my house. I set traps, put out poison and even rigged up an electronic device that was supposed to drive them away.

It took weeks to get rid of the freeloaders.

The closest I ever came to dying -- and I am not making this up -- was when I was attacked by ground bees nesting in a planter I had just built. These vicious buggers keep stinging you until you are 100 feet away from their nest.

Following the advice of a rural neighbor, I got a canister of gasoline and poured some into the nest. I set the canister on the ground, 4 feet away. I lit a match, but before I could throw it into the nest, I heard "Wooooooooooof!"

You see, "Wooooooooooof!" is the sound gasoline makes when it ignites. It ignites because it gives off fumes. And gasoline fumes -- I tend to learn things the hard way -- are flammable!

Suddenly, an 8-foot-high flame shot out of the bees' nest -- right up the side of my freshly painted house! I noticed to my right that the gas canister, which I had previously filled with two and a half gallons of premium-grade fuel, was on fire!

Thinking quickly, I picked up the canister and ran down my driveway, cussing loudly. I launched the two-and-a-half-gallon Molotov cocktail into the air. When it landed, it exploded into a ball of flames. I raced for the hose and barely managed to douse both fires before I burned down the neighborhood.

These are just some of the many confrontations I've had with Mother Nature. I haven't mentioned the snake incident, my war with the groundhogs or how, every time we get a drizzle, the water that enters my basement makes Niagara Falls look like a lap pool.

In any event, this is one thing that puzzles me about the tactics of some environmentalists. They try to scare us into believing that mankind is destroying Mother Nature, portraying her as feeble and weak.

But anybody who has faced the wrath of Mother Nature knows that isn't entirely so. Given the first opportunity, she will chew us up like we're some kind of cud in a cow's mouth and spit us out -- and she'll do the same to people who've gone to desperate lengths to save her from humanity.

So wouldn't the people and politicians who want stringent new laws and higher taxes to correct the harm they say we are causing Mother Nature be better off focusing on cold, hard science, rather than playing our emotions to convince us Mother Nature is feeble and weak?

Maybe if they spent the winter at my rural house, they'd arrive at the same conclusion -- assuming they'd survive it.


Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Comment on JWR Contributor Tom Purcell's column, by clicking here. To visit his web site, click here.


ARCHIVES

© 2011, Tom Purcell

Columnists

Toons

Lifestyles