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Jewish World Review Nov. 1, 2010 / 25 Mar-Cheshvan, 5771 Readers Respond Regarding Rabbi By Alan Douglas
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Here is a sampling of the emails I received and the winning entry that persuaded me what to do.
I have learned some valuable lessons thanks to JWR readers. Lesson #1 is to welcome reader comments from all faiths. Lesson #2 is to avoid having my columns used as ammunition for tribal warfare. Readers wanting to know if my Rabbi was Orthodox, Conservative, or Reform were either frustrated or relieved when I said it wasn't relevant. Lesson #3, it is much easier to write a column when all you do is quote emails from readers. My thanks to all of you who took the time to write, with special thanks to John K who ended his email with the following kind words …"I promise not to delete you if you are excommunicated!"
Here are some of the unedited emails ….
I'm not Jewish so what I think doesn't count ,what I've read says you should go to the people you appear to have offended and find out what they think you did. Homer H.
I would ask for a meeting with your Rabbi to determine whether he objected to your email on religious grounds or felt you were denigrating his calling and he takes personal insult. If it is not for any religious reason, I would ask if continuing in your present Temple offends him. If so I would seek an other religious home. If he was personally insulted, I would apologize and stay where you are unless he is still offended. I think the main issue is the state of your soul and religious progress and his responsibility to enhance it. I am not Jewish so don't know if this makes sense in the Jewish religion/culture. (Maybe he already gets too many emails to deal with. I have friends who say this.) J. R., Arizona
Your Rabbi is a schmuck—-you are well rid of him! Dr. ML, Minnesota
Mr. Douglas, As I advised you once before, what other people think of you is none of your business!!! Dot & Bill
Hey Alan; I found both columns good, like always, but I must add/ yes, those "but I must add" do cause instability in the stomach/lololoo I thought the reference to Religious leaders was good, specially since it is obvious that recognition comes from their selfless work and edification of those they are in contact with. So I must conclude that your Rabbi had problems with his hemorrhoids and his doughnut collapse while reading your column. You left out one more potential course of action; 8. Change your name to Mario Pardo and join the French Foreign Legion. Hhhahahahahahhah anyway have a great day and keep smiling. Hector, AL
Alan, From my prospective, I think we are all getting a little too sensitive and overly "politically correct, ad nauseam". Some world we have created, where everyone goes around offended… Give it a rest, he may have just had a bad day, or something. Love your candor, don't change. Muriel
And the winning email is….
Dear Mr. Douglas,
Regarding your rabbi's request that you remove him from your contact list, here are my thoughts. Do not engage in any attempts to read his, nor anyone else's, mind. The simplest solutions are so often the best ones: ask him. "Dear Rabbi _____, I removed you from my email list as per your request. If it wouldn't be any trouble to you, would you please tell me why you made your request?" Then close with the usual courteous and respectful words. It's short, it's to the point. Your rabbi's words suggested no particular reason for his request, but I'm guessing it was #4 from your list. It sounds like yours is a large congregation, so he must get loads of email. Perhaps he doesn't have enough time to give your column the attention it deserves. I hope you will do a follow-up column to tell us what your rabbi says, if he does reply at all. I'm sorry I never took the time to tell you this before, but I enjoy reading you on JWR. Compliments are always in short supply, and I'm remiss in not giving you this one sooner. Sincerely yours,
Upper 10th
The exact message suggested by Upper 10th was sent to the Rabbi, but as of today there has not been any response. We end this saga quoting Sergeant Preston of the Yukon, the valiant Canadian Mounty who starred in radio and television. Sergeant Preston would pet his husky and say, "Well, King, this case is closed".
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JWR contributor Alan Douglas, an author, media executive, speaker, and attorney, lives con brio- except when he is grumpy.
Readers: I Need Your Help with my Rabbi
© 2010 Alan Douglas
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