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July 24, 2008

Rabbi Berel Wein: On the road again --- and again and again

Richard Z. Chesnoff: Mideast Refugees --- Failure vs. Success

JWisdom:: Word power is about more than vocabulary by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

July 23, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: The Mufti of Jerusalem's Nazi ideology lives on among contemporary Islamists

The Kosher Gourmet by Joe Gray: Smoked paprika turkey meatballs simmered in red wine and tomato sauce

JWisdom:: 'Routine' doesn't need to mean ‘rote’ By Rabbi David Aaron

July 22, 2008

Yossi Klein Halevi: Dear Barack Obama

Elliot B. Gertel: Eli Stone: Self-indulgent, arrogant corporate attorney as modern-day prophet

JWisdom:: Three Weeks - Nine Days - One Purpose by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

July 21, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Spending your kids' money

Mitch Albom: A grim exchange illustrates a key difference

JWisdom:: The Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith: Hammered on the Anvil --- Severed by the Sickle by Rabbi Nosson Scherman

July 18, 2008

Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: The Sanctification and Importance of Time

Caroline B. Glick: US wants it absolutely clear it has no intention of attacking Iran's nuclear installations

Mona Charen: What can you say about a people who welcome a child murderer as a hero?

JWisdom:: Living a dog's life, dawg? by Rabbi Dovid Gross

July 17, 2008

Steven Emerson: Deals with devils

Libby Lazewnik: One Step at a Time

JWisdom:: Leader the follower? by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

July 16, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Poaching humans

The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: Meaty pasta salad with summer berries perfect for warm evenings

JWisdom:: Keeping A Secret by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

July 15, 2008

Dennis Prager: False Equation: Opposing Same-Sex Marriage and Opposing Interracial Marriage

Joel Greenberg: Researchers look to Israeli circumcision program to help combat AIDS 'Alternatives' to Logic Won't Work

JWisdom:: Re-Jew-venating prayer, Part V: Why Judaism ISN'T Spiritual by Rabbi David Aaron

July 14, 2008

Jonathan Rosenblum: A warning from Canada to those who value life

Jonathan Tobin: 'Alternatives' to Logic Won't Work

JWisdom:: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Poland's Unique Antisemitism, Part II

July 11, 2008

Rabbi Francis Nataf: It's hard to be humble when you're great

Caroline B. Glick: A tale of two hostages

JWisdom:: Profane for Prophet by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

July 8, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Q. Duty to save gullible from themselves?

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Islamists have the West just where they want us

JWisdom:: Putting the Spirit Back into Spirituality, Part 3: The Fully Loaded Human Being by Rabbi Dovid Gross

July 3, 2008

Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski: A spiritual budget (TOUCHING!)

Jeff Jacoby: Israel still paying for its defeat

JWisdom:: Re-Jew-venating prayer, Part IV by Rabbi David Aaron

JWisdom:: The Moses Method by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

July 2, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: Appeasers Make Poor Patriots

The Kosher Gourmet By Kathleen Purvis: Slaw, y'all: For BBQs or Sabbath dinner, these southern recipes are something else!

JWisdom:: Rabbi Mordechai Becher: Jewish Rx for A Simpler Life

July 1, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Q. I think it's important to leave a legacy to my children. How much should I save towards this end?

Paul Greenberg:A President who is history deficient?

JWisdom:: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Poland's Unique Antisemitism

June 30, 2008

Jonathan Rosenblum: Remembering the architect of Torah Judaism for the modern world

Abe Novick: Hulk: Still a Jew?

JWisdom: : Putting the Spirit Back into Spirituality, Part 2: The Abandoned Child

June 26, 2008

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: Quantum leap to evil

Caroline B. Glick: Victimized families must not be allowed to dictate policy

June 25, 2008

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Today in Biblical History: King Jeroboam of Israel prevents pilgrimage to Jerusalem

Jonathan Tobin: Real Friends and Real Enemies

JWisdom: Raping of reason By Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

June 25, 2008

Steven Emerson: Kristof: Never Mind the Terrorists

Stratfor Intelligence Briefing: Mediterranean Flyover: Telegraphing an Israeli Punch?

JWisdom: Rabbi David Aaron: Re-Jew-venating prayer, Part III

June 24, 2008

Caroline B. Glick: What were they thinking!?

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Guilty knowledge

JWisdom: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Warping Innocence

June 23, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Diploma dilemma

Jeff Jacoby: A world without children

JWisdom: Rabbi Dovid Gross: Putting the Spirit Back into Spirituality --- Introduction

June 20, 2008

Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: Man: The Crowning Glory of Creation

Caroline B. Glick: Israel's darkest week

JWisdom: We aren't worthy? by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

June 19, 2008

Rabbi Elazar Meisels: The saints who don't come marchin' in

Chris Christoff: Muslim woman demands an apology from Obama after camera snub

June 18, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: Still Dancing Around Jerusalem

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky: Chilled fruit and vegetable soups

JWisdom: Souls Need A Check Up? by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

June 17, 2008

Rabbi Avi Shafran: Baby Einstein

Caroline B. Glick: Bush's rhetoric, Bush's policies

JWisdom: Re-Jew-venating prayer, Part II by Rabbi David Aaron

June 16, 2008

Varda Branfman: Bob Dylan, won't you please come home?

Diana West: Academic dares to question the 'religion of peace'

JWisdom: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Positive Backfire

March 22, 2007

J-Rhythms with Avraham Rosenblum: JWR's cutting-edge music program showcasing performers -- singers, song writers, musicians, and bands -- who learn and live the Torah lifestyle (OUR NEWEST IGODCAST !)

Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review Nov. 20, 2007 / 10 Kislev 5768

My latest pet project

By Malcolm Fleschner


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The problem with becoming a pet owner these days is that, as with so many aspects of consumer life, there are just too many options. This was not always the case - in the past, your basic pet alternatives boiled down to either a cat, a dog, or possibly a bird, assuming you could prove special circumstances, such as that you were: a) a magician; b) a pirate; or c) Baretta.


Dogs and cats remain the most popular pets, of course - dogs are still prized in large part for their fierce loyalty. As an illustration of canines' remarkable devotion, every so often you hear the inspiring story of a dog who gets left behind when the family moves away but then miraculously turns up months later at the new home, often having traveled thousands of miles, and proceeds to savagely tear the family members to shreds for abandoning him.


And while cats are often criticized for being entirely selfish creatures, that is not entirely accurate. Why, just take the case of Mittens, a seven-year-old American shorthair who, when her owner's house caught fire, raced inside and, heedless of the flames that threatened to engulf her, valiantly dragged to safety the family's electric can opener.


But ownership of traditional pets usually requires a great deal of effort, including daily feedings, trips to the vet, scooping litter boxes, time-consuming walks, cleaning up whatever the animals have shed, coughed up, spilled, or killed and dropped into the middle of the living room carpet. For prospective pet owners who aren't ready for this level of commitment, a less time-consuming pet like a snake may be preferable.


Bear in mind, however, that while snakes require very little upkeep, the downside is that snake feeding is more - shall we say - visceral, than casually scooping kibble into a bowl. At first, you probably won't mind feeding crickets to the little guy, watching him (or maybe her - who can tell, with a snake) swallow the little critters whole. As the snake grows, however, it will need ever-larger prey, to the point where in a few years' time you face the prospect of wrestling a live, kicking goat into the snake's terrarium.


For a genuinely "low impact" pet, however, I highly recommend the latest addition to our household menagerie: fish. If I had to encapsulate, in one word, the greatest advantage fish offer over other pets, that word would be, "flushability."


Ha ha, just kidding. As far as anyone in my household knows, I have never flushed any of our pets down the toilet. But I'm serious about fish being terrific pets. Up until this point, my only personal experience with pet fish was a single episode during my childhood, when my sister won a goldfish at a local carnival. I think she'd played one of those games where, if you knock down all the bottles, you win a fish. If you only knock down one bottle, you get two fish. It turns out that fish are a pretty cheap prize.


Sadly, my sister's goldfish, Charlie, lasted just one day. Soon after arriving in our home, he developed a terminal case of "Mom Doesn't Want A Fish." Unlike me, Mom did, in fact, flush Charlie down the toilet, but promised us that he was enjoying a much better life frolicking in the nearby Charles River. The truly scary thing is that Mom actually believed this to be the case.


Beyond the simplicity, what's really surprised me about fish care is the mystery surrounding what goes on in the fish tank. Within a week of bringing home our little guppies, tetras and swordtails, almost before our five-year-old daughter had time to name them, individual fish started disappearing. I began to suspect that maybe I had underestimated our fish and, perhaps inspired by the long distance-traveling dogs, had made a break for it, hoping to return to their beloved fish store home. The simplest explanation is often the best, after all.


The guy at the fish store disagreed, and suggested that a more likely explanation was that our vanishing fish had been eaten - and here's the truly chilling part - he said the murderer was probably still swimming around in our tank!


After a bit of detective work involving much observation, quarantining of individual tank residents and the purchase of a guppy whose job was to put the "fish" in "sacrificial lamb," we determined that the likely culprit was our orange swordtail, Johnny. I know, it's always the one you least suspect.


But unlike my mother, who would no doubt have consigned the culprit to a porcelain grave, we showed leniency and returned Johnny to the fish store.


In time, we might even be willing to forgive him, and welcome him back into our home. To prove his dedication, however, he'll have to find his own way.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here.


Previously:

11/06/07: Can't tune it out
10/23/07: Something special in the hair
09/12/07: Can I have your attention, please?
09/12/07: Houston, we have an image problem
08/21/07: In the heat of fashion
08/09/07: Let's get in the game
06/13/07: You gonna eat that?
05/08/07: That's disinter-tainment
05/02/07:You Are (not) Getting Sleepy...
04/18/07: No time like Father Time
03/15/07: Deface the Nation
03/08/07: More gifts? You shouldn't have
02/22/07: Relationships can be such a chore
12/05/06: Who's calling the shots?
11/09/06: I'm taking selling to a whole new level
10/27/06: Some skills are beyond repair
10/18/06: You can't tech it with you
10/04/06: Award to the wise
08/24/06: Phrased and Confused
08/09/06: We're Gonna Party Like it's $19.99
07/19/06: Just Singing in the Brain
05/24/06: Who says you can't go home again?
05/11/06: When nightly news stories go off script
04/26/06: Cents and sensibility: A thought for your pennies
03/16/06: The day the Muzak died
02/23/06: Checkbook diplomacy begins at home
02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning



© 2006, Malcolm Fleschner

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