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December 2, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Oct 11, 2011 / 13 Tishrei, 5772

A card for every lousy occasion

By Tom Purcell




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Boy, the wife is getting on my nerves. She keeps giving me sympathy cards for being unemployed.

Ah, yes, you speak of a new line of greeting cards from Hallmark. What do the cards say?

"Don't think of it as losing your job," reads one. "Think of it as a time-out between stupid bosses."

An interesting way to console someone who is out of work.

And awfully patronizing, if you asked me. It makes the person giving the card feel good and the unemployed slob receiving it feel worse. Here's the last one the wife got me: "Losing your job does not define you. What you do about it does."

Sounds a little preachy. Still, you have to hand it to the Hallmark people. With unemployment stuck at more than 9 percent, why not make dough exploiting a new market niche?

Well, if they're willing to exploit something as crappy as losing your job, why not exploit other lousy occasions?

This is going to be good. Go on.

How about cards for the millions of Americans who have gone bankrupt? Something like: "I hate to bother you now, dear friend, considering the mess you're in, but could you repay me my 20 bucks before the feds close in?"

Not bad.

How about cards for the millions of small-business people who are going under because they can no longer get loans, thanks to our government's overly stringent financial reform? "You gave your shot at the American dream and for that you are commended. But you forgot to factor in government red tape and the total lack of lenders!"

I suppose a person who just lost his or her life's dream might find that oddly amusing. What else do you have?

How about a card for that loser kid of yours who just flunked out of college: "You flunked out again, my helpless son, but it is no big deal. Our whole country is flunking now, you better learn to steal."

Tough times call for tough love.

Here's another for a fellow whose girlfriend ditches him: "It stinks to be the last to know, but Sheila left you a day ago. She's with me now, for obvious reasons. Your business failed and you have no money, but my political connections got me a six-figure federal-government job, you loser!"

You surely put a lot of thought into greeting cards for lousy occasions. Any others?

Here's a card idea for people who didn't vote for Obama to give to people who did: "You voted for hope and change two and a half years ago. Now I have little hope or change and owe everybody dough."

Boy, you are crabby today.

Of course I'm crabby. I'm crabby that the economy is so bad and that our political leaders are only making it worse -- all of this wasteful spending, all of this insane borrowing, all of these new regulations and mandates that are making it harder for private employers to grow and hire.

Fair enough. The health care mandate alone is worrying a lot of employers.

But what makes me really crabby is that people are getting so used to unemployment being high, they suddenly think it's appropriate to give the unemployed sympathy cards -- that's a subtle acceptance of America's decline, if you ask me.

Surely you have a card for that?

I sure do: "We're Americans, not quitters, you see, and every American should be angry. We're the land of the free, the home of the brave. To hell with quitters and those who cave!"


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