Home
In this issue
April 21, 2014

Andrew Silow-Carroll: Passoverkill? Suggestions to make next year's seders even more culturally sensitive

Sara Israelsen Hartley: Seeking the Divine: An ancient connection in a new context

Christine M. Flowers: Priest's execution in Syria should be call to action

Courtnie Erickson: How to help kids accept the poor decisions of others

Lizette Borreli: A Glass Of Milk A Day Keeps Knee Arthritis At Bay

Lizette Borreli: 5 Health Conditions Your Breath Knows Before You Do

The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom Coconut Walnut Bars' golden brown morsels are a beautifully balanced delectable delight

April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Oct. 9, 2009 21 Tishrei 5770

The Hall of Jerks

By Roger Simon




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Jerks. You know who you are. But why do there seem to be more of them around this year? Or did we always have them, and just not notice them as much?

We notice them now. They intrude upon our lives and must be labeled for what they are.

So others can have their Halls of Fame — we have the Hall of Jerks.

Instead, we are enshrining people who don't actually believe they are jerks. But they are.

There are many kinds of jerks — boors, creeps, doofusses — and many definitions. As a starting point, one from the Urban Dictionary seems both poignant and apt.

A jerk, one contributor wrote, is a "person you really love that just doesn't see how much you care for them and yet, every so often actually treats you good, only to then act completely different from who they were when you first met them."

Enter our first nominee.

1. JOHN EDWARDS. Mere infidelity does not get you in the Hall of Jerks. (We would be overrun.) No, you have to add something a little more slithery. Not even mere hypocrisy gets you in our hall, though Edwards does pin the hypocrisy needle to the wall.

Here is John Edwards on his high horse on Feb. 12, 1999, speaking about Bill Clinton and his affair with Monica Lewinsky.

"I think this president has shown a remarkable disrespect for his office, for the moral dimensions of leadership, for his friends, for his wife, for his precious daughter," Edwards said. "It is breathtaking to me the level to which that disrespect has risen."

But it was Edwards who took our breath away, when he was dealing with his girlfriend Rielle Hunter. According to a story in The New York Times on Sept. 19, "Mr. Edwards once calmed an anxious Ms. Hunter by promising her that after his wife died, he would marry her in a rooftop ceremony in New York with an appearance by the Dave Matthews Band."

As we said, it's not the affair. It's not even the hypocrisy. We just think that anybody who makes promises to his lover about what he is going to do "after his wife dies" is a special kind of jerk.

2. TOM DELAY. Didn't this guy resign his House seat in disgrace after corruption allegations? And prior to that, wasn't he unanimously admonished by the House Ethics Committee for creating "the appearance that donors were being provided with special access"? And isn't he the guy who continues to ally himself with the disgraceful "birther" movement by replying, "I have no idea," when asked if he thought Barack Obama was a citizen?

So why did we have to endure DeLay shaking his booty on "Dancing With the Stars"? We do not wish to see him in sequins and high heels, on TV or off. And isn't "Dancing With the Stars" on during family hour? Don't we have an FCC to save us from such things?

This week, announcing he had stress fractures in both feet, DeLay decided to dance on — just before he decided to drop out.

"I'm insane or stupid — what?" he said. "I can't figure out which."

The envelope, please. Yep, it's like we figured: a toss-up.

3. SHEILA JOHNSON. Think only men can be jerks? Ha! We wish. How else can you explain the behavior of Sheila Johnson, who made fun of Virginia gubernatorial candidate Creigh Deeds for stuttering?

Johnson, the billionaire co-founder of BET, who backs Deeds' Republican opponent, Bob McDonnell, was addressing a group of supporters when she said: "We need someone who can really communicate. And Bob McDonnell can communicate. The other people that I talk to, and especially his op-op-op-op-op-op-opponent di-di-did this all through my interview with him. He could not articulate what needed to be done."

Does Sheila Johnson wag her fingers in the faces of blind people? Does she pretend to have difficulty walking when she sees people with muscular dystrophy? Does she mock people in wheelchairs? We refuse to believe she was raised this way. We believe she developed this unpleasant character flaw on her own.

And when she apologized — two weeks late and only after being caught — she issued a classic non-apology apology. "I shouldn't have done it in the manner in which I did, and for that I apologize for any offense he, or others, may have taken," she said.

Hey, you don't apologize for others taking offense. You apologize for being offensive.

4. DAVID LETTERMAN. We like David Letterman. We think he is very funny and smart and politically informed. He is also tall and rich and good looking, and married to a lovely woman whom he dated for more than 20 years and who is the mother of his 5-year-old son.

So he has to hit on his employees to get dates?

We know he has been very funny about this on TV and has won over a lot of people who now view him as a victim. But we can't help thinking: Did those women employees he hit on really feel they could say no to the boss? And isn't that kind of a jerky thing to do?

So: The Top Ten Reasons David Letterman Should Stop Hitting on the Women Who Work for Him.

10. He is too old.

9. They are too young.

8. The difference between what he did and sexual harassment is ... what exactly?

7. He is a role model for millions of Americans who have insomnia.

6. Even Bill Clinton would have told him not to. (Well, maybe not.)

5. He is in danger of becoming a stupid human trick.

4. Drew Barrymore will never flash him again.

3. He is going to end up with more troubles than a monkey on a rock.

2. Sarah Palin will never put him on the ticket now.

1. He will make the Hall of Jerks.

So that's our freshman class. But we have a feeling we missed a few. Or more than a few. Nominations are now open.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in Washington and in the media consider "must reading." Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.


Comment on Roger Simon's column by clicking here.


Roger Simon Archives


© 2009, Creators Syndicate