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Jewish World Review Nov. 8, 2010 / 1 Kislev, 5771 Red Alert By Alan Douglas
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
My first piece of advice is, "Don't let you daughter go out of the house wearing red and don't let her date anyone wearing red who drives a motorcycle." Two years ago a study in ScienceDaily reported that men wearing red are more attractive to women. Last week ScienceDaily reported a study showing that women wearing red are more attractive to men. Research covered in ScienceDaily previously concluded that male animals engaging in dangerous, show off behavior are more attractive to females than boring, good citizen, accountant-type animals. The "bad boy" animals attracted the girl animals and the risky behavior by the "bad boys" was rewarded with sex. The study said evolution might favor the "bad boy" animals as being more aggressive and invulnerable. If the reports in ScienceDaily are to be believed, then folks, we have "trouble right here in River City." What is it about James Dean and Charlie Sheen that attract women? And the same goes for men attracted to dangerous women. The thrill of flirting with trouble brings an adrenaline rush. But what is it that causes the "good girl" to lose her status and position in the community, avoid the nice guys, and be drawn to a "bad boy" like a moth to a flame?
We all look for some trouble. People seek thrills to rise above the boredom of everyday life. Don't underestimate memories that last a lifetime. The adrenaline filled moment of rebellion makes us feel powerful and alive. Our memories are often snapshots of short bursts of excitement, just before we crashed and burned. Poet Robert Frost said that for human beings, "Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length." We seek new sights and experiences for the physical and for the mental thrill. At the circus we are entertained by the hall of mirrors. Human beings enjoy not only the challenge, but the disorientation of the maze. The fear generated by a roller coaster can be exhilarating. Many great accomplishments and noble battles pose risks but that isn't what I am pondering.
Seeing exotic lands is thrilling. We understand there are "accepted risks." If you chose to climb the mountain you might fall off the mountain. Starvation, frostbite, death, and crowded airports are all endured willingly by people anxious to see more of our world. G.K. Chesterton's advice for traveling was, "An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered."
One motivation for placing ourselves in harm's way is the desire to provoke a response from others. A child at risk is a parent's nightmare. The child might be rebelling, seeking attention, or asking for help by playing with fire. Faced with a world of imposed rules, divorce, and frustration, children discover danger can be powerful and empowering; especially if it is the power to destroy themselves.
My belief is that we get into trouble for the thrill, but we keep getting in trouble to be acknowledged. Harvard philosopher, psychologist and brother of writer Henry, William James confessed, "I now perceive one immense omission in my psychology: the deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated." We all want to be noticed, to be recognized. Assassins, serial killers, and reality television stars might say they are making a statement, but most just want to be remembered. This explains why we ignore the counsel of others. Youth and alcohol account for some of our rash missteps, but we are all guilty at one time of ignoring warnings from those we trust. Author Erica Jong lamented that, "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." If you feel you need to dive in and risk your life to live "on the edge" you know something is wrong.
My advice, which you might ignore, is to find excitement in each day of your life and then celebrate. Parents and teachers should offer more excitement each day to their children and students. The Greek biographer and philosopher, Plutarch said, "The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled." Daily excitement and adventure make life fascinating. Build some excitement into your life everyday, you will find stupid and destructive activities to be…well, stupid and destructive. Make your bucket list of adventures to do and plan when you will do it. Times are bad, you can't afford it, and you don't have the time, are all excuses. There is ample pain and drudgery in all of our lives, but we should not let it define us. Have you ever played croquet, caught a fish, witnessed a space launch, or been to Iceland? What haven't you done?
Napoleon Bonaparte appreciated life's dangers and possibilities when he raised his glass and said, "Champagne - in victory we deserve it; in defeat we need it." One of my all time favorite quotations is by columnist and speechwriter, Peggy Noonan. Noonan said, "Life should not only be grumbled about, but celebrated."
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JWR contributor Alan Douglas, an author, media executive, speaker, and attorney, lives con brio- except when he is grumpy.
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© 2010 Alan Douglas
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