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Jewish World Review READING THIS WILL MAKE YOU THIN AND HAPPY! By Jim Mullen http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Lots of people think subliminal advertising means that advertisers get us to buy their products by secretly inserting in their TV ads the words "sex" or "buy this" -- words that fly by so fast that viewers aren't even aware they've seen them. It works because, as we all know, if you see the words "buy this" flash by so fast that you don't even know you've seen them, there's absolutely nothing you can do to prevent yourself from hopping in the car and purchasing that product, even if you don't want it or need it. If subliminal advertising really worked that way, we'd all be saying things like, "Gee, honey, why did you buy a 50-pound sack of dog food when we have a cat?" or, "Why did I just buy a riding mower when we live in a high-rise?" That doesn't mean there isn't subliminal advertising. It just means it doesn't work the way most people think it does, like some kind of evil hypnotism. Here's how it really works. You see an ad for a company that delivers pizza. The ad talks about how good the pizza tastes, how inexpensive it is, how happy you and your family will be that you didn't have to cook dinner -- time you can now spend watching more TV and even more pizza commercials. The subliminal part is that no one in the commercial who is eating fattening, cheesy pizza with garlic-butter bread chasers and a "free" bottle of sugary soda is an ounce overweight. It's a miracle! The subliminal message is that you can eat this high-calorie food all day long and look like the models and actors in the ad. If you asked the models if they ever eat pizza, they would probably all say "never" or "once a year" or "I run a marathon once a week." After all, unlike you and me, they have to stay thin and good-looking to be in commercials. Beer commercials always show young, attractive, sober people having fun and hooking up. No one in a beer commercial burps or has a beer belly, glazed eyes or missing teeth. The ads never show some puffy-faced sad sack throwing up in the men's room or going home alone, drunk and less happy than he was before he downed his first six-pack of the day. The subliminal message in these commercials is that if you drink beer, you'll have fun and be good-looking and score with all the babes. Advertisers hardly need to flash the word "sex" in the middle of the commercial, when that's what the whole commercial is about to begin with. There's more sexual innuendo in the average beer commercial than there is in an ad for Viagra. Some say people drink to forget. If so, it's to forget how much they've already had to drink today. Ask any bartender how many of his customers drink because they are so gosh darn happy and well-adjusted. Look at the people in the commercials for fast-food restaurants on TV. Again, they are all model-thin and have the healthy glow you get from eating a lot of green vegetables, fruits and salads and from exercising regularly. Then look around the real fast-food restaurant the next time you visit one. Notice anything different? Where are all the healthy-looking people? Who are you going to believe? Your own eyes or the TV commercial? There's nothing wrong or immoral or secret about what the advertisers are doing. It's perfectly acceptable to show your product in the best possible light, to emphasize its good points. That's advertising's job. But we should be smart enough to know there's a hook in the middle of every lure. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Comment by clicking here. Jim Mullen is the author of "It Takes a Village Idiot: Complicating the Simple Life" and "Baby's First Tattoo." Previously: The Seven Secrets of Success It's tough living off the gridIt's tough living off the grid How not to clean the houseIt's tough living off the grid The yellow badge of cowardice Any way you slice it Home sweet homeschooling Don't Head for the Borders Money ball Golf and death go hand in hand Tune in, turn off, unplug The radar curtain Is Steve Jobs clouding my privacy? The gift of garbage Johnny Intern, Ph.D. Twenty-foot fences make good neighbors You must remember this… TV experts and real news Hey caller, where's the fire? My sad cushy life Pacemaker, don't you mess around with me Big Brother is skinny Flight of the snowbirds This HDTV needs child support Dear Future: Where's the dome? Not so elementary, my dear Watson A vacation revolution Your call is very unimportant to us Life: There's no app for that Bam! Practical kitchen magic Poisoning myself Ban Huck Finn in schools --- even the sanitized version! $38,000 for traffic and weather updates 2011 Predictions: Nostradamus was a hack 2010: A year of annoying junk Why do bad things happen to stupid people? Moving on from movie theaters Money never sleeps, but it does pass out President Trump kept it classy Stalking your college kid won't change a thing Putting my life in ‘Jeopardy’ Mo' government, mo' problems iLostIt Dressed for excess Expert tease The mysteries of Jersey ‘You are a toilet, where am I?’ Don't we all cheat at the game of life? What happens when I forget where Google is? Don't let the doorman hit you on the way out Picasso fiasco Purple (hair) ‘Daze’ Let me hear your body talk Working from work Babies deserve clean restrooms, too 3-year-old bear-killers are a thing of the past Money-making ideas on the fly Collecting and hoarding Chain of fools Please come pick up your acting awards, ESPN commentators, you've earned them You've been superpoked by the U.S. gov't e-Readin', e-Writin' and e-Rithmatic A pose by any other name Warning: Column contains 2010 spoilers ‘He loves only gold, only gold’ Think about direction, wonder why … Flushing your money down a diamond-studded toilet More like ‘wack’ Friday The good, the ad and the ugly The desert of the real Let books be large and in charge I was insulting people way before the Internet GPS drill sergeant: Left, right, left! Butterfly in the sky, you make winds go twice as high Music to my ears it's not You don't light up my life Fair or not: Country living is far from ‘Little House’ A parable for the ‘ages’ Top 100 Cable news stories of the century Green dumb A developing story Thinking outside the lunch box What's good for the goose is good for the scanner Newspapers will survive, but network TV? A really big show of generation gaps When pigs flu The reports of our decline have been greatly exaggerated Mergers and admonitions Invest in gold: little, yellow, different Stuck in Folsom Penthouse Collecting karma Setting loose the creative ‘juice’ It's all in the numbers You're damaging your brain with practical skills The real rat pack The unspeakable luxury of the Park-O-Matic Gross-ery shopping © 2009, NEA

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