Home
In this issue
April 21, 2014

Andrew Silow-Carroll: Passoverkill? Suggestions to make next year's seders even more culturally sensitive

Sara Israelsen Hartley: Seeking the Divine: An ancient connection in a new context

Christine M. Flowers: Priest's execution in Syria should be call to action

Courtnie Erickson: How to help kids accept the poor decisions of others

Lizette Borreli: A Glass Of Milk A Day Keeps Knee Arthritis At Bay

Lizette Borreli: 5 Health Conditions Your Breath Knows Before You Do

The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom Coconut Walnut Bars' golden brown morsels are a beautifully balanced delectable delight

April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Nov. 20, 2008 / 22 Mar-Cheshvan 5769

Hotels go for the green

By Malcolm Fleschner


Printer Friendly Version
Email this article

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Whenever I stay in a hotel, I always keep an eye out for any new wrinkles the hospitality industry has come up with to better serve the weary traveler. Also bedbugs. One of my all-time favorite innovations has to be the "Sanitized for your protection" paper sash that hotels often drape across their rooms' commodes. Because only an establishment with the greatest confidence in its product can adorn the bathroom with a piece of paper that says, essentially, "You will not get herpes from this toilet seat."


More recently, many hotels have been trying to "go green" by adopting eco-friendly policies. Or, to be more precise, hotels have started requesting that guests "do their part" to conserve water and electricity by reusing towels and sheets. I, for one, applaud hotels for taking this brave pro-environment stance, even in the face of the very real risk that they stand to save millions of dollars in laundry expenses. Of course, the hotels would be glad to pass those savings on to those of us doing the actual conserving, but then we might not feel the same sense of pride at saving mother earth when drying ourselves with damp, soiled towels.


Some might say that environmental activism is, in fact, nothing new for the hospitality industry. Specifically, they can point to noted hotel heiress Paris Hilton, who has not only long insisted on using only low-wattage bulbs to light her home sex videos, but also has always raised awareness about the imminent threat of Global Warming through her signature catch phrase, "That's hot."


Still, I can't help but wonder if this appeal to hotel customers' altruism to reduce water use is having much impact. After all, "selfless" is not a word that springs to mind to describe most hotel guests' attitude toward room upkeep. Frankly, considering the virtual Superfund site of piled up trash, broken glass, stained towels, used syringes, partial animal carcasses and god knows what else the average guest leaves behind, hotels are usually appreciative if customers remember to put out any actively burning fires in the room before checking out.


This treatment also extends to our rental cars, often with even more disgusting results because we have to pack the same volume of filth into a much more compact space. But I think this is just our way of getting back at the rental car companies for trying to trick us into buying enough insurance to cover a fleet of Fallujah cab drivers.


Rental car agent: "Would you like to purchase the optional, but recommended, collision damage waiver? No? Initial that you decline here. How about coverage for accidents with uninsured drivers? No? Initial here. Coverage against vehicle theft? No? Damage from falling rocks, tree branches or other debris? Vehicle immersed in water? What if the car is commandeered by the authorities to pursue bank robbery suspects? Vehicle left behind during the Rapture while you spontaneously ascend to heaven? Initial here, here and here, and sign here in your own blood, please."


But it's not lost on customers that while rental car companies won't let you drive off the lot without first confirming that the car's exterior has no dings, dents, scratches, dried bird droppings or a single suspicious fingerprint, they make no similar demands regarding the car's inside. As a result, for the duration of your rental, the car's interior becomes a combination garbage receptacle, ashtray, spittoon, nose-wiping station, urinal and, well, let's just say that, "What happens in Vegas, stains in Vegas."


With this kind of customer behavior as the norm, you really do have to admire the hotels' moxie in expecting to persuade guests, out of concern for the environment, to voluntarily forego laundry services they're paying for. In fact, I'm so impressed that I've decided to adopt a similar strategy in my own life by using the global ecological crisis as an excuse to get out of all kinds of things I don't want to do.


"A ticket to go with you to see Cousin Enid's lead performance in the upcoming four-hour concert of Mongolian throat-singing? Why Aunt Agnes, you shouldn't have. Now you know how talented I feel Cousin Enid is, and would never put any stock in what those dozen or so reviewers said after her last performance ('screeching' is such a subjective term, anyway). But driving all the way across town to the old VFW hall will consume an awful lot of fossil fuels, so even though I'm a huge fan of all throat-singing, especially the Mongolian variety, these days the earth just has to come first. You understand, of course."


Who could have ever guessed that while all the environmentalists were desperately searching for ways to stop global warming, the hotel industry would actually discover the key to solving our ecological crisis: outright self interest!

JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here.


Previously:

11/06/08:Something does not compute
10/30/08: Early adopters tech their chances
10/21/08: Cyberspace invaders
10/21/08: Keeping up disappearances
09/17/08: Victims of math hysteria
08/07/08: My newfound sense of self (promotion)
06/24/08: Getting the brand back together
05/29/08: Phrased and confused
05/13/08: Take this job and love it
04/17/08: News you can (re)use
04/02/08: Commercial (over)load
02/20/08: An overdose of reality
02/14/08: A developing situation
01/30/08: I can tech it or leave it
01/02/08: Confessions of a coke addict
01/02/08: Our bills are due
12/13/07: Going (to lunch) once, going twice…
11/28/07: Out with the old
11/06/07: My latest pet project
11/06/07: Can't tune it out
10/23/07: Something special in the hair
09/12/07: Can I have your attention, please?
09/12/07: Houston, we have an image problem
08/21/07: In the heat of fashion
08/09/07: Let's get in the game
06/13/07: You gonna eat that?
05/08/07: That's disinter-tainment
05/02/07:You Are (not) Getting Sleepy...
04/18/07: No time like Father Time
03/15/07: Deface the Nation
03/08/07: More gifts? You shouldn't have
02/22/07: Relationships can be such a chore
12/05/06: Who's calling the shots?
11/09/06: I'm taking selling to a whole new level
10/27/06: Some skills are beyond repair
10/18/06: You can't tech it with you
10/04/06: Award to the wise
08/24/06: Phrased and Confused
08/09/06: We're Gonna Party Like it's $19.99
07/19/06: Just Singing in the Brain
05/24/06: Who says you can't go home again?
05/11/06: When nightly news stories go off script
04/26/06: Cents and sensibility: A thought for your pennies
03/16/06: The day the Muzak died
02/23/06: Checkbook diplomacy begins at home
02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning



© 2006, Malcolm Fleschner

Columnists

Toons

Lifestyles