
 |
|
May 24, 2012
Jeff Jacoby: The peace process battered Israel's reputation
Michael Muskal: 'Pro-choice' position hits record low, according to poll
Chris Farrell: Are We in a Tech Bubble?
The Kosher Gourmet by Penelope Wall: PHILLY CHEESE STEAKS --- hold the steak!
May 23, 2012
Tony Pugh: More private colleges offering tuition discounts
Mary Beth Franklin: How to Choose the Right Annuity for You
Tina Susman: The wig wasn't enough: Man gets 13 years for posing as his dead mom
The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen:A simple way to do fish right
May 22, 2012
Warren Richey: Can US group challenge overseas surveillance act? Supreme Court to decide
Thomas M. Anderson: Walking Away From a Mortgage
The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon: Enjoy a celebration of the most rich and layered flavors: Black bean, sweet potato and quinoa chili
May 21, 2012
Mark Clayton: Cybersecurity: How US utilities passed up chance to protect their networks
Howard LaFranchi: NATO summit: Who will foot the bill for long-term Afghanistan security?
Chris Farrell : Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF
Stephen Whiteside, Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Social anxiety disorder --- or just shy?
Guy Jackson : Victim's father regrets death of Lockerbie bomber
The Kosher Gourmet by Mario Batali: Famed chef's veal shoulder farsumagru: A festive meat course for late spring
May 18, 2012
Rabbi Berel Wein: Striving: The People of the Book's Book for (All of) the People
Steven Goldberg: 5 Great Stock Picks and the Exchange-Traded Fund that Owns Them
Mary Pickett, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Don't be forced into gluten-free lifestyle based merely on a doctor's false-positive test
The Kosher Gourmet by Carolyn Malcoun: DIY healthy lunchbox treats: HOMEMADE FRUIT BARS for kids and brown-bagging adults alike
May 17, 2012
Warren Richey: Teacher fired for being unwed and pregnant can sue religious school, court rules
Josh Mitnick: Netanyahu's 'centrist' coalition is already proving it's anything but
Steven Goldberg: Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF
Amina Khan: Research links coffee to lower death rates
The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Duran : Cheesy Potato Breakfast Casserole with Cheddar and Sun-Dried Tomatoes
May 16, 2012
Carmen Terzic, M.D., Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: A variety of exercises can help improve balance
Melissa Healy: National strategy on Alzheimer's disease aims to halt it by 2025
The Kosher Gourmet by Joyce White : GOODNESS GRACIOUS: GREENS! 4 winning recipes that are no longer just for down-home folks (Includes expert tips & techniques)
May 15, 2012
Kristen Chick: Obama administration resumes arms sales to Bahrain despite serious unresolved human rights issues. Activists feel abandoned
Pat Mertz Esswein: Homes are now affordable again and mortgage rates are low. What you need to know before you buy
Kathy Kristof: Our Practical Investor Fights Inflation with These 6 Investments
Sue Hubbard, M.D.: The Kid's Doctor: Lactose intolerant young child? Check again
The Kosher Gourmet by Kathy Hunt: Spread a Little Excitement with EXOTIC CONDIMENTS (4 RECIPES)
May 14, 2012
Lisa Gerstner: How to Protect Your Identity, Finances If You Lose Your Phone
Harvard Health Letters: Heart disease and dementia
The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon: MANGO COCONUT OAT MORNING MUFFINS are a bright but hearty delight
May 11, 2012
Jessica L. Anderson: Get the Best Deal on a Used Car
Jett Stone: Forget face-lifts and fake knees. Scientists have seen the fountain of youth --- and it's broccoli
The Kosher Gourmet by Chef Mario Batali: The famed chef's vegetable dish that tastes true to the season: FAVAS AND SUGAR SNAP PEAS WITH POTATOES AND TARRAGON
May 10, 2012
Sergei L. Loiko: Putin sends warning to U.S., NATO in Victory Day speech at Red Square
Mary Rourke: How being a 'mentch' got Vidal Sasoon his start and fighting in Israel's War of Independence provided him with confidence and a strong sense of his own identity
Jeff Bertolucci: Get Home Phone Service for Less Than $10 a Month
The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom: Gleaming with its golden, crimson, and snowy white hues, this silken smooth and creamy STRAWBERRY ORANGE TRIFLE looks impressive, but is easy to prepare
May 9, 2012
Sharon Palmer, R.D. How you can reduce your risk -- or delay -- chronic diseases associated with aging
|
| |
Jewish World Review
Nov. 20, 2007
/ 10 Kislev 5768
My latest pet project
By
Malcolm Fleschner
| 
|
|
|
|
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The problem with becoming a pet owner these days is that, as with so many
aspects of consumer life, there are just too many options. This was not
always the case - in the past, your basic pet alternatives boiled down to
either a cat, a dog, or possibly a bird, assuming you could prove special
circumstances, such as that you were: a) a magician; b) a pirate; or c)
Baretta.
Dogs and cats remain the most popular pets, of course - dogs are still
prized in large part for their fierce loyalty. As an illustration of
canines' remarkable devotion, every so often you hear the inspiring story of
a dog who gets left behind when the family moves away but then miraculously
turns up months later at the new home, often having traveled thousands of
miles, and proceeds to savagely tear the family members to shreds for
abandoning him.
And while cats are often criticized for being entirely selfish creatures,
that is not entirely accurate. Why, just take the case of Mittens, a
seven-year-old American shorthair who, when her owner's house caught fire,
raced inside and, heedless of the flames that threatened to engulf her,
valiantly dragged to safety the family's electric can opener.
But ownership of traditional pets usually requires a great deal of effort,
including daily feedings, trips to the vet, scooping litter boxes,
time-consuming walks, cleaning up whatever the animals have shed, coughed
up, spilled, or killed and dropped into the middle of the living room
carpet. For prospective pet owners who aren't ready for this level of
commitment, a less time-consuming pet like a snake may be preferable.
Bear in mind, however, that while snakes require very little upkeep, the
downside is that snake feeding is more - shall we say - visceral, than
casually scooping kibble into a bowl. At first, you probably won't mind
feeding crickets to the little guy, watching him (or maybe her - who can
tell, with a snake) swallow the little critters whole. As the snake grows,
however, it will need ever-larger prey, to the point where in a few years'
time you face the prospect of wrestling a live, kicking goat into the
snake's terrarium.
For a genuinely "low impact" pet, however, I highly recommend the latest
addition to our household menagerie: fish. If I had to encapsulate, in one
word, the greatest advantage fish offer over other pets, that word would be,
"flushability."
Ha ha, just kidding. As far as anyone in my household knows, I have never
flushed any of our pets down the toilet. But I'm serious about fish being
terrific pets. Up until this point, my only personal experience with pet
fish was a single episode during my childhood, when my sister won a goldfish
at a local carnival. I think she'd played one of those games where, if you
knock down all the bottles, you win a fish. If you only knock down one
bottle, you get two fish. It turns out that fish are a pretty cheap prize.
Sadly, my sister's goldfish, Charlie, lasted just one day. Soon after
arriving in our home, he developed a terminal case of "Mom Doesn't Want A
Fish." Unlike me, Mom did, in fact, flush Charlie down the toilet, but
promised us that he was enjoying a much better life frolicking in the nearby
Charles River. The truly scary thing is that Mom actually believed this to
be the case.
Beyond the simplicity, what's really surprised me about fish care is the
mystery surrounding what goes on in the fish tank. Within a week of bringing
home our little guppies, tetras and swordtails, almost before our
five-year-old daughter had time to name them, individual fish started
disappearing. I began to suspect that maybe I had underestimated our fish
and, perhaps inspired by the long distance-traveling dogs, had made a break
for it, hoping to return to their beloved fish store home. The simplest
explanation is often the best, after all.
The guy at the fish store disagreed, and suggested that a more likely
explanation was that our vanishing fish had been eaten - and here's the
truly chilling part - he said the murderer was probably still swimming
around in our tank!
After a bit of detective work involving much observation, quarantining of
individual tank residents and the purchase of a guppy whose job was to put
the "fish" in "sacrificial lamb," we determined that the likely culprit was
our orange swordtail, Johnny. I know, it's always the one you least suspect.
But unlike my mother, who would no doubt have consigned the culprit to a
porcelain grave, we showed leniency and returned Johnny to the fish store.
In time, we might even be willing to forgive him, and welcome him back into
our home. To prove his dedication, however, he'll have to find his own way.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here.
Previously:
11/06/07: Can't tune it out
10/23/07: Something special in the hair
09/12/07: Can I have your attention, please?
09/12/07: Houston, we have an image problem
08/21/07: In the heat of fashion
08/09/07: Let's get in the game
06/13/07: You gonna eat that?
05/08/07: That's disinter-tainment
05/02/07:You Are (not) Getting Sleepy...
04/18/07: No time like Father Time
03/15/07: Deface the Nation
03/08/07: More gifts? You shouldn't have
02/22/07: Relationships can be such a chore
12/05/06: Who's calling the shots?
11/09/06: I'm taking selling to a whole new level
10/27/06: Some skills are beyond repair
10/18/06: You can't tech it with you
10/04/06: Award to the wise
08/24/06: Phrased and Confused
08/09/06: We're Gonna Party Like it's $19.99
07/19/06: Just Singing in the Brain
05/24/06: Who says you can't go home again?
05/11/06: When nightly news stories go off script
04/26/06: Cents and sensibility: A thought for your pennies
03/16/06: The day the Muzak died
02/23/06: Checkbook diplomacy begins at home
02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning
© 2006, Malcolm Fleschner
|
|

Arnold Ahlert
Mitch Albom
Jay Ambrose
Michael Barone
Barrywood
Lori Borgman
Stratfor Briefing
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Richard Z. Chesnoff
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Alan Douglas
Larry Elder
Suzanne Fields
Frank J. Gaffney
Bernie Goldberg
Jonah Goldberg
Julia Gorin
Jonathan Gurwitz
Paul Greenberg
Argus Hamilton
Victor Davis Hanson
Betsy Hart
Ron Hart
Nat Hentoff
Marybeth Hicks
A. Barton Hinkle
David Horowitz
Jeff Jacoby
Renee James
Paul Johnson
Jack Kelly
Ed Koch
Ch. Krauthammer
Michael Ledeen
John Leo
David Limbaugh
Kathryn Lopez
Rich Lowry
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Ann McFeatters
Dale McFeatters
Dana Milbank
Jeanne Moos
Dick Morris
Jim Mullen
Deroy Murdock
Judge A. Napolitano
Bill O'Reilly
Kathleen Parker
Star Parker
Dennis Prager
Wesley Pruden
Tom Purcell
Sharon Randall
Robert Robb
Cokie & Steve Roberts
Heather Robinson
Pat Sajak
Debra J. Saunders
Martin Schram
Culture Shlock
David Shribman
Roger Simon
Michael Smerconish
Thomas Sowell
Ben Stein
Mark Steyn
John Stossel
Cal Thomas
Dan Thomasson
Bob Tyrrell
Ben Wattenberg
Diana West
Dave Weinbaum
George Will
Walter Williams
Byron York
ZeitGeist
Mort Zuckerman

Robert Arial
Chuck Asay
Baloo
Chip Bok
Dry Bones
Lisa Benson
John Branch
John Cole
J. D. Crowe
John Deering
Brian Duffy
Everything's Relative
Mallard Fillmore
Glenn Foden
Jake Fuller
Bob Gorrel
Walt Handelsman
Joe Heller
David Hitch
Jerry Holbert
David Horsey
Lee Judge
Steve Kelley
Jeff Koterba
Dick Locher
Chan Lowe
Jimmy Margulies
Jack Ohman
Michael Ramirez
Drew Sheneman
Kevin Siers
Jeff Stahler
Scott Stantis
Ed Stein
Danna Summers
John Trever
Gary Varvel
Kirk Walters
Dan Wasserman

Mr. Know-It-All
Ask Doctor K
Richard Lederer
Frugal Living
Tech Maven
On Nutrition
Bookmark These
Bruce Williams
|